As usual the effects of the cocktail of steroids etc that are given to me with the Chemo have me wide awake so at 6am on a bright saturday morning I am sitting down with my Eassic tea to update the blog. So far I am feeling fine which is some combination of the normal thing just after the chemo, perhaps helped by being off antibiotics and back on my complementary supplements, until I come off the steriods it will be hard to tell, so far so good.
Yesterday went fine, the line went in without trouble (on the other side) and the all important netrophil count was four times over the minimum, so chemotherapy went ahead. Its pretty tedious to sit and have chemicals pumped into you for the full afternoon and hard to concentrate on a book, so, as usual, we fell into chatting with the patients around us. One lady beside me, Francis, had lukemia which had spread to lymphoma and defeated three different types of chemo so now was finishing up this chemo, which made the poor lady (she is 60) very very sick to the point that she ended up in hospital after each of her last three treatments. She was preparing for a stem cell transplant from her brother if this next set did not work, fortunate for her he was a match (only a one in four chance). On the other side was Paul who had survived a liver transplant but got non-Hodgkins lymphoma as a side effect of his rejection supression drugs and was now being treated for that. He had been a soldier in N.Ireland so we chatted about life over there on both sides, so to speak, twenty years ago.
Finally the chemo party girls turned up to support their friend who has Hodgkins like me, so I learnt lots of new slang popular with 17 year old girls, probably that is good preparation for understanding poppy who is now getting into the habit of having deep discussions with Lee about boys, and falling in or out with various girlfriends. I think 10 is a very confusing age for a girl, the combination of still liking to play tig with your younger sister and worrying about getting ears peirced or when you will have your first bra seems tough to me.
Last night we put our kitchen to good use by having an unplanned dinner with our friends Sarah and Jim, christened the new kitchen with some Cava and Sancern for lee, beer for jim and fizzy water for me. Our kids their kids (and a spare one) were spread out across the house and we had a good chat for most of the evening, later Jim and I managed to sneak off to play the opening rounds of the new Laura Croft game on the playstation when no one else was looking. A jolly relaxed time was had by all, except Holly who was a bit ill and ended up taking my place beside Lee for comfort and support, thankfully Poppy had gone with the other family for a sleepover so I stole her bed and avoided being relegated to the couch (in case Holly was infectious).
My mum has headed off to Boston today for her 70th Birthday with her friend Anne whos daughter is working for Air Lingus out there. A nice birthday dinner has been sorted out for her while she is there - Happy Birthday Mum if you get the chance to read this when you are in Boston !
I had a very nice day on Wednesday as I was able to take most of the day as a holiday from work apart from a few phone calls from starbucks, unusually for me I went shopping and visited a local art gallery, had some spanish tapas for tea on my way home and went to the MG club meeting in the evening. It was a sort of idylic day and a different "type of time" without any hard schedule or anyone else to please, as Lee and the girls were still away. I think the concept of different types of time is a really good one and important to avoid having a well organised work life and a well organised home life which feels just like work but with the tasks changed from "write up report" to "repaint the front room". Specially when you factor in picking up and droping off childeren, homework it can feel like you are always "doing duty" as lee puts it and not so much "having fun".
So one of my intentions, which has been around for a while, but which I am taking more seriously after all this, is to find a balance of different types of time, rather than different types of busy. So I am looking to include "indulgent time", "hobby time", "outdoor time", "proper relaxing time", "friends time" and "exilariting time". The key thing for me about these types of time is that you cannot box them in on a filofax to specific clock hours, as the time passes differently lying on your back watching the clouds drift by, and you cannot tell in minutes how long is enough, so to do this right I think we need some days which are not scheduled in a firm way but are free to flex with different types of time.
So now my Eassic tea has settled I am off for my porridge with essential oils, maple syrup, fruit juice and other healthy options followed by some time in the garden starting to get it in shape for the growing season which seems to be just upon us here in Edinburgh. That will get me some outdoor time, some exercise time and perhaps I will sneak in watching the clouds or the birds go by .. but don't tell !
PS Holly is fine, she has just come in with her blanket, turned on the TV, asked for breakfast and remined me I have to take her to her friends at 10am, so much for plans, peace and quiet !
Cheers
Gerry
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hi Duncan seems like you need to ease up on those "birthday presents" till you are well enough, one of the side effects of chemo (other than birth control will no longer be necessary which saves me the expense of the operation) is that my radar is about half off rather than always on as in the past if you know what I mean..... maybe you should get some?
Bill Walleye camp is in the high reaches of indulgent and idylic time, the few days that you will remember until you die, I jest you not. I can remember setting out at 4am with the Valkaries, the sun setting over a lake where we had not seen anyone else for a day or two, bald eagles sitting on branches and bears scaring us to death, tai chi on the deck to texas, walleyes and taters for lunch, flat out in noddins boat across a flat mirror lake even landing on the floor from the top bunk in a drunken stupor and thinking "that hurt" but not actually getting up hence earning my indian name "gerry falls from bunk" I still have the emgraved penknife in the top drawer of my desk here.
Most of all I remember flying from Japan with a roller bag and computer to MSP, jumping on a puddle jumper to Kenora, trying to get a lift from the airport to town as there were no taxis, and finding a pub, whose name had changed, at the end of a pier, with the intention of meeting some friends who I had not seen for two years. Who just promised they would be there for me.
Some of you had travelled for hours across a lake, given up your fishing, and came flat out round a headland right on time just to pick me up and teach me to fish. I remember saying "I guess the beers on me!" but I meant much more. Eau Clare was a camelot team, a unique combination of talented people really trying to make a difference and a privilage to work with you all in those days.
To this day Lee does not understand how I could leave Holly, who at six months learned to walk when I was with you all, and she may be right, but that feeling only comes a few times in a lifetime. I am sorry in the end it did not all work out but in some way it is still inside us, just like our start up in China these are Camelot days and Walleye camp is part of that legacy for me.
So that is were Walleye time fits on the scale of times to have, enough to bring me from Japan once and China the second time. I would have been there this year apart from the inconvienence of cancer have one from me on the houseboat and dont give the cabin boy too rough a time !
Cheers
Gerry
Post a Comment