After continuing the tone of the previous blog, by taking a day off and hiding under the duvet for a few hours this morning I eventually kicked myself out of bed and walked to the doctors to organise a sick note and discuss support over the next few months. That was the start of the turning point in my mood, the sky was blue and the folks in the park were jogging or strolling around, I stopped for a coffee and the girl in the kiosk was really pleasant asking me how I was (non-committal reply from me) and what I had on for the day. It cheered up my mood greatly so I walked back had lunch and set to sorting out the house, getting my cancer books and audio tapes out, buying vitamins and minerals to restart my diet, and generally starting to get organised.
By the time it came to pick up the kids from school I was in good form again and the bleakness of yesterday was beginning to fade. I had to take poppy to the shop to get a new top for her friend Lucy's disco, which is taking place now in the church hall beside our house, I wandered over with the digital camera and in the background now I am downloading the shots to email to Jim and Sarah. Poppy and Holly are enjoying the fun, going to a disco with boys is a cause for lots of gossip for Poppy at her sleepover tonight. I stayed only for a little while as I did not want to cramp her style too much by hanging around.
In between times I have had a good chat with my other friend Jim and the boys rugby watching group will be getting together this week for a pint before I am chemoed, my two brothers came on at the same time and we had a good chat about the treatment, Philip seems to have done even more research than me at the moment. So overall moods are lifting, social and family teams are reconfiguring into the great supportive mode we had before, and I am getting my own head around the challenge while still having fun. So things are looking up and we have a nice weekend of events to look forward to including a night out with our friends Nick and Bernise so that might be a a bit of an evening !
As an update I have found some research from the Mayo center in the USA which is claiming a 90 percent successful outcome as long as the disease recurrs in the lymph nodes, which we think mine has, and its within 12 months of the end of the previous treatment which mine is ! Those are odds I can deal with and are actually pretty similiar to those I faced the first time around. The downside is the fatal rate is about 6% so its a kind of russian roulette situation with a lot more chambers in the gun. Mind you to put this in perspective I am sure the deal for open heart bypass surgery is pretty close, so its a major procedure, and it can go wrong, but the odds are on my side still in comparison to many other poor souls who have cancers which are much more difficult to treat, medical advances are a great thing !
So that leaves me in a positive mood, with good hope for the future and the desire to enjoy things over the next few weeks ahead of the deep dive into chemo.
Holly and Collette are tucked up in the living room, sleeping for the night in a den Holly has made for them of blankets, bookcases and sofa backs - camping with central heating - and I just opened a nice card from Jim and Sarah, Collettes parents, who are hosting the other girls and thinking of me. Respect to you guys as you have to deal with beautiful and innocent Collettes problem with Crohns disease, and yet you think of us, its great to have such good friends.
Kids taking their first steps to adulthood, cats and younger kids curled up in the front room, good wishes and good chat with friends and brothers, and 90 percent from the mayo clinic - not quite a Lou Reed perfect day, but good enough for me.
Cheers
Gerry
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4 comments:
In bed watching Nasa TV and the count down for the launch of the Discovery space shuttle with first Swedish astronaut ever. Malin and me equally fascinated about it, but she has fallen asleep. Reading your latest posts while waiting for take off is an emotional roller coaster but it makes me appreciate life even more and also what modern medicine can do. My vote is on you!
Cheers,
Jens
As you know, Mayo Clinic is about 100 miles from here. Should a visit there be in the cards, you and Lee will have tons of support on the ground.
Bill
Hi Bill,
Thanks for the offer but we are fortunate that our old friend John Ansell was professor of onocology in Edinburgh and his team were one of the first developers of this technique, he still knows the guys who will be treating me and has a lot of confidence in them and the ability of the lab in Edinburgh. Their results should be comparable to the Mayo onese which is great.
However could be a cunning excuse for some walleye fishing - probably would not get away with that one as I guess the lakes are about frozen by now up there.
Cheers
Gerry
Hi Jens,
Thanks for the comments! We really appreciate them. When I was Holly's age I wanted to be a spacewoman but I was really travel sick in my dad's car....and was worried about being sick in the goldfish bowl helmet (not a good one to visualise I know)D id you get the Moondust book by Andrew Smith?
PS This is Lee, in case you think Gerry has some gender identity issues
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