After my wobbly day yesterday I just wanted to give you a short blog to say things are all stabilised again over here. Last night therapy included reruns of Dr Who and Casulty on the TV followed by the England match and a history program on seiges in Vietnam which was very interesting, reasonably good sleep overnight helped as well.
This morning after this short blog I have a few pages of emails to clear and the happy task of phoning a number of colleages to discuss their pay rises which we do in June for a lot of people. A few people issues around the globe will keep me busy on the phone as well. With Ituns running podcasts in the background, my one allowed coffee cup in hand, and back into the working routine which has kept me going over the months everything is back on course emotionally.
I had thought of deleting the previous blog but I have decided to keep it in just to show that there are wobbly days, and that these can occur at funny times (like when you should be relieved that the treatment has been very successful). So dont worry about things I am fine now and the wobble is well and truly over !!
Back to the comfort of emails, lunch at the cafe, and walking back through the park with Holly at 3pm in our sunny summer weather.
Cheers
Gerry
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Not so cool for chemo 7
Finally today after three and a half months I managed to get my head in the wrong place for chemo 7, funny thing was it was all subconscious rather than on the surface, right up to the bit where I had a real panic attack for the first time in my life, this as the nurse tried, for the third time, to get a good line in to administer the chemo. It was a wierd feeling, I went all hot and cold, felt sick, and was debating with myself if I was going to fall over or if I could muster the energy to run away...very freaky all round as my logical head was going "what the hell is going on here body!" but some other part of my head got control for about 5min. All ended well as the nurse backed off, I asked for a timeout and put on my meditation tape, and the world slowely returned to to normal, so that we could go at it again and get the line in successfully, after that I still felt a bit wobbly but was able to overcome the urge to run away for the rest of the day as the chemo was administered. So that was a first, and not one I plan to repeat, brought on from my small amount of needle phobia but more from lack of preparation.
Normally two days ahead of the chemo I start to try to get "in the zone" I listen to my meditation tapes, walk round the park, take things easy all to get my emotions into a positive/defensive framework which has helped me (more than I had realised) handle the treatment. This time I had worked for a week and had a jolly time over the weekend including 4*4 driving and doing some heavy work in the garden clearing plants so we can have the stone wall rebuilt later this week. This morning I took Holly to school to allow Lee to get to work early to catch up and then, rather stupidly, decided just to walk to the hospital as it was such a nice day, so just over an hour later I pitch up at the hospital and they have moved the ward. So obvious mistakes, no meditation in the morning, too much exercise, hot from the walk, in a strange environment and as soon as I sit down, unusually, they were ready to put the line in (something which I am fearful of anyway). The poor nurse then botched two lines, trying to run the second one even though I knew it was not right and my stress level was going through the roof as I gathered the courage to tell her we would need to try again. Just then subconscious takes over and suddenly I am not really in full control of my body as outlined above...not to be recommended!
Never the less I got past this bit of emotional excitment and I now safely have chemo 7 inside me, a nice cup of tea to hand and back in the security of home, which are all big reliefs, I think taking it easy today, drinking plenty of water, Eassic tea and some easy TV or movies may be all I manage after this quick blog. The lesson of the day is once again the difficulty and the importance of managing your mind/emotions as much as managing the physical symptoms.
Cheers
Gerry
Normally two days ahead of the chemo I start to try to get "in the zone" I listen to my meditation tapes, walk round the park, take things easy all to get my emotions into a positive/defensive framework which has helped me (more than I had realised) handle the treatment. This time I had worked for a week and had a jolly time over the weekend including 4*4 driving and doing some heavy work in the garden clearing plants so we can have the stone wall rebuilt later this week. This morning I took Holly to school to allow Lee to get to work early to catch up and then, rather stupidly, decided just to walk to the hospital as it was such a nice day, so just over an hour later I pitch up at the hospital and they have moved the ward. So obvious mistakes, no meditation in the morning, too much exercise, hot from the walk, in a strange environment and as soon as I sit down, unusually, they were ready to put the line in (something which I am fearful of anyway). The poor nurse then botched two lines, trying to run the second one even though I knew it was not right and my stress level was going through the roof as I gathered the courage to tell her we would need to try again. Just then subconscious takes over and suddenly I am not really in full control of my body as outlined above...not to be recommended!
Never the less I got past this bit of emotional excitment and I now safely have chemo 7 inside me, a nice cup of tea to hand and back in the security of home, which are all big reliefs, I think taking it easy today, drinking plenty of water, Eassic tea and some easy TV or movies may be all I manage after this quick blog. The lesson of the day is once again the difficulty and the importance of managing your mind/emotions as much as managing the physical symptoms.
Cheers
Gerry
Friday, May 26, 2006
Hit it again.....chemo 7
Well this week has been a rollercoaster of emotions, elation, hope, disappointment and resignation all in one big blur. To cut to the chase I went to the hospital yesterday and had a long discussion with the chief cancer wizards about my case. Since the team at Aberdeen had looked at my PET scans and given them the all clear they had been checked by the top experts in Guys hospital in London and by the team in Edinburgh. Taking everything into consideration like the spread of the original disease and the residual size of the main tumor (now 1.5cm down from 4.5cm) and the scan uptake levels in the other nodes, etc they collectively concluded that I should go on with treatment to make sure we had got every last cell of the cancer. On a ten point risk scale I was a three if I had been one or two that could have been the end of the treatment. This means I am setting up for chemo 7 on Tuesday and will have at probably two more months of treatment (two chemos and one radiotherapy probably but we are still debating the last part).
This was the expected outcome really as I mentioned before, but I had sort of let my hopes drift up towards not needing any more treatment at all, which, had my risk score been lower, was a 50% possibility. So I am a little disappointed, but I do see the good sense of making sure we get it all this time rather than have to deal with it later, and I am well pleased that the disease is responding so well to the treatment so I have to just grin and bear it.
Since the clear scan announcement I have been having a jolly time, Lee and I took the kids away for the weekend to a really nice hotel with a super restaurant, lots of good walks and overlooking the sea on the west coast of Scotland. We walked on beaches, climbed small hills and watched boats going through the lochs. One evening we sat and watched a spectular sunset from the hotel roof for two hours with the kids practicing their dancing steps as we sipped brandies and celebrated.
On Monday morning me (and my antiseptic wipes) drove over to Stirling where some colleagues from the USA were visiting for a meeting and I was able (mostly) to pretend to be all right again for a week, which was a lot of fun, but exhausing. Along the way quite a bit of wine was consumed in the evenings and old stories shared among friends. I also got my 10 year service award in the course of the meeting which was fun. Earlier I had finally managed to get to see my friend Nick's factory and he paid for our curry dinner in exchange for my "consultation" fee and we had a jolly time arguing about the economic benefits of immigration (me on the positive side Nick increasingly impersonating Victor Meldrew as the grumpy right wing faction).
My mid treatment "celebration" week continues tonight when we head out to some Edinbugh friends house for dinner, and tomorrow night when I have my friends from Dumfries for dinner and then the next day we (at least the boys) are going on a 4*4 driving experience in Fife. Hopefully we will not roll the landrovers ! On Sunday night it will be funny in the house as Poppy is away for the week on her first school trip (outdoor pursuits in up north lets hope the weather warms up) and Holly is at a sleepover with friends - Lee and I may head out to the cinema for the first time together in years. She is toying with the idea of setting up a small business on the side if she can get the funding and approval which I think is a great idea.
Sunday morning will see me start the bone marrow boosting self injections once again so by Monday I will be back in the zone of sore bones, Eassic tea, supplements and meditation to try to get ready chemo 7 and another couple of months of treatment. If all goes well, and everything is looking good at the moment this is really sweep up or scavaging treatment, I should be finished treatment at the end of July giving me August to recuperate and be back to "normal" around mid September. Fingers crossed but we are well on the way now.
Sorry for the week off the blog for those of you who enjoy reading it and keeping up to date but it was nice to pretend to be well again for the week and we did not have internet connections in the different hotels. A challenge for me will be to work out where to focus my post chemo cleaning energy so, one criterion is to keep it away from Lee so it may be that I can get the new carpets and seats fitted to the MG before our clubs big show at Thirlastaine castle on the 4rd, hopefully I will not be too sleepy and the weather will be good !
Cheers for now
Gerry
This was the expected outcome really as I mentioned before, but I had sort of let my hopes drift up towards not needing any more treatment at all, which, had my risk score been lower, was a 50% possibility. So I am a little disappointed, but I do see the good sense of making sure we get it all this time rather than have to deal with it later, and I am well pleased that the disease is responding so well to the treatment so I have to just grin and bear it.
Since the clear scan announcement I have been having a jolly time, Lee and I took the kids away for the weekend to a really nice hotel with a super restaurant, lots of good walks and overlooking the sea on the west coast of Scotland. We walked on beaches, climbed small hills and watched boats going through the lochs. One evening we sat and watched a spectular sunset from the hotel roof for two hours with the kids practicing their dancing steps as we sipped brandies and celebrated.
On Monday morning me (and my antiseptic wipes) drove over to Stirling where some colleagues from the USA were visiting for a meeting and I was able (mostly) to pretend to be all right again for a week, which was a lot of fun, but exhausing. Along the way quite a bit of wine was consumed in the evenings and old stories shared among friends. I also got my 10 year service award in the course of the meeting which was fun. Earlier I had finally managed to get to see my friend Nick's factory and he paid for our curry dinner in exchange for my "consultation" fee and we had a jolly time arguing about the economic benefits of immigration (me on the positive side Nick increasingly impersonating Victor Meldrew as the grumpy right wing faction).
My mid treatment "celebration" week continues tonight when we head out to some Edinbugh friends house for dinner, and tomorrow night when I have my friends from Dumfries for dinner and then the next day we (at least the boys) are going on a 4*4 driving experience in Fife. Hopefully we will not roll the landrovers ! On Sunday night it will be funny in the house as Poppy is away for the week on her first school trip (outdoor pursuits in up north lets hope the weather warms up) and Holly is at a sleepover with friends - Lee and I may head out to the cinema for the first time together in years. She is toying with the idea of setting up a small business on the side if she can get the funding and approval which I think is a great idea.
Sunday morning will see me start the bone marrow boosting self injections once again so by Monday I will be back in the zone of sore bones, Eassic tea, supplements and meditation to try to get ready chemo 7 and another couple of months of treatment. If all goes well, and everything is looking good at the moment this is really sweep up or scavaging treatment, I should be finished treatment at the end of July giving me August to recuperate and be back to "normal" around mid September. Fingers crossed but we are well on the way now.
Sorry for the week off the blog for those of you who enjoy reading it and keeping up to date but it was nice to pretend to be well again for the week and we did not have internet connections in the different hotels. A challenge for me will be to work out where to focus my post chemo cleaning energy so, one criterion is to keep it away from Lee so it may be that I can get the new carpets and seats fitted to the MG before our clubs big show at Thirlastaine castle on the 4rd, hopefully I will not be too sleepy and the weather will be good !
Cheers for now
Gerry
Monday, May 15, 2006
Scans Clear !!!!!
I just had a phone call from my cancer consultant Kerry Davidson, apparently the CAT scan shows a small but much reduced mass in my chest, which is a significant improvement, and the PET scan is showing that there is no active cancer in the residual tumour !! Lots of hugs and jumping round the house have been the result but the bubbly is staying in the fridge as I am still very wobbly from chemo 6.
Normally the CAT scan showing some small mass would mean I would get one more chemo and then a dose of radiotherapy, in this trial the clear PET scan means half of us will get no further treatment, I will find out next thursday (12 days away) which half I am randomised into. Of course I have the option of discharging myself and not taking part in the trial if I am selected for further treatment but that needs some considerable discussion, lets hope the randomising goes in the direction of no treatment and the data is still of use to others.
At the moment I am still only three days from my last chemo and sleeping all the time as my white blood cells pumlet, I am still very prone to infection and this will take a month or more to recover and I may have up to two months of treatment to make sure the Hodgkins does not return, but we are clearly on the right path to recovery now. This is a great great relief.
Emotionally I am still in a sort of shock, I cant really feel anything yet, but I am sure that will come along as the news sinks in, the future will be uncertian for another few weeks but then we should be in good shape to start to make plans for holidays and getting back slowely to some form of normal life.
Thanks to all of you for your great support during the last four months, I will probably keep the blog up until I get a firm plan to get back to work, your help and support has been very important over this time, thanks again - I am off to run around the garden shouting and jumping !!
Cheers and big sighs of relief, I will write a proper thank you later
Gerry
Normally the CAT scan showing some small mass would mean I would get one more chemo and then a dose of radiotherapy, in this trial the clear PET scan means half of us will get no further treatment, I will find out next thursday (12 days away) which half I am randomised into. Of course I have the option of discharging myself and not taking part in the trial if I am selected for further treatment but that needs some considerable discussion, lets hope the randomising goes in the direction of no treatment and the data is still of use to others.
At the moment I am still only three days from my last chemo and sleeping all the time as my white blood cells pumlet, I am still very prone to infection and this will take a month or more to recover and I may have up to two months of treatment to make sure the Hodgkins does not return, but we are clearly on the right path to recovery now. This is a great great relief.
Emotionally I am still in a sort of shock, I cant really feel anything yet, but I am sure that will come along as the news sinks in, the future will be uncertian for another few weeks but then we should be in good shape to start to make plans for holidays and getting back slowely to some form of normal life.
Thanks to all of you for your great support during the last four months, I will probably keep the blog up until I get a firm plan to get back to work, your help and support has been very important over this time, thanks again - I am off to run around the garden shouting and jumping !!
Cheers and big sighs of relief, I will write a proper thank you later
Gerry
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Sleeping not so beauty
As you may have guessed from yesterday the cumulative effects of the chemotherapy are begining to show and I have continued to be a sleepyhead today as well. The good news is apart from the sore fingernails and sleepyness my Eassic tea and supplements (along with anti nausea meds) seem to be keeping my digestive and other symptoms under control and I feel quite well when I am not hiding under the duvet. Today I managed to cut the grass and our elderly neighbours grass before running out of energy so the new seats for the MG are still in the garage rather than in the car as had been planned. Thankfully from Lees point of view I did not set my sights on clearing out anything in the house so domestic harmony was much improved over last cycles events. Never the less the girls went out for drinks last night for sarahs birthday and met up again for moral support this morning at the cafe across the road just in case I was misbehaving and Lee needed coffee therapy - any excuse I think !
So tonights plan is to collapse for an hour or so in front of the TV and then to wobble off to bed with my liter of water (the fourth of the day) to keep my system flushing through. Tomorrow morning there is an MG club run down to the borders and Dumfries which I may be good enough for, depends on how I feel and the weather I guess. Now the trees are fully in leaf around the house and the sun is just going down, it feels like this whole chemo experience so far has actually been a really positive thing for me bringing me closer to Lee, Poppy and Holly and less consumed with job and "action lists". Whenever I do get back to work I do not think I will approach it in quite the same way... but lets see how the scans go before we let heads drift too far in that direction. So all quiet on this front and the positivness of warm late spring days is permeating our house and our mood on a fine day.
I hope things are as well where you all are
Cheers
Gerry
So tonights plan is to collapse for an hour or so in front of the TV and then to wobble off to bed with my liter of water (the fourth of the day) to keep my system flushing through. Tomorrow morning there is an MG club run down to the borders and Dumfries which I may be good enough for, depends on how I feel and the weather I guess. Now the trees are fully in leaf around the house and the sun is just going down, it feels like this whole chemo experience so far has actually been a really positive thing for me bringing me closer to Lee, Poppy and Holly and less consumed with job and "action lists". Whenever I do get back to work I do not think I will approach it in quite the same way... but lets see how the scans go before we let heads drift too far in that direction. So all quiet on this front and the positivness of warm late spring days is permeating our house and our mood on a fine day.
I hope things are as well where you all are
Cheers
Gerry
Friday, May 12, 2006
Chemo 6 of 6
Good news is chemo 6 is safely inside me without any major problems, bad news is the correlation and analysis of my scans will take until next thursday (I hope, at least that is when I have my next chief cancer wizard consultation now booked), so the uncertianity and the waiting will carry on for another week. Other news is that my nails may in fact fall off as they are separating from my fingers, another area to keep clean and watch for infection so this time I returned from the hospital with a big supply of rubber gloves!
I am more tired this time and had to go straight under the duvet once I got home for a few hours, just got up now so I will see how the evening goes, perhaps I will blog a bit later if my energy returns.
Cheers for now
Gerry
I am more tired this time and had to go straight under the duvet once I got home for a few hours, just got up now so I will see how the evening goes, perhaps I will blog a bit later if my energy returns.
Cheers for now
Gerry
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Mad Max flies into chemo 6
My grumpy bones have been bothering me more than usual today despite a big load of painkillers and my fingernails all hurt which is a new one for discussion with the doctors tomorrow as I go in for chemo 6. Its amazing to me that this is the last chemo of this first phase of treatment and three months has passed since I started writing the blog as it seems like no time at all since it all started.
I spent the morning in the hospital today getting the CAT scan which will be combined with the PET scan from monday to make the diagnosis. It is incredibily distracting and frustrating to think that the data on my condition is out there somewhere, but I do not know how it is going, hopefully all the cross checks and analysis will be done by early next week and then someone will get round to telling me - I can feel a stroppy paitent moment coming on tomorrow if I dont get a clear timetable on when I will know. Honestly I can't really concentrate or focus just now as the indecision and uncertianity are just too distracting specially when coupled with the sore bones. Its quite funny actually as I was watching TV tonight (my favourite House) with Holly and suddenly had a big hip pain and had to lean forward to relieve it cursing under my breath, Holly just said "bones dad ?" and I said "Yea bones" she then replies "it will be OK tomorrow" and turned back to watch the next bit of the program! It is just amazing how all this stuff becomes part of life and how the kids adjust to it. On reflection keeping them fully informed of the treatment, complications etc was a really good decision and it has allowed us to share quite nice thoughtful conversations over these months. I guess in some ways we all want to appear to be strong and invincable to our childern but I think seeing me getting chemo and injecting myself, being tired and ill will probably be good for them in the long run helping them to understand that bad things do happen for no reason - and that people get sick and recover or sometimes do not.
On a good note I did take two hours out from work and medical stuff on Wednesday morning to have my first flying lesson. It was a fantastic day with blue sky and no wind giving us views for miles in every direction. I had done a glider flying course 20 years ago so once I got used to the plane I was able to fly it myself for 45 min of the hour I was up, in fact I got myself to the runway (with a lot of verbal help from the instructor of course but I was flying the plane) and then handed over to him at 100 feet for the actual landing. I was well pleased and I think that this may spell the end of the Aston Martin dream. Good news is I took the MG all the way to the airfield and back so the leak from the water pump is now confirmed to be cured. As part of giving up any real chance to own an Aston I did splash out on some new seats, carpets and a walnut dashboard for the MG interior so it might feel plush! I will keep the screen saver for nostigias sake I think.
Positive energy to all the family at home specially Norah and Kevin in their new house, we are thinking of you and hope you have great luck there.
So I am off to toss and turn in bed with my eassic tea, elephant painkillers and a book, having kept my hair I hope not to lose my fingernails at the last treatment (they are going brown underneath which may not be good, but at least they like hair can grow back). Learning from the last steroid shock, which you may have gathered led to some domestic strain as I tried to manically tidy out my garage into the house, I am going to concentrate on replacing the MG interior this saturday as I can obsess all by myself in the garage and Lee can survive by bringing the occasional cup of tea and retreating to the house.
Happy birthdays to Kevin in Ireland and Sarah around the corner for today 11 min ago !
Cheers
Gerry
I spent the morning in the hospital today getting the CAT scan which will be combined with the PET scan from monday to make the diagnosis. It is incredibily distracting and frustrating to think that the data on my condition is out there somewhere, but I do not know how it is going, hopefully all the cross checks and analysis will be done by early next week and then someone will get round to telling me - I can feel a stroppy paitent moment coming on tomorrow if I dont get a clear timetable on when I will know. Honestly I can't really concentrate or focus just now as the indecision and uncertianity are just too distracting specially when coupled with the sore bones. Its quite funny actually as I was watching TV tonight (my favourite House) with Holly and suddenly had a big hip pain and had to lean forward to relieve it cursing under my breath, Holly just said "bones dad ?" and I said "Yea bones" she then replies "it will be OK tomorrow" and turned back to watch the next bit of the program! It is just amazing how all this stuff becomes part of life and how the kids adjust to it. On reflection keeping them fully informed of the treatment, complications etc was a really good decision and it has allowed us to share quite nice thoughtful conversations over these months. I guess in some ways we all want to appear to be strong and invincable to our childern but I think seeing me getting chemo and injecting myself, being tired and ill will probably be good for them in the long run helping them to understand that bad things do happen for no reason - and that people get sick and recover or sometimes do not.
On a good note I did take two hours out from work and medical stuff on Wednesday morning to have my first flying lesson. It was a fantastic day with blue sky and no wind giving us views for miles in every direction. I had done a glider flying course 20 years ago so once I got used to the plane I was able to fly it myself for 45 min of the hour I was up, in fact I got myself to the runway (with a lot of verbal help from the instructor of course but I was flying the plane) and then handed over to him at 100 feet for the actual landing. I was well pleased and I think that this may spell the end of the Aston Martin dream. Good news is I took the MG all the way to the airfield and back so the leak from the water pump is now confirmed to be cured. As part of giving up any real chance to own an Aston I did splash out on some new seats, carpets and a walnut dashboard for the MG interior so it might feel plush! I will keep the screen saver for nostigias sake I think.
Positive energy to all the family at home specially Norah and Kevin in their new house, we are thinking of you and hope you have great luck there.
So I am off to toss and turn in bed with my eassic tea, elephant painkillers and a book, having kept my hair I hope not to lose my fingernails at the last treatment (they are going brown underneath which may not be good, but at least they like hair can grow back). Learning from the last steroid shock, which you may have gathered led to some domestic strain as I tried to manically tidy out my garage into the house, I am going to concentrate on replacing the MG interior this saturday as I can obsess all by myself in the garage and Lee can survive by bringing the occasional cup of tea and retreating to the house.
Happy birthdays to Kevin in Ireland and Sarah around the corner for today 11 min ago !
Cheers
Gerry
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Running for Cancer
I just got the email below from my friend Alan Hunter who is running to support the very excellent UK charity Cancerbackup which provides support and information for cancer patients and thier families (you can check out their website which is a great resource). So if any of you want to support him with sponsorship it is going to a good cause, which was very helpful to me in the early stages of my own diagnosis. His email address is attached to his message below.
"I know you are just coming out of the latest Chemo - so hopefully everything is going to plan - I'll catch up on your latest Blog.
I think I mentioned I would run the Mens Health 10 k on June 18 at Glasgow and get sponsorship for Cancer Backup.
I am still planning to 'run' this although at this time my left knee is still bandaged from the surgery on Friday. Worst cast case I should be able to walk it by then - even if the Olympic record may not be under threat.
I will be getting people at my end for sponsorship - but I thought you might want to consider the Blog to get anyone at your end to put up sponsorship if they want.
I guess they could go through you or come direct to me at ahunter@wlgore.com or alanhunter50@hotmail.com or they can go on the website http://www.justgiving.com/alanh to sponsor me, all for a good cause !".
As you can see Alan has just had surgery on his knee so he will really be earning the sponsorship money in pain and sweat !
Cheers
Gerry
"I know you are just coming out of the latest Chemo - so hopefully everything is going to plan - I'll catch up on your latest Blog.
I think I mentioned I would run the Mens Health 10 k on June 18 at Glasgow and get sponsorship for Cancer Backup.
I am still planning to 'run' this although at this time my left knee is still bandaged from the surgery on Friday. Worst cast case I should be able to walk it by then - even if the Olympic record may not be under threat.
I will be getting people at my end for sponsorship - but I thought you might want to consider the Blog to get anyone at your end to put up sponsorship if they want.
I guess they could go through you or come direct to me at ahunter@wlgore.com or alanhunter50@hotmail.com or they can go on the website http://www.justgiving.com/alanh to sponsor me, all for a good cause !".
As you can see Alan has just had surgery on his knee so he will really be earning the sponsorship money in pain and sweat !
Cheers
Gerry
Monday, May 08, 2006
Glowing personality ?
Having just returned from my PET scan in Aberdeen I am glowing not with personality but with radioactivity, in order to do the scan I was injected with radioactive sugar and the leaflet contains nice advice like "do not let small childeren sit on your knee for the next few days" honest. When I asked the nurse if she was weighing me to determine the dose she said "no we give you the maximum we are allowed to" so I have a few days of double flushing the loo and I guess sleeping in the "spoons" position may be inadvisable.
I tried to get the nurse to leak the results to me but she did not give anything away, despite taking half an hour to ensure the scan was good enough that they did not need to do a repeat. I suspect, given her steely determination to say nothing, that there is still some activity on the scan, but I will have to sit on my hands and wait for my doctors to get the results. Meanwhile I will try to set myself up for the next phase of treatment until I get the actual facts and the results of my CT scan on Thursday. Hopefully I will bump into the doctor on Friday which is Chemo 6 or get to see her next week to at least eliminate the uncertianity. If I do have the next stage of treatment, then I will try to get it to start after the 28th so I can have a jolly weekend as planned to celebrate the end of the first phase of chemo (and can sneak in a meeting of close colleagues in the UK the week before to catch up with them) prior to "going underground" again for two months more treatment.
My trip to Aberdeen went well, I took the opportunity to get a map and walk from the train station to Lee's parents house which took me through an international food market, past a cathederal and through a park, all in all a very pleasant stroll for a sunny sunday afternoon. Contary to the title of lees previous blog Lee's mum fed me with a very nice tea of slow roast lamb while her Dad and I split a nice bottle of Rioja wine, her sister Dot also turned up for a chat and we rounded the evening off with the new edition of Top Gear (no Aston Martins on show) and a documentary about Krackatoa which was very interesting. Thanks to the wine I slept very well and got up to a breakfast of black tea as I was not allowed to eat anything.
Sandy, Lee's dad very kindly walked me up to the hospital where he himself worked for many many years and gave me a kind of history lesson on the way about the development of the hospital and the different departments he had worked in. A funny moment was when he said "what are all these schoolchilderen doing here?" only for me to point out they were probably the medical students - which they were! I returned to their house for lunch, in this case the famost Aberdeen butteries and lamb broth which, after a day of starving, went down very well. Lees mum makes great slow cooked lamb which I must discover how to replicate in our new oven.
Getting scanned itself meant lying down for an hour (no movement allowed) to let the radiactive sugar distribute itself around the body and then lying in the scanner for a further hour, I spent the time "visualising" nice possible futures hoping that somehow this would influence the results. One of the key things I have concluded from this adventure is to value and cherish family and friends more, the other perhaps less obvious one is to take more risks to enjoy life at the moment, hence you will see the alarm in Lee's blog as I comtemplate spending some savings on a silly (but not depreciating therefore not that silly) car to enjoy while I can.
Thankfully the effect of the steroids has diminished and my manic tendency to clear out my garage of household rubbish has mostly worn off, just in time to give Lee a well deserved rest (from me in manic mode) and for some new seats and carpets to arrive for my MG. This will get the inside looking as nice as the outside over the next few weekends in time for our big show at the start of July. Although this week is mostly going to be dreary medical stuff (with my first flying lesson thrown in on Wednesday) I can use the energy of chemo 6 on friday to restore my car in the recently cleared out garage, hopefully with sunshine and the radio to keep me in a good mood.
Finally thanks again to Sandy and Sylvia for looking after me in Aberdeen, I will keep you all posted as the results of the tests come in, for the moment I think it may just be "the eye of the storm" but I will keep my fingers crossed for the unlikly outcome of sailing off into the sunset !
Cheers for now
Gerry
(still with a DB9 screen saver, and without a DB9 budget)
I tried to get the nurse to leak the results to me but she did not give anything away, despite taking half an hour to ensure the scan was good enough that they did not need to do a repeat. I suspect, given her steely determination to say nothing, that there is still some activity on the scan, but I will have to sit on my hands and wait for my doctors to get the results. Meanwhile I will try to set myself up for the next phase of treatment until I get the actual facts and the results of my CT scan on Thursday. Hopefully I will bump into the doctor on Friday which is Chemo 6 or get to see her next week to at least eliminate the uncertianity. If I do have the next stage of treatment, then I will try to get it to start after the 28th so I can have a jolly weekend as planned to celebrate the end of the first phase of chemo (and can sneak in a meeting of close colleagues in the UK the week before to catch up with them) prior to "going underground" again for two months more treatment.
My trip to Aberdeen went well, I took the opportunity to get a map and walk from the train station to Lee's parents house which took me through an international food market, past a cathederal and through a park, all in all a very pleasant stroll for a sunny sunday afternoon. Contary to the title of lees previous blog Lee's mum fed me with a very nice tea of slow roast lamb while her Dad and I split a nice bottle of Rioja wine, her sister Dot also turned up for a chat and we rounded the evening off with the new edition of Top Gear (no Aston Martins on show) and a documentary about Krackatoa which was very interesting. Thanks to the wine I slept very well and got up to a breakfast of black tea as I was not allowed to eat anything.
Sandy, Lee's dad very kindly walked me up to the hospital where he himself worked for many many years and gave me a kind of history lesson on the way about the development of the hospital and the different departments he had worked in. A funny moment was when he said "what are all these schoolchilderen doing here?" only for me to point out they were probably the medical students - which they were! I returned to their house for lunch, in this case the famost Aberdeen butteries and lamb broth which, after a day of starving, went down very well. Lees mum makes great slow cooked lamb which I must discover how to replicate in our new oven.
Getting scanned itself meant lying down for an hour (no movement allowed) to let the radiactive sugar distribute itself around the body and then lying in the scanner for a further hour, I spent the time "visualising" nice possible futures hoping that somehow this would influence the results. One of the key things I have concluded from this adventure is to value and cherish family and friends more, the other perhaps less obvious one is to take more risks to enjoy life at the moment, hence you will see the alarm in Lee's blog as I comtemplate spending some savings on a silly (but not depreciating therefore not that silly) car to enjoy while I can.
Thankfully the effect of the steroids has diminished and my manic tendency to clear out my garage of household rubbish has mostly worn off, just in time to give Lee a well deserved rest (from me in manic mode) and for some new seats and carpets to arrive for my MG. This will get the inside looking as nice as the outside over the next few weekends in time for our big show at the start of July. Although this week is mostly going to be dreary medical stuff (with my first flying lesson thrown in on Wednesday) I can use the energy of chemo 6 on friday to restore my car in the recently cleared out garage, hopefully with sunshine and the radio to keep me in a good mood.
Finally thanks again to Sandy and Sylvia for looking after me in Aberdeen, I will keep you all posted as the results of the tests come in, for the moment I think it may just be "the eye of the storm" but I will keep my fingers crossed for the unlikly outcome of sailing off into the sunset !
Cheers for now
Gerry
(still with a DB9 screen saver, and without a DB9 budget)
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Come in and you'll have had your tea
Post from Lee
Good evening bloggers! I have control of the bridge tonight as Captain blogger is safely in the custody of my family in Aberdeen prior to going to get his PET scan at the hospital in Aberdeen tommorrow. My mum will be feeding him well known northern treats like stovies, cullen skink, clootie dumpling, butteries washed down by a wee dram or 2 (hence the title of this evenings blog).
Thank you all for your continued support, letters, phone calls and blog comments, G really appreciates them all and it helps him when he is having a low moment. Generally I am happy to tell you that he is coping very well so far and is focussing a lot of energy on sorting out lots of things in our house. I have labelled this activity sorting out "the boxes". I don't know if any of you out there can identify with this but we seem to have accumulated quite a number of "boxes" in our house that lurk in cupboards or in the attic and garages that are full of sentimental treasures gathered from various expeditions and past lives (some I confess still unpacked and sealed from Hong Kong trip in 2003!) G is determined to sort out the boxes and while I notice that many of my "treasures" are being selected for extermination you may be interested to know that a collection of car magazines dating from far too long ago, at least 200 science fiction books (some actual clones of each other) and a set of Japanese ceromonial swords are now pride of place in our new kitchen. I am beginning to recognise a pattern of behaviour now (enhanced by steroids following chemo treatment) of complete single-minded, manic, determined, tank commander, take no prisoners, absolutely no coffee breaks until the job is done sort of attitude from G to tackle "the boxes" on the home front. I expect there may well be some Gore associates out there who can identify with this :]
Interestingly G (always with an eye for an opportunity) has taken to changing the screen saver on our computer to a picture of a brand new Aston Martin (shaken not stirred) as if to create some kind of subliminal marketing devise to make me wish to become homeless to enable us to afford to accommodate this shiny new creature. When I got mildly alarmed about this the other day he did say he was prepared to down grade to a Ferrari (did he really think I was going to fall for that one!) Watch this space as he is due another steroid induced chemo on Friday so we may well all be homeless by Monday and G will be the proud new owner of........
Its good to talk and in my case its good to rant. I really must acknowledge some long-suffering relatives and friends who have put up with me over the past few weeks..my mum and dad, Dot, Alex, Nikki, Debbie and Liz. Last weekend at the height of the"sorting out the science fiction collection" I want to say thanks to Sarah and Odrian for agreeing with me and to Ian for letting me come round and sit in his shed and drink whisky, smoke some ciggys and have a really good rant and an "is it me?" type conversation and to Manus for making the mistake of asking me how I was at work (one hour coffee break later).
I am off to change the screen saver back to Dr Who.
Normal service will resume tommorrow. Have a good week.
Lee
Good evening bloggers! I have control of the bridge tonight as Captain blogger is safely in the custody of my family in Aberdeen prior to going to get his PET scan at the hospital in Aberdeen tommorrow. My mum will be feeding him well known northern treats like stovies, cullen skink, clootie dumpling, butteries washed down by a wee dram or 2 (hence the title of this evenings blog).
Thank you all for your continued support, letters, phone calls and blog comments, G really appreciates them all and it helps him when he is having a low moment. Generally I am happy to tell you that he is coping very well so far and is focussing a lot of energy on sorting out lots of things in our house. I have labelled this activity sorting out "the boxes". I don't know if any of you out there can identify with this but we seem to have accumulated quite a number of "boxes" in our house that lurk in cupboards or in the attic and garages that are full of sentimental treasures gathered from various expeditions and past lives (some I confess still unpacked and sealed from Hong Kong trip in 2003!) G is determined to sort out the boxes and while I notice that many of my "treasures" are being selected for extermination you may be interested to know that a collection of car magazines dating from far too long ago, at least 200 science fiction books (some actual clones of each other) and a set of Japanese ceromonial swords are now pride of place in our new kitchen. I am beginning to recognise a pattern of behaviour now (enhanced by steroids following chemo treatment) of complete single-minded, manic, determined, tank commander, take no prisoners, absolutely no coffee breaks until the job is done sort of attitude from G to tackle "the boxes" on the home front. I expect there may well be some Gore associates out there who can identify with this :]
Interestingly G (always with an eye for an opportunity) has taken to changing the screen saver on our computer to a picture of a brand new Aston Martin (shaken not stirred) as if to create some kind of subliminal marketing devise to make me wish to become homeless to enable us to afford to accommodate this shiny new creature. When I got mildly alarmed about this the other day he did say he was prepared to down grade to a Ferrari (did he really think I was going to fall for that one!) Watch this space as he is due another steroid induced chemo on Friday so we may well all be homeless by Monday and G will be the proud new owner of........
Its good to talk and in my case its good to rant. I really must acknowledge some long-suffering relatives and friends who have put up with me over the past few weeks..my mum and dad, Dot, Alex, Nikki, Debbie and Liz. Last weekend at the height of the"sorting out the science fiction collection" I want to say thanks to Sarah and Odrian for agreeing with me and to Ian for letting me come round and sit in his shed and drink whisky, smoke some ciggys and have a really good rant and an "is it me?" type conversation and to Manus for making the mistake of asking me how I was at work (one hour coffee break later).
I am off to change the screen saver back to Dr Who.
Normal service will resume tommorrow. Have a good week.
Lee
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Nearly done phase 1
Just a short update, things are going well here in Edinburgh, chemo symptoms seem to be past other than a bit of tiredness from time to time. The main focus now will be to get the scans and chemo 6 done next week before sitting down with the doctors the following week to find out how I am progressing. To be honest I am a bit apprehensive about that appointment, although the most likley thing is two further months of treatment, which would just be more of the same, I am begining to feel a bit like I felt when I had the first diagnosis of "cancer" but had not yet got to the definitive discription - its seems like I cannot really plan forward past this "event" in my head.
To counter this I have organised my first flying lesson on the 10th to give me something good to look forward to in the middle of the scans next week. I am also using the voucher for the 4*4 off road experience that Lee bought me for Christmas on the 28th to take some chums along and scare ourselves driving through rivers, mud and down cliffs. We have two dinner parties on the same weekend so that will be a "finished chemo phase 1" sort of celebration for me. If I have to get more then I will try to start just after that weekend so at least I have a weekend off when I am not just recovering from or just getting ready for chemo.
On other fronts things are pottering along well, I am still working about 50% of my normal rate mostly on the phone which keeps me from being bored in the house by myself. Once I get over the steroids (which makes me obsessive about nest building and sorting out the house to the distraction of all concerned specially Lee) then mentally I am fine and very positive. Lee and I are lucky to have good friends who take us out for odd beers and keep things normal/give us a rest and a laugh which has really helped.
So Lee is off to London today to give a lecture and I will be juggling my US phone conference and getting Poppy and Holly ready for Brownies and Guides after school, fortunatly we live beside the church which hosts these clubs so they can just run round once they have snacked and changed. I may go down to the borders to see my friend Neville over the weekend that will give me a chance to test the MG now the water leak has been (hopefully) fixed before going to Aberdeen on Sunday for my PET scan Monday.
Overall things are going pretty well here, the optimism of spring and the warm weather is affecting our moods!
Cheers
Gerry
To counter this I have organised my first flying lesson on the 10th to give me something good to look forward to in the middle of the scans next week. I am also using the voucher for the 4*4 off road experience that Lee bought me for Christmas on the 28th to take some chums along and scare ourselves driving through rivers, mud and down cliffs. We have two dinner parties on the same weekend so that will be a "finished chemo phase 1" sort of celebration for me. If I have to get more then I will try to start just after that weekend so at least I have a weekend off when I am not just recovering from or just getting ready for chemo.
On other fronts things are pottering along well, I am still working about 50% of my normal rate mostly on the phone which keeps me from being bored in the house by myself. Once I get over the steroids (which makes me obsessive about nest building and sorting out the house to the distraction of all concerned specially Lee) then mentally I am fine and very positive. Lee and I are lucky to have good friends who take us out for odd beers and keep things normal/give us a rest and a laugh which has really helped.
So Lee is off to London today to give a lecture and I will be juggling my US phone conference and getting Poppy and Holly ready for Brownies and Guides after school, fortunatly we live beside the church which hosts these clubs so they can just run round once they have snacked and changed. I may go down to the borders to see my friend Neville over the weekend that will give me a chance to test the MG now the water leak has been (hopefully) fixed before going to Aberdeen on Sunday for my PET scan Monday.
Overall things are going pretty well here, the optimism of spring and the warm weather is affecting our moods!
Cheers
Gerry
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)