I managed an unplanned day off radiotherapy yesterday as the machine was down for some sort of maintenance for the day. However it seemed to be making all the right whirring and clicking noises today when I was on the table so I guess they fixed it properly. As before the radiotherapy is still a pretty easy ride compared to the chemo regium however I am begining to notice a drop in my concentration and stamina levels now. Each evening I am sleeping about two hours more, which was predicted, and I can tell I am not myself by the pile of undone things such as bill and ferry bookings, axel rebuilds which are progressing at a much slower rate than I would manage if I was 100 percent. Never the less I am feeling fine if a little tired and a nap can always sort that out.
So today Lee, who is in a mad panic about her big exibition in Glasgow next week, has set off to Aberdeen for a few days rest in the forest (probably with mobile phone going constantly) I am feilding calls from journalists and scientists like a seceatary, and not a very good one at that, who all seem to want to speak to her for deadlines (three calls so far tonight as I write this blog). She has not yet succumbed to a hands free headset for her phone like me, but I see the day is not too far away. Unfortunatly, due to the daily visits to the hospital, I have been left behind to potter on my own - which actually I am looking forward to as I have been doing most of the parenting for a few weeks so a break when I can potter at my own speed and perhaps catch up on my backlog is a nice idea.
The kids were a little sceptical about going camping with mom as I have tended to be the one to take them camping in the past. Poppy had a long list of things she had to be reassured about like "who will take care of spiders", "who will light the fire" and "who will make sure trees dont fall on our heads when we cut them down". After answering the questions I did feel a bit more appreciated and useful than before.
Exercise has been a bit hit or miss over the last week as Lee was working so hard she would just get home in time for me to head off to the hospital so cycling was not on. Hopefully I will make up some time when she is away and I dont have the kids around, tonight I managed a jog around the park which was very nice in the great summer weather we are having here. Later tonight I am going to meet some friends for dinner in town and will look forward to the festival crowds building up. Lee has booked us some tickets for Sunday night to see Madonna in concert (which is OK now my immune system is back up to normal levels) I only hope that I do not fall asleep in the seat !
The axel has been properly dismantled now and all the bits are apart and being slowely painted, mostly by Holly, so that they can hold off rust for a few more years. The only bit I am stuck on is how to "press" the bearings off the half shaft and "press" the new ones on without damaging the splines on the shaft or the new bearings. I think I might visit the local garage and see if they will do that part of the job for me while I watch and learn. I then have to "drift" some bits together which I have discovered is not the gentle glide of a sailboat as I thought, but involves hitting things very hard with a rubber covered hammer to get them to go together. Perhaps "pressing" involves some big vice like contraption as pushing with thumbs, hands or hammer has not shifted anything so far.
In between this emails, conference calls and catching up on the daily paper will keep me amused between naps !
Cheers for now
Gerry
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Monday, July 24, 2006
Still zapping away
Today I got my third "zapping" after a break over the weekend and so far I have not felt any effects at all which is good, however it seems from talking to the doctor today that the effect of the radiotherapy is cumulative and the fatigue can get a bit stronger later in the treatment, even that would be fine compared to the trauma of chemotherapy.
Looking back on the chemo now, when I am not having to be tough and stay in the zone, is pretty scary. Quite a lot of the time I was really feeling pretty rough but trying to appear as normal as possible so we could all get on with our lives and not "suspend fun" for the months it took to complete that part of the treatment. Mentally it was hard to put out your hand to get the injection which you know was going to make you feel terrible for a week, and then go back and do it again. I think some form of denial is needed to get through all of that and not be miserable, which actually we managed quite well. There is no doubt that I am very very pleased that the chemo is over.
Radiotherapy treatment itself is pretty easy, everyone gets to know you quickly as you have to get the same thing done every day. It is a bit odd to be shifted around like a slab of meat by three young ladies who draw on you chest each day but the banter is good and they are friendly up to the point where they all scurry out of the way of the radiation. The machine shoots the radiation from three different angles and has to be alinged within a millimeter or so and checked after each zap to make sure I have not moved but the whole thing only takes about 15 min or so. That means I can leave the house around 3pm and be home for just before 5 pm.
The big challenge of the weekend was the disassembly of the rear axel of my MG which is now spread over the floor of the spare garage ready for cleaning and painting before being reassembled with the new differential sparkling in the middle. The usual amount of cursing huffing and puffing was required to get it apart as many of the nuts had not moved for 30 years but after two days of fairly casual work while doing other things as well it succumbed to the pressures of releasing oil, brute force and occasionally a blowtorch. Lets see how it goes back together once its painted before we celebrate.
One of the things I have learnt from my illness is to be a lot easier with myself than in the past, partly out of necessity and partly out of a general feeling of less urgency with task completion and more enjoyment of doing the task. Hence when I got a bit puffed out having managed to get one half shaft, bearing and oil seal levered out of the axel I came in had a cup of tea and decided to water the garden rather than get the other side done leaving that to the next day. The old me would not have backed off until the whole job was done. Well its done now and I enjoyed doing it much more by taking my time getting it done.
That can be my "thought for today" Sitting in the garden the other night we did list four things as key learnings from the experience, the other three were:
1 Wanting to spend good quality holiday time with Lee, Poppy and Holly when the children are still young.
2 A feeling that any of us can die or be incapacitated at any time so to do things now that we want to do, if we can afford to (still rules out the Aston).
3 I was surprised how much I missed the connections with my colleagues and how I am looking forward to seeing them all again in September.
No great philosophy there I am afraid, but the summary is I have enjoyed being here full time for a change and actually I am pretty happy with my life, just pleased to have more of it to look forward too !
Cheers for now
Gerry
Looking back on the chemo now, when I am not having to be tough and stay in the zone, is pretty scary. Quite a lot of the time I was really feeling pretty rough but trying to appear as normal as possible so we could all get on with our lives and not "suspend fun" for the months it took to complete that part of the treatment. Mentally it was hard to put out your hand to get the injection which you know was going to make you feel terrible for a week, and then go back and do it again. I think some form of denial is needed to get through all of that and not be miserable, which actually we managed quite well. There is no doubt that I am very very pleased that the chemo is over.
Radiotherapy treatment itself is pretty easy, everyone gets to know you quickly as you have to get the same thing done every day. It is a bit odd to be shifted around like a slab of meat by three young ladies who draw on you chest each day but the banter is good and they are friendly up to the point where they all scurry out of the way of the radiation. The machine shoots the radiation from three different angles and has to be alinged within a millimeter or so and checked after each zap to make sure I have not moved but the whole thing only takes about 15 min or so. That means I can leave the house around 3pm and be home for just before 5 pm.
The big challenge of the weekend was the disassembly of the rear axel of my MG which is now spread over the floor of the spare garage ready for cleaning and painting before being reassembled with the new differential sparkling in the middle. The usual amount of cursing huffing and puffing was required to get it apart as many of the nuts had not moved for 30 years but after two days of fairly casual work while doing other things as well it succumbed to the pressures of releasing oil, brute force and occasionally a blowtorch. Lets see how it goes back together once its painted before we celebrate.
One of the things I have learnt from my illness is to be a lot easier with myself than in the past, partly out of necessity and partly out of a general feeling of less urgency with task completion and more enjoyment of doing the task. Hence when I got a bit puffed out having managed to get one half shaft, bearing and oil seal levered out of the axel I came in had a cup of tea and decided to water the garden rather than get the other side done leaving that to the next day. The old me would not have backed off until the whole job was done. Well its done now and I enjoyed doing it much more by taking my time getting it done.
That can be my "thought for today" Sitting in the garden the other night we did list four things as key learnings from the experience, the other three were:
1 Wanting to spend good quality holiday time with Lee, Poppy and Holly when the children are still young.
2 A feeling that any of us can die or be incapacitated at any time so to do things now that we want to do, if we can afford to (still rules out the Aston).
3 I was surprised how much I missed the connections with my colleagues and how I am looking forward to seeing them all again in September.
No great philosophy there I am afraid, but the summary is I have enjoyed being here full time for a change and actually I am pretty happy with my life, just pleased to have more of it to look forward too !
Cheers for now
Gerry
Friday, July 21, 2006
First Zapping done
The big event of the day was the start of my radiotherapy treatment at the hospital. That turned out to be pretty easy and much less of a trauma than the chemotherapy. I turned up to the hospital 15min early and they took me right away straight into the treatment room where I had to lie out on a bed while they moved me around to get the alingment lasers on the machine and the tattos on my chest to line up. Once that was done they all got out of the way and the machine moved around me adjusting its shields and then applying the treatment. I was quite pleased to see that the shields are quite complex using interlocking rods to create a very exact shaped apature for the radiation which is adjusted for each angle to protect the heart as much as possible. In any case I did not feel a thing this first time and as I write this blog a day later I have not had any side affects.
As a precaution I am keeping up some light exercise, drinking lots of water and keeping up a vitamin regium to protect the heart as best as possible from damage. My plan to cycle to the hospital was not carried out as I left the bicycles in Aberdeen without thinking I needed one for the hospital run so today I think I will try walking to the hospital and jogging back (just because I dont want to be sweaty when the radiographers are drawing things under my armpits !).
Apart from that event everything else is going well, I had a flurry of work just ahead of the radiotherapy, including meeting with some colleagues in the UK which sorted out what I would focus on when I returned to full time work. Poppy has just had her birthday party which involved four of her friends staying for a sleepover, I ended up trying to get them to sleep at 2am, 3am and 4am so I was a bit of a grumpy Dad this morning as you might imagine. My friend Shaun came over last night to updated me on the gossip from work and we swapped tales of growing up families while enjoying the warm evening in the garden.
So overall things are going well here in Edinburgh, it looks like the radiotherapy will be an eaiser run than the trauma of chemo, the sun is shining, and the demands of work are a bit lower as colleagues take time off for their summer holidays.
Cheers for now
Gerry
As a precaution I am keeping up some light exercise, drinking lots of water and keeping up a vitamin regium to protect the heart as best as possible from damage. My plan to cycle to the hospital was not carried out as I left the bicycles in Aberdeen without thinking I needed one for the hospital run so today I think I will try walking to the hospital and jogging back (just because I dont want to be sweaty when the radiographers are drawing things under my armpits !).
Apart from that event everything else is going well, I had a flurry of work just ahead of the radiotherapy, including meeting with some colleagues in the UK which sorted out what I would focus on when I returned to full time work. Poppy has just had her birthday party which involved four of her friends staying for a sleepover, I ended up trying to get them to sleep at 2am, 3am and 4am so I was a bit of a grumpy Dad this morning as you might imagine. My friend Shaun came over last night to updated me on the gossip from work and we swapped tales of growing up families while enjoying the warm evening in the garden.
So overall things are going well here in Edinburgh, it looks like the radiotherapy will be an eaiser run than the trauma of chemo, the sun is shining, and the demands of work are a bit lower as colleagues take time off for their summer holidays.
Cheers for now
Gerry
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Idyllic break in the mountians
We just got back tonight from our holiday break up north and a great time was had by all. Initially we went to Lees parents cottage in the woods, set up the Mulligan family tent and spent our time cutting trees, making fires, and just enjoying the view of the hills. Lee was still working so myself holly and poppy joined in with the grandparents and had a nice time around our campfire. Lees parents house is in a wood with a small stream flowing by and you can walk out into the moorland and mountians so it is a fantastic place to camp as we have the backup of the cottage and yet have our own big tent in the woods and campfire. We left the campsite set up and will probably visit over the next few weeks, Lee and the girls may head up when I have to stay in Edinburgh for my daily radiotherapy treatments.
Once lee came up we had a few days together in the camp and then we headed off to Jim and Sarahs lodge at Loch rannoch in the highlands. I was looking forward to a wooden cabin with primitive facilities by the lakeside but the place was fantastic and as big as our flat overlooking the lake with lots of things to do in the surrounding area. As it happened some other friends, Pete and Jane, were staying nearby totally by accident so we had a great holidy. As we had three families together we were able to split up on different days to take care of those who wanted to go to the tea shop and those who wanted to climb a Munro (scottish mountian over 3000ft high for the US readers). My friend Jim climbed his first Munro and caught his first fish on the lake when "the Boys" went fishing and returned at 10pm with (my) large (3kg) trout which the whole family was able to have for a late tea. The good outcome was that all the boys managed to catch a fish over the two nights. Even little Collette the youngest of the group managed to climb a pretty impressive mountian overlooking Loch Rannoch. So a great time was had by all, my stamina has been really built up just in time for the radiotherapy and I no longer need to sleep in the afternoons.
So this week is planned for some work activity starting on sunday night through to tuesday then I go in for the "set up" session of the radiotherapy. The radiotherapy should take about 3 weeks and I should be able to catch up on some work during that period, once it is over the kids and I will set off for Donegal and I will build up my strenght for getting back to work at the end of August.
So I will let you know how the radiotherapy set up works out on tuesday and what the final timetable is for the treatments. We are all chilled out an relaxed here I hope your holidays are going just as well.
Cheers
Gerry
Thanks to Jim and Sarah
Once lee came up we had a few days together in the camp and then we headed off to Jim and Sarahs lodge at Loch rannoch in the highlands. I was looking forward to a wooden cabin with primitive facilities by the lakeside but the place was fantastic and as big as our flat overlooking the lake with lots of things to do in the surrounding area. As it happened some other friends, Pete and Jane, were staying nearby totally by accident so we had a great holidy. As we had three families together we were able to split up on different days to take care of those who wanted to go to the tea shop and those who wanted to climb a Munro (scottish mountian over 3000ft high for the US readers). My friend Jim climbed his first Munro and caught his first fish on the lake when "the Boys" went fishing and returned at 10pm with (my) large (3kg) trout which the whole family was able to have for a late tea. The good outcome was that all the boys managed to catch a fish over the two nights. Even little Collette the youngest of the group managed to climb a pretty impressive mountian overlooking Loch Rannoch. So a great time was had by all, my stamina has been really built up just in time for the radiotherapy and I no longer need to sleep in the afternoons.
So this week is planned for some work activity starting on sunday night through to tuesday then I go in for the "set up" session of the radiotherapy. The radiotherapy should take about 3 weeks and I should be able to catch up on some work during that period, once it is over the kids and I will set off for Donegal and I will build up my strenght for getting back to work at the end of August.
So I will let you know how the radiotherapy set up works out on tuesday and what the final timetable is for the treatments. We are all chilled out an relaxed here I hope your holidays are going just as well.
Cheers
Gerry
Thanks to Jim and Sarah
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Plans fail in a nice way
As expected I could not muster enough energy to repair the back axel of the car in time for the trip down the A68 to see Neville so the boring family wagon was used instead. In reality that worked out well as it allowed me to listen to the agonising end of the England game on the radio which I would have not been able to do in the MG. I was sad for the England team as they played well and to go out on penalties is always disappointing. However the drive down to the south of Edinburgh on the old A68 is one of the nicest in the UK, but not covered in speed cameras which means you have to stick strictly to the speed limit (which actually helps enjoy the views).
It was nice to see Neville again as we had not met up since I had been in Hong Kong so we had some dinner and sat in the garden watching the sun set, Neville has a great view over rolling countryside which looks directy to the setting sun. We then watched "Shaun of the dead" which is a kind of cult british comedy movie which Neville loves and I had not seen. A few glasses of red wine were consumed and lots of good chat resulted though Neville complained of a sore head this morning.
Today off to the car show to help the team set up the stands, ribbed as expected by the guys in the club for not getting my car there but it was a super summer day so I enjoyed looking around the cars with some buddies and comparing notes on the merits of Weber vs SU carbs etc. After the drive up and down I did have a sneak sleep for a couple of hours but I think the fatigue is gradually lifting, I think as I am eating well my digestive system is stabilising and that is giving me more energy. Hopefully in a week or two things should be more normal.
Tomorrow I am off to work for the morning as a colleague is visiting from Germany, poor man has started working for my team a few months ago and has only met me once, so its worth making the effort to talk through his plans for the next six months. On tuesday we hope to set off on our camping trip to the cottage Lee's parents have near Balmoral up north, I will go up with the kids first and Lee will join us once she has finished some work she has to do.
So there may not be too much blogging over the next two weeks
Cheers
Gerry
It was nice to see Neville again as we had not met up since I had been in Hong Kong so we had some dinner and sat in the garden watching the sun set, Neville has a great view over rolling countryside which looks directy to the setting sun. We then watched "Shaun of the dead" which is a kind of cult british comedy movie which Neville loves and I had not seen. A few glasses of red wine were consumed and lots of good chat resulted though Neville complained of a sore head this morning.
Today off to the car show to help the team set up the stands, ribbed as expected by the guys in the club for not getting my car there but it was a super summer day so I enjoyed looking around the cars with some buddies and comparing notes on the merits of Weber vs SU carbs etc. After the drive up and down I did have a sneak sleep for a couple of hours but I think the fatigue is gradually lifting, I think as I am eating well my digestive system is stabilising and that is giving me more energy. Hopefully in a week or two things should be more normal.
Tomorrow I am off to work for the morning as a colleague is visiting from Germany, poor man has started working for my team a few months ago and has only met me once, so its worth making the effort to talk through his plans for the next six months. On tuesday we hope to set off on our camping trip to the cottage Lee's parents have near Balmoral up north, I will go up with the kids first and Lee will join us once she has finished some work she has to do.
So there may not be too much blogging over the next two weeks
Cheers
Gerry
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