Today I got my third "zapping" after a break over the weekend and so far I have not felt any effects at all which is good, however it seems from talking to the doctor today that the effect of the radiotherapy is cumulative and the fatigue can get a bit stronger later in the treatment, even that would be fine compared to the trauma of chemotherapy.
Looking back on the chemo now, when I am not having to be tough and stay in the zone, is pretty scary. Quite a lot of the time I was really feeling pretty rough but trying to appear as normal as possible so we could all get on with our lives and not "suspend fun" for the months it took to complete that part of the treatment. Mentally it was hard to put out your hand to get the injection which you know was going to make you feel terrible for a week, and then go back and do it again. I think some form of denial is needed to get through all of that and not be miserable, which actually we managed quite well. There is no doubt that I am very very pleased that the chemo is over.
Radiotherapy treatment itself is pretty easy, everyone gets to know you quickly as you have to get the same thing done every day. It is a bit odd to be shifted around like a slab of meat by three young ladies who draw on you chest each day but the banter is good and they are friendly up to the point where they all scurry out of the way of the radiation. The machine shoots the radiation from three different angles and has to be alinged within a millimeter or so and checked after each zap to make sure I have not moved but the whole thing only takes about 15 min or so. That means I can leave the house around 3pm and be home for just before 5 pm.
The big challenge of the weekend was the disassembly of the rear axel of my MG which is now spread over the floor of the spare garage ready for cleaning and painting before being reassembled with the new differential sparkling in the middle. The usual amount of cursing huffing and puffing was required to get it apart as many of the nuts had not moved for 30 years but after two days of fairly casual work while doing other things as well it succumbed to the pressures of releasing oil, brute force and occasionally a blowtorch. Lets see how it goes back together once its painted before we celebrate.
One of the things I have learnt from my illness is to be a lot easier with myself than in the past, partly out of necessity and partly out of a general feeling of less urgency with task completion and more enjoyment of doing the task. Hence when I got a bit puffed out having managed to get one half shaft, bearing and oil seal levered out of the axel I came in had a cup of tea and decided to water the garden rather than get the other side done leaving that to the next day. The old me would not have backed off until the whole job was done. Well its done now and I enjoyed doing it much more by taking my time getting it done.
That can be my "thought for today" Sitting in the garden the other night we did list four things as key learnings from the experience, the other three were:
1 Wanting to spend good quality holiday time with Lee, Poppy and Holly when the children are still young.
2 A feeling that any of us can die or be incapacitated at any time so to do things now that we want to do, if we can afford to (still rules out the Aston).
3 I was surprised how much I missed the connections with my colleagues and how I am looking forward to seeing them all again in September.
No great philosophy there I am afraid, but the summary is I have enjoyed being here full time for a change and actually I am pretty happy with my life, just pleased to have more of it to look forward too !
Cheers for now
Gerry
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