Still OK over here

I took a few days off to let Lee have a shot at blogging (she is much better at it than me really) but some of you got concerned so this is just a post to say everything is actually OK here, I am feeling fine and have managed to work for the last two days pretty much 8am to 4pm, even back to jogging, gently, again.

I am not expecting significant updates in the next week so no blog means no problem for future reference. I managed to get the diagnosis post onto the link on the side as a lot of folk are reading this for the first time and that is a better place to start, tonight I will try to get the background stuff on Hodgkins over there too. If you are a new reader go to Feb archive to see the start of the blog and the background until I can get the link fixed.

On a totally prosaic note, because in reality life goes on, this last two days I have been mostly working on our compensation process. In Gore we have a very intensive system which takes the views of all associates in a group in making a rounded estimate of the relative contribution of each member to the success of our enterprise, with suggestions for improvement. Once we discuss and debate how each person is doing and how they can improve we "rank" the associates in order of contribution (you get to step out of the room when you are discussed). Finally, a smaller sub-group of experienced associates decide on pay, with this ranking as the major factor considered. So, in reality, with appropiate checks and balances to ensure fairness, our associates collectivily determine how well any one person is paid, and this in turn should bear a direct relationship, over time, to how much they contribute to the success of Gore. Its great to be able to still take part in these discussions as about half my working time is now spent on associate development and these forums are a great place to see how the folks I coach are really doing in the eyes of colleagues and internal customers (I will bore you all with Gore stuff from time to time, that was this weeks installment, but this sort of stuff is why we do so well as a company)

I am still learning lots each day about how this illness affects life in many unexpected ways, for instance it really helps other friends talk about their own problems and concerns, either personal or family. We have had a number of people, perhaps who are not very close to me personally, suddenly burst into tears at hearing the news and we have discovered that they have themselves some significant issues or concern just under the surface. Another effect is a lot of friends going to the doctors for check ups on issues they were putting off, which by the way is good advice as I nearly did not bother with the check up that caught this. More expensive is the "live life fully reaction", one close friend, John, told me today has gone out and bought a BMW M5 on the basis that "you only live once enjoy it while you can" brought on by my news (perhaps he just needed an excuse for his wife..). Good news is I am promised a test drive, lets hope its round Knockhill !

I had a lot of chats with friends who have just revealed that they have themselves been through chemotherapy, or who have family in the same situation. Its been very energising and a bit saddening to realise how common cancer is, and how many people go through all the ups and downs we are just working through, and still emerge from the other side, in many cases strengthened and more balanced. Its a bit humbling to realise just how many people have coped quietly with much more serious situations, just like seeing the young people smiling in the chemo ward last week. So while we find it good therapy to write things out in this blog, respect and admiration to all of you who cope or have coped in your own quieter way, and hopefully you dont mind too much the theraputic indulgence of these pages, I do really understand that many of you have been through much, much worse.

What has made this "sieze the day" feeling even more real to us is that Lee's friends partner died suddenly just a few weeks ago, with no warning, of a heart problem. She was a similiar age to us with a young family and both our families went walking for a day and had dinner together just days before, so its been a very sad and disturbing time. It very much reminded us of Campbell, Brids husband who passed away in similiar circumstances five or so years ago.

So I guess thats enough deep stuff for one night, we are off to our local italian resturant which Holly calls "pizza mans" but is actually called Genaros for some nice food, we still have to eat, and still do not have an operational kitchen, so eating out or microwave are our main choices for the next week. Hopefully we are near the end of that project and we can tell already that it will make a real difference to the flat to have a nice family kitchen. As usual the kids will bring us down to earth with earnest discussions about what Poppy should do about a friend who is flirting "outrageously" with her possible boyfriend, and how much Holly will get from the tooth fairy if her wobbly tooth finally falls out.....7 is a much more mercanary age in some ways.

Cheers for today

Gerry