Merry Christmas to one and all

I am happy to report that all is well in Edinburgh this Christmas, we have had the normal Christmas that we dream of. We went to Ireland just ahead of Christmas for a few days and had a really nice time with my mum and brothers and sister. On sunday morning a lot of us plus multiple dogs walked for an hour along the costal path in Bangor had a nice breakfast in the Cafe and walked all the way back, kids throwing sticks, dogs swimming in the sea and gentle chatting - I even ran in to my teenage best friend Greg Donegan as we walked, he too was visiting his mum with his family for that weekend. I said to Lee that this was a Lou Reed day the moments you capture in your mind to sustain you through trouble in future. We were all happy and all well and none of the immediate family were unwell (though Lees dad had died earlier in the year and my uncle Harry has had a tough time recently, but is now on the mend). Unfortunatly we all got the flu in Ireland and so have had to take turns to nurse each other through Christmas and walking the dog Hercules but that has been fine.

So wonderful relaxing and unseasonably warm and still days have passed in a happy blur, long lists of things we should have done with the holiday lie undone as we actually chill out and enjoy the season. Over the next days we will try to get some clearing out done, go to Lees mum in Aberdeen and visit friends Avril and Duncan in Inverness before returning to Edinburgh in time for a nice new year party with a good bunch of friends. I may even get the chance to take the Aston for a long drive by myself up to Inverness via most of Scotland on my own, I am sure I can find a way along the coast the wrong way round for 10 hours or so!

So to those of you who stumble on this blog as part of your adventure into the world of cancer have hope, and value every moment, I have no idea how long my luck will last, but I know now how lucky I am since my illness, and I am happy with "the whole package" as a good friend of mine put it. We are even starting to make plans into the future, our holiday in Jordan was a great success and gave the kids a great sense of history, plans for the summer are for a safari in Tanzania, as the Bedouin taught us "ishna Allah" or god willing, or fate willing. For Lee it will be her first time back in Africa since just before we met (she worked in Kenya)

I know that it is random luck that I am still here to write this, and that many good people who faced the same challenge with courage, wit and humour much greater than mine are not here so I am a little awesome at being, so far, a survior, but thats the way it works, not on merit, not on courage, not on ability, not on worth but on luck. The cruelty of that is a lasting reinforcement of my personal non belief in a specific person oriented god, reinforced by the tailwagging devotion of our dog, who in that system "does not count" I still strongly believe in some connecting life force which draws us to the good even in bad situations, but believe less and less in the formulae of conventional religion founding in unaltered teachings of a bygone age. However faith is without doubt a great support to those who are lucky enough to have it so I do not disrespect its value to very many in troubled times, and the well intentioned and beliving people of these communities do really great and honourable things to help others, but sometimes you believe, and sometimes you do not, personally, without disrespect of those that do.

So its late on boxing day, kids are asleep, Lee is reading her book and all is well in the world. My best wishes to you and those you love, sleep well, safe and healthy now and in the coming year. If adversity comes your way I wish you courage to endure what must be endured and the strenght to overcome what can be overcome.

Happy New Year to you all

Gerry