My grumpy bones have been bothering me more than usual today despite a big load of painkillers and my fingernails all hurt which is a new one for discussion with the doctors tomorrow as I go in for chemo 6. Its amazing to me that this is the last chemo of this first phase of treatment and three months has passed since I started writing the blog as it seems like no time at all since it all started.
I spent the morning in the hospital today getting the CAT scan which will be combined with the PET scan from monday to make the diagnosis. It is incredibily distracting and frustrating to think that the data on my condition is out there somewhere, but I do not know how it is going, hopefully all the cross checks and analysis will be done by early next week and then someone will get round to telling me - I can feel a stroppy paitent moment coming on tomorrow if I dont get a clear timetable on when I will know. Honestly I can't really concentrate or focus just now as the indecision and uncertianity are just too distracting specially when coupled with the sore bones. Its quite funny actually as I was watching TV tonight (my favourite House) with Holly and suddenly had a big hip pain and had to lean forward to relieve it cursing under my breath, Holly just said "bones dad ?" and I said "Yea bones" she then replies "it will be OK tomorrow" and turned back to watch the next bit of the program! It is just amazing how all this stuff becomes part of life and how the kids adjust to it. On reflection keeping them fully informed of the treatment, complications etc was a really good decision and it has allowed us to share quite nice thoughtful conversations over these months. I guess in some ways we all want to appear to be strong and invincable to our childern but I think seeing me getting chemo and injecting myself, being tired and ill will probably be good for them in the long run helping them to understand that bad things do happen for no reason - and that people get sick and recover or sometimes do not.
On a good note I did take two hours out from work and medical stuff on Wednesday morning to have my first flying lesson. It was a fantastic day with blue sky and no wind giving us views for miles in every direction. I had done a glider flying course 20 years ago so once I got used to the plane I was able to fly it myself for 45 min of the hour I was up, in fact I got myself to the runway (with a lot of verbal help from the instructor of course but I was flying the plane) and then handed over to him at 100 feet for the actual landing. I was well pleased and I think that this may spell the end of the Aston Martin dream. Good news is I took the MG all the way to the airfield and back so the leak from the water pump is now confirmed to be cured. As part of giving up any real chance to own an Aston I did splash out on some new seats, carpets and a walnut dashboard for the MG interior so it might feel plush! I will keep the screen saver for nostigias sake I think.
Positive energy to all the family at home specially Norah and Kevin in their new house, we are thinking of you and hope you have great luck there.
So I am off to toss and turn in bed with my eassic tea, elephant painkillers and a book, having kept my hair I hope not to lose my fingernails at the last treatment (they are going brown underneath which may not be good, but at least they like hair can grow back). Learning from the last steroid shock, which you may have gathered led to some domestic strain as I tried to manically tidy out my garage into the house, I am going to concentrate on replacing the MG interior this saturday as I can obsess all by myself in the garage and Lee can survive by bringing the occasional cup of tea and retreating to the house.
Happy birthdays to Kevin in Ireland and Sarah around the corner for today 11 min ago !
Cheers
Gerry
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