For those of you who chance on this blog, perhaps because you have yourself started down the Hodgkins journey I thought it would be good to add in the occasional short update. It used to frustrate me when I read blogs from other sufferers which just stopped, but I am not intending to maintain the blog in any serious way so friends and relations will just have to revert to picking up the phone or email in the normal way.
In summary things are going very well, I have returned to work full time and have been consumed in a whirlwind of activity since I started back in August. This fully justified taking the time to get well properly before I returned and this has paid dividends since. I have not suffered any side effects of note and feel just as fit and nearly as energetic as I did in the past. Sometimes I do not have the same stamina as I used to have, but that only means I am a bit more normal and appreciative of others than I was!
Family life is pottering along as usual, Lee is very busy with her company and a promotion in her institute (not to mention tap dancing and wine tasting hobbies). My return to work and constant travelling for work has put a real load on her which we hope will get better if I can get a European based job early next year. Poppy continues to sing and excell at drama while Holly is charging over jumps on her horses both seem contented at school and have good friends so all the other small boundary testing which goes on is easily bearable.
Probably my next big medical milestone will be the scan around March which will check for the possible return of the cancer. I have had the two clear scans already so we have a lot of hope that it will be clear, but some worry occasionally when driving home at night that it might not be, fingers crossed on that one.
We plan an idylic holiday with Christmas at home just with the family and then New Year on a scottish island with some good friends, we all need the rest after this last year and plan to have a very relaxing time by some nice real fires without email or phone connections.
I hope you all are doing well, if you are reading this because you are in treatment take heart and be strong, there are a lot of happy stories out there. Every day the sun comes up and I see it is a blessing.
Cheers
Gerry
Monday, December 17, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
The Second end of Gerryscancerdiary
Seems like we have been here before on August 20th 2006 when I rather prematurely announced the first end of gerryscancerdiary, little was I to know that only three months later I would be facing a doctor and "we've got a problem", the problem being as you all now know that the usually successful treatment did not work. That was a real kick in the face, of the type you do not want too many of in any one lifetime, and came with a 40 percent survival tag that I did not like one bit as that moved me from the "probably be all right" team to the "probably will not be all right" team, so some dark days followed.
The dark days were tougher because all I learnt about the treatment was pretty scary. Having already been sick on and off for a year, I thought it was fair and necessary for me to give up my current jobs at Gore, so the teams would not be leaderless for a further year and so I could concentrate all my energy on the treatment. In essence while the first treatment I tackled as an inconvenience, which I could work through and be out of pretty fast, this next treatment was going to take all of my focus and even then was a 50/50 deal. Even if I got out the other side the damage to my body could be considerable and reasonably long lasting.
What a change since then....
In reality colleagues picked up the work at Gore smoothly and have grown and developed as a result, we buckled down mentally in our own ways, Lee used the statistically most successful strategy of denial and distraction with the Monster bike and hike and starting her business. I once again developed an obsessive interest in the treatment I was going to receive and the stories of other bloggers who had been through the same thing, the "full immersion" technique which studies show is the second most promising strategy after denial.
Once I got into the treatment I had researched the side effects and symptoms and coping strategies so well that I had a really "bring it on" head on, somewhat deflated when on the first day there was a problem with the chemo so I was sent home for dinner! Never the less the treatment was pretty ugly, but my experience was very much more positive than many of the others who were in with me, and I got through, partly because I was expecting much worse. I felt so relieved when my transplanted immune system started to work and I could escape home to warm soup and comfort in my "den" upstairs. I nearly broke the record for getting out of hospital and was determined to push myself to get better.
At this stage I could do a lot with food, walking, exercising and resting well to help my body recover and prevent dangerous infections. I was lucky that this worked out well, and I had some good advice and support from the hospital and friends on how hard to push. Fortunately I continued to surprise the doctors in a positive way, and now following a clear scan, which we waited for with some nervousness as you can tell from the post a few days ago. So now all is well, I have negotiated, mostly through good progress on the fitness front, the doctors back from October to the end of August to restart work and am keen to get back to the interesting work and many friends I have in Gore. Until my next scan in a year or so I am free to live life normally for a change, avoiding exotic infections and places with poor hospitals for a year being part of the deal.
We have a week in Ireland still to come before the start back, me to work and Poppy to senior school. I shall miss elements of being at home, specially the way I have become much more integrated into the kids life over the summer, but in all honesty I am happy to hang up my cooks apron, skip the solitary training in the gym, and put away the vacuum cleaner, with few regrets. I will need to work out how to fit some pretty solid exercise routine into my working day, the lunchtime running club may have a new recruit at the plant.
So once again, and hopefully for the last time, I would like to thank all of our friends, family and colleagues who have managed to make our cancer experience a journey of discovery, friendship, warmth, support and even quite a bit of fun at times. I have no idea why I am here and seemingly recovered, while so many are still sick or worse, though luck and chemistry has much more to do with it than attitude or any merit on my part. Those latter things help folk cope, which is really important, but have minimal or no effect on the outcome. Sadly the biggest learning is that sometimes the bullet has your name on it and sometimes it doesn't. Equally I do not know, as you all do not know, how my health will be in future years. All the poisons and chemicals and radiation basically half my life expectancy, but that's just an average, and a lot of folk fully recover. I think I will stack the odds in my favour with exercise etc while still having fun as much as possible in the meantime, just in case.
So as I get out my calender and think about holidays, car shows, weekends away and treats - things which have been out of my mind for a long time, I hope you also check the balance of your own time, sometimes you get a second chance, as I have, but sometimes your time is up, use it wisely.
As the point of this blog was to communicate with family and friends efficiently during my treatment, saving the repetition and phone calls so that a relatively normal life could be lived between treatments, and as the treatment is successful, this should be my last post on the blog while I continue to be healthy. Part of returning to normal life is returning to normal communication channels so I will have to learn to phone and email again one on one. That will be good too.
So hopefully, there it is, the end once again. I thank you all again and I wish you all once again every blessing in the world, and the strength to deal with the adversity that life will throw your way with good humour and perspective.
Cheers
Gerry
The dark days were tougher because all I learnt about the treatment was pretty scary. Having already been sick on and off for a year, I thought it was fair and necessary for me to give up my current jobs at Gore, so the teams would not be leaderless for a further year and so I could concentrate all my energy on the treatment. In essence while the first treatment I tackled as an inconvenience, which I could work through and be out of pretty fast, this next treatment was going to take all of my focus and even then was a 50/50 deal. Even if I got out the other side the damage to my body could be considerable and reasonably long lasting.
What a change since then....
In reality colleagues picked up the work at Gore smoothly and have grown and developed as a result, we buckled down mentally in our own ways, Lee used the statistically most successful strategy of denial and distraction with the Monster bike and hike and starting her business. I once again developed an obsessive interest in the treatment I was going to receive and the stories of other bloggers who had been through the same thing, the "full immersion" technique which studies show is the second most promising strategy after denial.
Once I got into the treatment I had researched the side effects and symptoms and coping strategies so well that I had a really "bring it on" head on, somewhat deflated when on the first day there was a problem with the chemo so I was sent home for dinner! Never the less the treatment was pretty ugly, but my experience was very much more positive than many of the others who were in with me, and I got through, partly because I was expecting much worse. I felt so relieved when my transplanted immune system started to work and I could escape home to warm soup and comfort in my "den" upstairs. I nearly broke the record for getting out of hospital and was determined to push myself to get better.
At this stage I could do a lot with food, walking, exercising and resting well to help my body recover and prevent dangerous infections. I was lucky that this worked out well, and I had some good advice and support from the hospital and friends on how hard to push. Fortunately I continued to surprise the doctors in a positive way, and now following a clear scan, which we waited for with some nervousness as you can tell from the post a few days ago. So now all is well, I have negotiated, mostly through good progress on the fitness front, the doctors back from October to the end of August to restart work and am keen to get back to the interesting work and many friends I have in Gore. Until my next scan in a year or so I am free to live life normally for a change, avoiding exotic infections and places with poor hospitals for a year being part of the deal.
We have a week in Ireland still to come before the start back, me to work and Poppy to senior school. I shall miss elements of being at home, specially the way I have become much more integrated into the kids life over the summer, but in all honesty I am happy to hang up my cooks apron, skip the solitary training in the gym, and put away the vacuum cleaner, with few regrets. I will need to work out how to fit some pretty solid exercise routine into my working day, the lunchtime running club may have a new recruit at the plant.
So once again, and hopefully for the last time, I would like to thank all of our friends, family and colleagues who have managed to make our cancer experience a journey of discovery, friendship, warmth, support and even quite a bit of fun at times. I have no idea why I am here and seemingly recovered, while so many are still sick or worse, though luck and chemistry has much more to do with it than attitude or any merit on my part. Those latter things help folk cope, which is really important, but have minimal or no effect on the outcome. Sadly the biggest learning is that sometimes the bullet has your name on it and sometimes it doesn't. Equally I do not know, as you all do not know, how my health will be in future years. All the poisons and chemicals and radiation basically half my life expectancy, but that's just an average, and a lot of folk fully recover. I think I will stack the odds in my favour with exercise etc while still having fun as much as possible in the meantime, just in case.
So as I get out my calender and think about holidays, car shows, weekends away and treats - things which have been out of my mind for a long time, I hope you also check the balance of your own time, sometimes you get a second chance, as I have, but sometimes your time is up, use it wisely.
As the point of this blog was to communicate with family and friends efficiently during my treatment, saving the repetition and phone calls so that a relatively normal life could be lived between treatments, and as the treatment is successful, this should be my last post on the blog while I continue to be healthy. Part of returning to normal life is returning to normal communication channels so I will have to learn to phone and email again one on one. That will be good too.
So hopefully, there it is, the end once again. I thank you all again and I wish you all once again every blessing in the world, and the strength to deal with the adversity that life will throw your way with good humour and perspective.
Cheers
Gerry
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Clear Scan
As is obvious from the title the results of the scan have come back clear and I am very much relieved. The primary tumour still has some harmless residual scar tissue as before but the three lymph nodes which developed cancer in the relapse are all back to normal size. So that is essentially the end of my cancer treatment, and it has been successful. From here on in I am on a watch list, with regular annual scans to look for signs of its return or other consequences of the treatment which can develop. As long as these stay clear then I can live a normal life again, starting with my planned return to work on August 23rd. I will post a bit of a longer update, probably my final update on the blog, later, for now I just wanted to get the key news out as I know a few of you were sitting with your fingers crossed for me!
Cheers
Gerry
Cheers
Gerry
Elastic Time
Evening Bloggers,
A minor miracle of unpredicted keyboard dexterity not warranted at all this evening (for various reasons). Today is a day of elastic time where everything is defined and colours are vivid and time stretches.......mental photographic moments.
Awaiting results...
Have had good time out recently! Highlight the golden wedding celebs at the weekend at the cottage. S and G Khan 50 years married! Dad had brought out photos of the wedding which the children really enjoyed...cousin/neice Frankie quote " Grandma was really HOT!"
You cannot have too much champagne or too much space. I love space and always wanted to be an astronaut but was worried about travel sickness and the confinements of that space helmet.
Loved camping at the cottage, loved the sound of the rain on the tent and the sunlight in the morning and the sounds of the wood.
I'm off to the roof now to enjoy the full moon over Capomaestro towers! Tim by the way I think the 3 peaks should be the next challenge!
L
Lee and I have been out tonight for dinner, and too many drinks, and are listening to Motzart with the windows on the roof fully open and the moon shining down on us as the beautiful music fills the air. Sarah and Jim have the kids for the evening and we are in limbo waiting on the annoucnement from the medics tomorrow, my friend Neville introduced me to Requiem and to this day I feel it is the most complete musical composition I have ever heard. One time there was a Typhoon in Japan, where I was working, and this was on the car stereo when I stopped and watched the lighting crash into the paddy fields as I could not drive in the downpour. These are moments that define, one way or another, our life.
In the last months I have become reluctant to post much on the blog, as it seems that things will probably be OK, whatever that means, but for sure it is different from short term death, which was the alternative.
This evening, in the spirit of the blog which was to be honest and create a record of my feelings about the situation, I am scared and apprehensive about tomorrow, I hope that Dr Scott will confirm the expected result of an all clear scan, but I am scared about my own strength if that is not the case, which is just as likley as the last time I more confidently and arrogantly faced this situation. Humility is a lesson learned in the fire of reality and I have learnt this lesson.
I hope and feel things will be OK tomorrow, I wish for it to be true or confirmed, but in reality this last year has taught me that the beauty of Motzart is still beautiful, camping in Logie Coldstone where Hollly and Poppy rescued the camp fire from embers can never be bought or sold, every day that we live, and all the people we touch and warm are privilages to be treasured and held close.
Lee has decided that she wants to go to the moon before she dies, and has instructed me to say so in the blog - I think I should pay less attention to the computer and more to her....
Anyway hopefully I will post tomorrow on the result, which the medics are confident about, and then normal life can take over from blogworld, chemo, IV plumbing, hospitals and big scanners, for how long no one knows, but every day of it will be precious, of that you can be sure.
Hence time to stop typing and live
Cheers
Gerry
A minor miracle of unpredicted keyboard dexterity not warranted at all this evening (for various reasons). Today is a day of elastic time where everything is defined and colours are vivid and time stretches.......mental photographic moments.
Awaiting results...
Have had good time out recently! Highlight the golden wedding celebs at the weekend at the cottage. S and G Khan 50 years married! Dad had brought out photos of the wedding which the children really enjoyed...cousin/neice Frankie quote " Grandma was really HOT!"
You cannot have too much champagne or too much space. I love space and always wanted to be an astronaut but was worried about travel sickness and the confinements of that space helmet.
Loved camping at the cottage, loved the sound of the rain on the tent and the sunlight in the morning and the sounds of the wood.
I'm off to the roof now to enjoy the full moon over Capomaestro towers! Tim by the way I think the 3 peaks should be the next challenge!
L
Lee and I have been out tonight for dinner, and too many drinks, and are listening to Motzart with the windows on the roof fully open and the moon shining down on us as the beautiful music fills the air. Sarah and Jim have the kids for the evening and we are in limbo waiting on the annoucnement from the medics tomorrow, my friend Neville introduced me to Requiem and to this day I feel it is the most complete musical composition I have ever heard. One time there was a Typhoon in Japan, where I was working, and this was on the car stereo when I stopped and watched the lighting crash into the paddy fields as I could not drive in the downpour. These are moments that define, one way or another, our life.
In the last months I have become reluctant to post much on the blog, as it seems that things will probably be OK, whatever that means, but for sure it is different from short term death, which was the alternative.
This evening, in the spirit of the blog which was to be honest and create a record of my feelings about the situation, I am scared and apprehensive about tomorrow, I hope that Dr Scott will confirm the expected result of an all clear scan, but I am scared about my own strength if that is not the case, which is just as likley as the last time I more confidently and arrogantly faced this situation. Humility is a lesson learned in the fire of reality and I have learnt this lesson.
I hope and feel things will be OK tomorrow, I wish for it to be true or confirmed, but in reality this last year has taught me that the beauty of Motzart is still beautiful, camping in Logie Coldstone where Hollly and Poppy rescued the camp fire from embers can never be bought or sold, every day that we live, and all the people we touch and warm are privilages to be treasured and held close.
Lee has decided that she wants to go to the moon before she dies, and has instructed me to say so in the blog - I think I should pay less attention to the computer and more to her....
Anyway hopefully I will post tomorrow on the result, which the medics are confident about, and then normal life can take over from blogworld, chemo, IV plumbing, hospitals and big scanners, for how long no one knows, but every day of it will be precious, of that you can be sure.
Hence time to stop typing and live
Cheers
Gerry
Friday, July 13, 2007
Loch Rannoch
This week my get fit campaign has taken a step up as the whole family set up camp at Jim and Sarah's lodge at Loch Rannoch. The plan at the moment is to push hard to build up stamina and to challenge my body with small infections to exercise my immune system. This has taken the form of fishing from a boat on the lake for a day, climbing a monroe (3000ft mountian) called Ben Lawers with the kids including the youngest, cycling round the lake (23miles) a couple of times and fishing a river for the day. With all this exercise comes a barrage of insect bites, scratches and fatigue which is testing me pretty well, so far all the damage seems to amount to one sore elbow due to over use of a heavy casting rod and some aching muscles in my legs from the trips round the loch on the bike.
I have also managed to fit in a couple of phone calls to colleagues who I may be working with when I return to Gore in four weeks or so, this all seems pretty positive and interesting so my mind is starting to exercise in that direction as I cycle or fish my way back into rude good health. One of the good developments in this year is that the kids have got to an age where they can climb up the mountians under their own steam and land a fish without my help. Poppy is very keen to get a fish of her own having seen Jim and I land fish in the boat but so far has not had the luck, we will see if another session today in lighter winds can get her anything.
Next week we are moving to a cottage near Skye in a village called Applecross which is on the beach, this is a pretty remote spot so my mobile internet access might not work. The plan is for beach jogging or coastal cycling to keep the fitness program going while the kids build sandcastles and we do a bit of fishing off the coast. So we hope you are all well, the final stages of the recovery program are going well and providing some great fun holiday memories for us all.
Cheers
Gerry
I have also managed to fit in a couple of phone calls to colleagues who I may be working with when I return to Gore in four weeks or so, this all seems pretty positive and interesting so my mind is starting to exercise in that direction as I cycle or fish my way back into rude good health. One of the good developments in this year is that the kids have got to an age where they can climb up the mountians under their own steam and land a fish without my help. Poppy is very keen to get a fish of her own having seen Jim and I land fish in the boat but so far has not had the luck, we will see if another session today in lighter winds can get her anything.
Next week we are moving to a cottage near Skye in a village called Applecross which is on the beach, this is a pretty remote spot so my mobile internet access might not work. The plan is for beach jogging or coastal cycling to keep the fitness program going while the kids build sandcastles and we do a bit of fishing off the coast. So we hope you are all well, the final stages of the recovery program are going well and providing some great fun holiday memories for us all.
Cheers
Gerry
Monday, July 02, 2007
Camping in the rain
The weather continues to be wet and cold here in Scotland somehow summer has not yet really arrived, never the less I set off camping with Holly for a few days last week to further test my stamina and immune system. Thankfully both held up well for the three days though I did sleep until 11am one morning after overdoing it sawing wood for the fire the previous day.
We set up camp in the woods near Lee's parents cottage, this is a great place for us as the kids can roam around the woods and the streams safely, we can do things that we would not be able to do in a regular campsite like have a wood fire, cut down dead trees, build bridges over streams etc. Its an excellent place for Holly to push the boundaries by going off exploring and joining in all the work of the camp. In addition the grandparents get to see a good lot of us and can spoil us with cooked breakfasts when we are too lazy to start the fire in the morning.
The weather was mixed but we did not mind and in some ways reading books at night while the rain fell on the tent was a bonding time for us. I find when I am away on a trip with one of the girls we chat a lot more than when we are away as a family which I really enjoy.
I had to go looking for my comb the other day as my hair has got to the point where it sticks out on the side I sleep ! So combs, shampoo and razors are all back in my life after a gap of three months in many ways the baldy look was a lot easier to maintain.
My other treat for the week was getting driven round a race circuit in a new Aston Martin Vantage by one of Astons test drivers, very scary, I have been convinced once again that I could not drive as fast as a proper race driver, they just brake impossibly late from 100+mph straights and fling cars sideways through corners all four wheels squealing in protest yet just hit the apex of the corner every time, amazing!
The medical report continues to be fine, the doctors are now encouraging me to go gardening and camping to get small infections as part of getting my immune system exercised and remembering how to defend my body, so far it has thrown off some sniffles and tummy bugs pretty quickly so I am feeling a lot fitter than even a few weeks ago. We are now setting up for a few weeks of travel, next week to Loch Rannoch for some hillwalking, the following week to Applecross near Skye for beach walks etc and finally a week at the campsite in Aberdeen though that last week will be broken up for me as I have to return to Edinburgh for my scan and to meet the new First Minister of Scotland for breakfast, Alex Salmond, on behalf of Gore.
So all continues to be well, any suggestions for Alex let me know in the comments!
Cheers
Gerry
We set up camp in the woods near Lee's parents cottage, this is a great place for us as the kids can roam around the woods and the streams safely, we can do things that we would not be able to do in a regular campsite like have a wood fire, cut down dead trees, build bridges over streams etc. Its an excellent place for Holly to push the boundaries by going off exploring and joining in all the work of the camp. In addition the grandparents get to see a good lot of us and can spoil us with cooked breakfasts when we are too lazy to start the fire in the morning.
The weather was mixed but we did not mind and in some ways reading books at night while the rain fell on the tent was a bonding time for us. I find when I am away on a trip with one of the girls we chat a lot more than when we are away as a family which I really enjoy.
I had to go looking for my comb the other day as my hair has got to the point where it sticks out on the side I sleep ! So combs, shampoo and razors are all back in my life after a gap of three months in many ways the baldy look was a lot easier to maintain.
My other treat for the week was getting driven round a race circuit in a new Aston Martin Vantage by one of Astons test drivers, very scary, I have been convinced once again that I could not drive as fast as a proper race driver, they just brake impossibly late from 100+mph straights and fling cars sideways through corners all four wheels squealing in protest yet just hit the apex of the corner every time, amazing!
The medical report continues to be fine, the doctors are now encouraging me to go gardening and camping to get small infections as part of getting my immune system exercised and remembering how to defend my body, so far it has thrown off some sniffles and tummy bugs pretty quickly so I am feeling a lot fitter than even a few weeks ago. We are now setting up for a few weeks of travel, next week to Loch Rannoch for some hillwalking, the following week to Applecross near Skye for beach walks etc and finally a week at the campsite in Aberdeen though that last week will be broken up for me as I have to return to Edinburgh for my scan and to meet the new First Minister of Scotland for breakfast, Alex Salmond, on behalf of Gore.
So all continues to be well, any suggestions for Alex let me know in the comments!
Cheers
Gerry
Monday, June 25, 2007
Glorious Goodwood
All continues to be well here in Edinburgh medically, my hair has moved on from stubble to tennis ball, to nearly looking like a marine cut now, so my body continues to recover well. I do still get fatigue a bit but the times when I feel pretty normal are stretching out and the fatigue tends to follow a late night out or a long drive so is becoming more normal in its pattern.
The highlight of this week was a trip I made to a car show at Goodwood House just near London, I had promised myself this trip since I had been in hospital for my stem cell transplant, as this is the premier car event in the calender and I had never been. It was fantastic. Every car I have ever drooled over in magazines was there, being driven by the famous racing drivers of the era, and the public are allowed to talk to the drivers, walk round the paddock, peer in the cockpits etc. It was petrolhead heaven, only enhanced by the supermodel quota being off the scale. At one point I saw four world rally champions chatting to each other before runs in the actual cars they won the rallies in!. Sadly I could only stay for one day as Poppy had decided to have her birthday party on the Sunday, so I headed back up the road for that - but I will be back!
Poppys party went well I took her and some friends climbing and then they all took turns on an Ariel assault course 150 feet up which excited and scared them in equal proportions. Tonight was her end of term dance so dad was pressed into getting the Aston out of the garage to take them to the dance - they even have dance cards and much angst about who will get the last dance!
I see that the fishermen have returned from the ritual break in the wilderness of Walleye camp and Bill has kindly sent me some photographs of big fish I did not let go, I am sure the average has gone up a lot in fishing pounds caught without me there. Never the less its one of my targets to get to Walleye camp next year if the medics will let me that far away from civilisation by then.
Needless to say after the trip to Goodwood and Poppy's party my energy levels fell well off but only for the morning I seem to be feeling OK again tonight so my stamina is really beginning to improve a lot.
As before no news is good news at this stage, just keeping you posted !
Cheers
Gerry
The highlight of this week was a trip I made to a car show at Goodwood House just near London, I had promised myself this trip since I had been in hospital for my stem cell transplant, as this is the premier car event in the calender and I had never been. It was fantastic. Every car I have ever drooled over in magazines was there, being driven by the famous racing drivers of the era, and the public are allowed to talk to the drivers, walk round the paddock, peer in the cockpits etc. It was petrolhead heaven, only enhanced by the supermodel quota being off the scale. At one point I saw four world rally champions chatting to each other before runs in the actual cars they won the rallies in!. Sadly I could only stay for one day as Poppy had decided to have her birthday party on the Sunday, so I headed back up the road for that - but I will be back!
Poppys party went well I took her and some friends climbing and then they all took turns on an Ariel assault course 150 feet up which excited and scared them in equal proportions. Tonight was her end of term dance so dad was pressed into getting the Aston out of the garage to take them to the dance - they even have dance cards and much angst about who will get the last dance!
I see that the fishermen have returned from the ritual break in the wilderness of Walleye camp and Bill has kindly sent me some photographs of big fish I did not let go, I am sure the average has gone up a lot in fishing pounds caught without me there. Never the less its one of my targets to get to Walleye camp next year if the medics will let me that far away from civilisation by then.
Needless to say after the trip to Goodwood and Poppy's party my energy levels fell well off but only for the morning I seem to be feeling OK again tonight so my stamina is really beginning to improve a lot.
As before no news is good news at this stage, just keeping you posted !
Cheers
Gerry
Monday, June 18, 2007
Isolation and flowers
Just a low key update today as things continue to go well here. Poppy and Lee have both developed sore throats and general flu like symptoms so I have retreated to my study and segregated bathrooms, towels etc so that I avoid catching the bug from them. Poppy missed a day at school today from being too poorly to go but she seems much better now so my enforced isolation should not last too long. She is still very pleased with herself having won the school singing cup but is worried her throat will not have cleared up enough for her to sing at the award ceremony as planned next Wednesday.
I am still doing well medically with a visit to the doctors due next Thursday and my critical scan now set for the 26th of July, and then a week of waiting while they work out what the results mean, hopefully that will be the all clear which starts my move back to work in August as I am getting pretty bored with exercise, cooking and more recently a bit of gardening. I was not allowed to do any gardening other than push the lawnmower for the first six weeks out of hospital due to all the bugs in the soil etc. Over the last few days I have managed to clear the accumulated six months of weeds from our flowerbeds carefully using gloves and antibiotic hand wash afterwards, although I am not a gardener at all its nice to see things pretty tidy in the garden and sit outside for coffee in the sunshine after a day in the garden.
The news at the moment has me in despair as you may guess given my previous blogs in favour of a fairer settlement for the Palestinians - to see them implode as a group into factional fighting is just exasperating. As I have said before they have shown very poor unity and common sense as a group over many years plucking defeat from the jaws of many victories.
My first foray into stocks and shares happened this week, I have always been a bit wary of debt so have concentrated on paying back money owed on houses etc rather than investing, perhaps this is an overly conservative view but there it is. Anyway I had the chance to put a bit of money in a stock ISA (which is tax free in the UK so a good idea). After 24hrs I had managed to lose 100 pounds so not a brilliant start ! Lets hope things go in a more positive direction in the future.
We had two artistic highlights this week one was poppy's singing and dance role in the end of school performance of the senior school and the other was Lee's aunt graduating from the Edinburgh art school and being a part of the final year exhibit. She has taken up the art class since retirement and is doing really well selling some of the works she was showing. Well done Dorothy!
So no big news from here, no news still continues to be good news, hope you all are looking forward and enjoying the summer.
Cheers
Gerry
I am still doing well medically with a visit to the doctors due next Thursday and my critical scan now set for the 26th of July, and then a week of waiting while they work out what the results mean, hopefully that will be the all clear which starts my move back to work in August as I am getting pretty bored with exercise, cooking and more recently a bit of gardening. I was not allowed to do any gardening other than push the lawnmower for the first six weeks out of hospital due to all the bugs in the soil etc. Over the last few days I have managed to clear the accumulated six months of weeds from our flowerbeds carefully using gloves and antibiotic hand wash afterwards, although I am not a gardener at all its nice to see things pretty tidy in the garden and sit outside for coffee in the sunshine after a day in the garden.
The news at the moment has me in despair as you may guess given my previous blogs in favour of a fairer settlement for the Palestinians - to see them implode as a group into factional fighting is just exasperating. As I have said before they have shown very poor unity and common sense as a group over many years plucking defeat from the jaws of many victories.
My first foray into stocks and shares happened this week, I have always been a bit wary of debt so have concentrated on paying back money owed on houses etc rather than investing, perhaps this is an overly conservative view but there it is. Anyway I had the chance to put a bit of money in a stock ISA (which is tax free in the UK so a good idea). After 24hrs I had managed to lose 100 pounds so not a brilliant start ! Lets hope things go in a more positive direction in the future.
We had two artistic highlights this week one was poppy's singing and dance role in the end of school performance of the senior school and the other was Lee's aunt graduating from the Edinburgh art school and being a part of the final year exhibit. She has taken up the art class since retirement and is doing really well selling some of the works she was showing. Well done Dorothy!
So no big news from here, no news still continues to be good news, hope you all are looking forward and enjoying the summer.
Cheers
Gerry
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Warp 1
This last week the boredom of being convalescent finally got to me and I sneaked into work for half a day to catch up with two colleagues who were wrestling with issues I could help with. I did have to face deputy blogger, who was concerned that I was taking unnecessary risks, but in reality I did not meet any more people than I would in the street, and I only went in for half a days chat, so the stress level was very low. In any case all went well, no infections were caught and other than feeling a bit washed out the next day I was fine. My plan is to ease into making connections with colleagues over the next 8 weeks, so that I am not starting from scratch when I go back in August. So this week I have having two pub meetings with other colleagues to continue getting in touch, and have a few email type interactions planned. So I feel pretty comfortable about the level and the progress on this front, and it breaks up the tedium of exercise, rest and household chores.
My recovery continues to go well, my hair is starting to grow back as stubble, which is now black instead of wispy white, shaving every few days is now necessary, which is not welcome, but in a paradox the remaining hair on my arms and legs (and other bits) has fallen out, perhaps pushed out by new growth starting under the old hairs. I am still eating well, and exercising fairly solidly, which means I have lost a bit of weight around my tummy, just from the exercise, which is not too bad. So far I have not got a set date for my scan but I will see the doctor next week on Thursday for the next check up and see what is happening there. I do still get "fatigue" days or half days where I just crash out, but the gaps between these are growing, and I feel basically well, as you would think of it, ie with energy and some enthusiasm for getting things done, about half the time. The other bits are taken up with resting, pottering around the house, or having tummy upsets as my body learns to cope with the normal bugs in the environment. Interestingly my hay fever has not yet come back, which could be a nice positive side effect, as my new immune system may not recognise pollen as a problem.
Family wise all is going well, Poppy has won the school cup for her singing and is off to the big school today for her induction. Holly continues to be horse obsessed and has plans for going riding everywhere we are heading this summer. Lee is worried about her business, which I think is normal for a start up once lawyers get involved, but should die down once the deals are signed and she can get on with selling and developing the products.
So overall nothing exciting to report in the blog, first connections with work have been made successfully but gently, health is on course for improved stamina, and family is muddling through life towards the summer holidays. I hope things are well in your part of the world.
Cheers
Gerry
My recovery continues to go well, my hair is starting to grow back as stubble, which is now black instead of wispy white, shaving every few days is now necessary, which is not welcome, but in a paradox the remaining hair on my arms and legs (and other bits) has fallen out, perhaps pushed out by new growth starting under the old hairs. I am still eating well, and exercising fairly solidly, which means I have lost a bit of weight around my tummy, just from the exercise, which is not too bad. So far I have not got a set date for my scan but I will see the doctor next week on Thursday for the next check up and see what is happening there. I do still get "fatigue" days or half days where I just crash out, but the gaps between these are growing, and I feel basically well, as you would think of it, ie with energy and some enthusiasm for getting things done, about half the time. The other bits are taken up with resting, pottering around the house, or having tummy upsets as my body learns to cope with the normal bugs in the environment. Interestingly my hay fever has not yet come back, which could be a nice positive side effect, as my new immune system may not recognise pollen as a problem.
Family wise all is going well, Poppy has won the school cup for her singing and is off to the big school today for her induction. Holly continues to be horse obsessed and has plans for going riding everywhere we are heading this summer. Lee is worried about her business, which I think is normal for a start up once lawyers get involved, but should die down once the deals are signed and she can get on with selling and developing the products.
So overall nothing exciting to report in the blog, first connections with work have been made successfully but gently, health is on course for improved stamina, and family is muddling through life towards the summer holidays. I hope things are well in your part of the world.
Cheers
Gerry
Monday, June 04, 2007
The joy of a tap-dancing Tea spoon......
I definately missed out when I did ballet and highland dancing when I was a child.....I so want to do tap-dancing..it is absolutely and definately, brilliant. Holly and Poppy wowed us tonight with all their friends in their dance show at the Churchhill theatre. The tap-dancing Tea spoons and playing cards stole the show.
I am inspired! and am going to contact my long-suffering girl friends to suggest some tap and jazz dancing lessons for us this summer.
G has turned into the domestic goddess with attitude......I'm rather enjoying the cooking obsession he has at the moment as I arrive home fom a hard day in the Dragon's Den to a chilled glass of Chablis with my cheese souffle and then a rather lingering and intense Merlot with a Morrocan lamb cassarole, finishing up with a rather indulgent Calvados with poached pear and a cinnamon and ginger compote. hmmmm I could get used to this.
I am planning to distract G a little to help me with some costings for our second product line for the business, I'm still on a really steep learning curve and am in need of Gerry Harvey Jones to
cut through the ..ap!! for me and be Mr Spock at a couple of business meetings at work.
Looking forward to the summer hols and some indulgent times! A few parties to organise first though....one for the Monster challengers and one for Poppy before the end of term...so watch this space.
Catering should be no problem now that I'm married to the Domestic Goddess.
Have a good night.
Deputy B
x
I am inspired! and am going to contact my long-suffering girl friends to suggest some tap and jazz dancing lessons for us this summer.
G has turned into the domestic goddess with attitude......I'm rather enjoying the cooking obsession he has at the moment as I arrive home fom a hard day in the Dragon's Den to a chilled glass of Chablis with my cheese souffle and then a rather lingering and intense Merlot with a Morrocan lamb cassarole, finishing up with a rather indulgent Calvados with poached pear and a cinnamon and ginger compote. hmmmm I could get used to this.
I am planning to distract G a little to help me with some costings for our second product line for the business, I'm still on a really steep learning curve and am in need of Gerry Harvey Jones to
cut through the ..ap!! for me and be Mr Spock at a couple of business meetings at work.
Looking forward to the summer hols and some indulgent times! A few parties to organise first though....one for the Monster challengers and one for Poppy before the end of term...so watch this space.
Catering should be no problem now that I'm married to the Domestic Goddess.
Have a good night.
Deputy B
x
Ferrari in the dust
Things generally continue to progress pretty well here, the big event of the week for me was our annual classic car show at Thirlestain castle. I have been going to this show for a few years with the MG club who compete for the best "single marque" display with the Triumph and other clubs however this year as well as having the MG at the show the Aston was pressed into service in a special forecourt in front of the castle. This was the "Dream Rides" section of the show where members of the public pay a donation (£30) to a children's charity in exchange for a ride in one of a number of exotic sports cars round an 11 mile street circuit. The Aston Martin lined up with racing Ferrari's, modern Ferrari's, Lotus sports cars, Bentley's and TVR's in a special paddock and I was kept pretty busy blasting around the circuit with a string of customers. Although it was overcast, the rain held off, so the roof was down the whole time, of course we were sticking to the speed limits and under no circumstances did the Aston complete a four car high speed pass on the straight to leave a pursuing modern Ferrari in the dust (I think he was in the wrong gear when we caught the other cars as his car is actually faster). Anyhow lots of folks from an 8 year old boy who was mad on James Bond, to middle aged housewives, seemed to get a kick out of the run, and a good deal of money was made for the charity. My friend Craig, who's MG is under restoration drove my car down but despite this effort we only got third in the club stand trophy.
By the end of the day I was quite tired out so took it easy last night, however, apart from being tired I seem to have picked up a tummy bug, probably a bad sandwich or meeting too many people, anyhow today will need to be spent in close range of a toilet! This is OK really as my body has to learn to cope with bugs gradually, so it is normal to push on a bit, like going to the show, and then to get a bit of an infection, as long as its not to serious and the body can cope it means it will be stronger for when I am travelling again and I need to be able to concentrate and turn up reliably for things. This is all part of the immune system re-learning its defenses against common bugs we encounter every day.
According to the doctors I am about one third through this process, they are recommending pretty strongly that I do not go back to work, other than for the odd meeting or phone call, until early August and so far I am sticking with their advice in the hope that when I go back in August, after a few weeks holiday, I can sustain a pretty normal working pattern. However I do feel the itchiness of boredum niggling at the edge of my mind now so I will just have to try to keep my discipline for another 8 weeks or so. I think a few lunch dates with colleagues when they are in the UK and the occasional phone call will start my reconnection to work during that time in a low key way.
So apologies to the readers as the blog continues to be a bit boring, this bit of the treatment process is in reality a bit boring, if it is going well, so I am happy to be unexciting and working through the daily routine of exercise and rest in a low stress environment. Long may it continue ! I am probably sticking to weekly updates now so do not worry if not much happens on the blog, if anything does go wrong I will let you all know so for now no news is good news.
Cheers
Gerry
By the end of the day I was quite tired out so took it easy last night, however, apart from being tired I seem to have picked up a tummy bug, probably a bad sandwich or meeting too many people, anyhow today will need to be spent in close range of a toilet! This is OK really as my body has to learn to cope with bugs gradually, so it is normal to push on a bit, like going to the show, and then to get a bit of an infection, as long as its not to serious and the body can cope it means it will be stronger for when I am travelling again and I need to be able to concentrate and turn up reliably for things. This is all part of the immune system re-learning its defenses against common bugs we encounter every day.
According to the doctors I am about one third through this process, they are recommending pretty strongly that I do not go back to work, other than for the odd meeting or phone call, until early August and so far I am sticking with their advice in the hope that when I go back in August, after a few weeks holiday, I can sustain a pretty normal working pattern. However I do feel the itchiness of boredum niggling at the edge of my mind now so I will just have to try to keep my discipline for another 8 weeks or so. I think a few lunch dates with colleagues when they are in the UK and the occasional phone call will start my reconnection to work during that time in a low key way.
So apologies to the readers as the blog continues to be a bit boring, this bit of the treatment process is in reality a bit boring, if it is going well, so I am happy to be unexciting and working through the daily routine of exercise and rest in a low stress environment. Long may it continue ! I am probably sticking to weekly updates now so do not worry if not much happens on the blog, if anything does go wrong I will let you all know so for now no news is good news.
Cheers
Gerry
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Empty nest and frustration
Poppy has headed of for her first proper flight from the nest, with a one week long school trip to Holland, the house feels strange without her interacting with Holly, so Holly and I chum around doing things together which is nice. I guess that when kids leave home to go to college it must be a massive change in the atmosphere of a household and in the parents perspective on life.
Needless to say Poppy had nothing in her wardrobe that fitted her any more, and managed to persuade weak parents to fund her shopping for the trip, thankfully she is too old now for me to buy her clothes (I used to use my trips to the USA to buy very good value clothes at Oshkosh etc in the factory outlets north of our US plants, so unusually I bought a lot of their clothes when they were young) so poor Lee had to brave the shops with her. Poppy has good taste, which many young people, and myself, do not have, so we do not yet have the fights over the too revealing or impractical wardrobe selection.
Holly has her first horse "event" on Thursday, a kind of end of term show, so both Lee and I are keen to go along, as this is her real passion of the moment, and we know she will be delighted to see us there. I think all parents want to ensure they give good encouragement to both children so the horse show should, we hope, balance the justified praise for Poppy in the singing department.
On Monday I went to see my friend and leader in Gore, Andy Warrender, for lunch which was the first time we had spoken face to face since the start of my latest treatment. Andy, like all the Gore leadership, has been very supportive of my situation, personally covered my back when I had to drop out so quickly, and since has been keen to ensure that I took the time to get better properly before coming back to work. We had a nice chat about the things I might do when I come back, what had been going on since I had been "out of the loop" and other general chat about our own perspectives on life, he has just been to the north pole and has plans for other adventures with his family. Without realising it hours had passed, and I set off down the road my head buzzing with ideas (which was my normal state prior to treatment to be fair). By the time I got home I was exhausted, Lee took one look at me and headed me off to the couch where I slept for two hours. It is very strange to be mentally near 100% but not to have the stamina to be able to concentrate or keep going in body. I guess I just need to be patient and realistic, keep up the exercise, and slowly my stamina will grow.
Today I did turn on my work computer for the first time in two months, and I will make some tentative contacts with folks over the next few weeks on the telephone, just to gradually open up my radar to what has happened over the last months, and get a feel for what is going on. Its good to feel that there are opportunities and challenges out there waiting for my stamina, and my immune system, to catch up.
So a good weekend and few days, lots of interesting ideas for the future, but a good reminder of how I need to build up my stamina a good deal more before managing a 9 to 5, never mind the "full on" demands of the type of role I have done in the past. However a bit of chat with colleagues on the wireless headset for an hour or two, a bit of background research, and getting my radar off "pause" and on to "gentle sweep" all seems possible over the next month.
I even had my first shave in 12 weeks due to small white fuzzy stubble starting to grow again !
Cheers
Gerry
Needless to say Poppy had nothing in her wardrobe that fitted her any more, and managed to persuade weak parents to fund her shopping for the trip, thankfully she is too old now for me to buy her clothes (I used to use my trips to the USA to buy very good value clothes at Oshkosh etc in the factory outlets north of our US plants, so unusually I bought a lot of their clothes when they were young) so poor Lee had to brave the shops with her. Poppy has good taste, which many young people, and myself, do not have, so we do not yet have the fights over the too revealing or impractical wardrobe selection.
Holly has her first horse "event" on Thursday, a kind of end of term show, so both Lee and I are keen to go along, as this is her real passion of the moment, and we know she will be delighted to see us there. I think all parents want to ensure they give good encouragement to both children so the horse show should, we hope, balance the justified praise for Poppy in the singing department.
On Monday I went to see my friend and leader in Gore, Andy Warrender, for lunch which was the first time we had spoken face to face since the start of my latest treatment. Andy, like all the Gore leadership, has been very supportive of my situation, personally covered my back when I had to drop out so quickly, and since has been keen to ensure that I took the time to get better properly before coming back to work. We had a nice chat about the things I might do when I come back, what had been going on since I had been "out of the loop" and other general chat about our own perspectives on life, he has just been to the north pole and has plans for other adventures with his family. Without realising it hours had passed, and I set off down the road my head buzzing with ideas (which was my normal state prior to treatment to be fair). By the time I got home I was exhausted, Lee took one look at me and headed me off to the couch where I slept for two hours. It is very strange to be mentally near 100% but not to have the stamina to be able to concentrate or keep going in body. I guess I just need to be patient and realistic, keep up the exercise, and slowly my stamina will grow.
Today I did turn on my work computer for the first time in two months, and I will make some tentative contacts with folks over the next few weeks on the telephone, just to gradually open up my radar to what has happened over the last months, and get a feel for what is going on. Its good to feel that there are opportunities and challenges out there waiting for my stamina, and my immune system, to catch up.
So a good weekend and few days, lots of interesting ideas for the future, but a good reminder of how I need to build up my stamina a good deal more before managing a 9 to 5, never mind the "full on" demands of the type of role I have done in the past. However a bit of chat with colleagues on the wireless headset for an hour or two, a bit of background research, and getting my radar off "pause" and on to "gentle sweep" all seems possible over the next month.
I even had my first shave in 12 weeks due to small white fuzzy stubble starting to grow again !
Cheers
Gerry
Friday, May 25, 2007
True Colours
All is well here in Edinburgh, in fact better than well. Last night Poppy sang a solo verse of the song "True Colours" at the school concert in the Queens hall, no mike or amplification, just stood out at the front of the 30 strong choir and belted it out to an audience of hundreds. Hers was the only solo singing in the whole concert, and I was bursting with pride at her great voice but specially her confidence to preform like that. We stopped for celebratory ice creams and rang Lee, who was stuck in a meeting near Oxford, to share the good news as we walked back through the park. The whole show was pretty good, both Poppy and Holly had good parts in different choirs, so we all enjoyed the evening. My bald head does make me stand out, even more than in the past, so lots of parents and staff were enquiring after my health, which was nice, if a bit repetitive.
Health wise things are still trucking along very well, I saw Dr Scott yesterday and, after a through check over, she announced that she does not need to see me again for four weeks. She is still supportive of the exercise I am doing, and thinks that is helping boost my immune system. I am now up to 17km bike, 5km rowing and 50 laps of the pool each session which takes about two hours, then I treat myself to a big fruit smoothie and a good fresh made veg soup at the cafe on the way home. One thing which surprised me is that I stopped to talk to four doctors and nurses just walking through the hospital yesterday, which shows how much time I have spent there in the last year.
Dr Scott has sent in the request for the CAT scan to check that the cancer is gone, as far as they can tell anyway, so that should be in about 8 weeks time. She is very confident, based on the clean CAT and PET scans before the transplant, that the scan will be clean, I am a bit more nervous as thats what they said the last time! It will be good to get a clean scan under my belt before going back to work, after that its just healing time and fingers crossed for the future.
So all is well and a quiet weekend is planned to enable us to catch up on some housework, rest and garden projects, I hope your days are going just as smoothly!
Cheers
Gerry
Health wise things are still trucking along very well, I saw Dr Scott yesterday and, after a through check over, she announced that she does not need to see me again for four weeks. She is still supportive of the exercise I am doing, and thinks that is helping boost my immune system. I am now up to 17km bike, 5km rowing and 50 laps of the pool each session which takes about two hours, then I treat myself to a big fruit smoothie and a good fresh made veg soup at the cafe on the way home. One thing which surprised me is that I stopped to talk to four doctors and nurses just walking through the hospital yesterday, which shows how much time I have spent there in the last year.
Dr Scott has sent in the request for the CAT scan to check that the cancer is gone, as far as they can tell anyway, so that should be in about 8 weeks time. She is very confident, based on the clean CAT and PET scans before the transplant, that the scan will be clean, I am a bit more nervous as thats what they said the last time! It will be good to get a clean scan under my belt before going back to work, after that its just healing time and fingers crossed for the future.
So all is well and a quiet weekend is planned to enable us to catch up on some housework, rest and garden projects, I hope your days are going just as smoothly!
Cheers
Gerry
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Cycling by lochs and glens
Things continue to progress well for me thankfully. My routine of gym and pool exercise has continued to get me out of bed and has trimmed my weight by about 2kg mostly by removing the excess fat around my middle which had built up as I lost muscle mass during chemo but was eating to try to keep my weight up. So although I managed to keep my weight constant at 85kg from Jan to May the proportion of muscle to fat did change adversely so dropping down to 82kg is just a part of rebuilding my muscle and losing some of that fat. It seems that I will probably be a bit "leaner" after the treatment as this is a common observation from other folks.
The exercise in the gym was supplemented this weekend by a fair bit of cycling as we all went off to the Trossachs with the bikes and each of the three days I cycled about 12 miles or so on average, with our family and a friend Ken and his daughter. Having two cars enabled us to pick routes which were a good length, but mostly downhill, so the level of exercise was not too much for me (and Ken who is recovering from a bad DVT clot in his leg). So for both of us and the kids this was a confidence boosting weekend, I even heard Holly say "that's not too far" when I told her we had five miles to go, so she is getting used to pushing on, even in the Scottish showers, which followed us from time to time on the routes.
The scenery around Callander is fantastic and most of the bike tracks are free of cars and run alongside rivers or lochs in the shadow of some pretty big mountains, so the views were tremendous. After three days we were sad to leave, but dancing rehearsals called for the kids, so we had to head back to Edinburgh for tea time.
I did manage my first outing to the local pub with my friend Nick for a few months on Monday night, which was very enjoyable and another milestone on the road to normality for me. A night out still has me sleeping the next day until 10am or so to recover, but the stamina to cope will come with practice. That can be my new excuse for going to the pub occasionally, I need the practice!
As the kids were on holiday today I took ours, plus two friends, to the pool and, while they played, I managed to do 50 lengths of the pool in an hour, which is a new post transplant record for me, so I am feeling pleased with progress each day, by the end of July I should be fit enough for family holidays and then work at the end of August as planned, fingers crossed, as I think I will begin to be a bit bored with domestic life and solitary exercise by then.
The hospital has sent me a "mental state" evaluation form, apparently a lot of my transplant buddies have developed depression, so they try to ensure we get the right mental support as well as the more direct medical stuff. Needless to say given my good luck and increasing well being my form will not trouble them too much!
So all is going well here, thankfully no infections or setbacks to report, lets hope it stays that way!
Cheers
Gerry
The exercise in the gym was supplemented this weekend by a fair bit of cycling as we all went off to the Trossachs with the bikes and each of the three days I cycled about 12 miles or so on average, with our family and a friend Ken and his daughter. Having two cars enabled us to pick routes which were a good length, but mostly downhill, so the level of exercise was not too much for me (and Ken who is recovering from a bad DVT clot in his leg). So for both of us and the kids this was a confidence boosting weekend, I even heard Holly say "that's not too far" when I told her we had five miles to go, so she is getting used to pushing on, even in the Scottish showers, which followed us from time to time on the routes.
The scenery around Callander is fantastic and most of the bike tracks are free of cars and run alongside rivers or lochs in the shadow of some pretty big mountains, so the views were tremendous. After three days we were sad to leave, but dancing rehearsals called for the kids, so we had to head back to Edinburgh for tea time.
I did manage my first outing to the local pub with my friend Nick for a few months on Monday night, which was very enjoyable and another milestone on the road to normality for me. A night out still has me sleeping the next day until 10am or so to recover, but the stamina to cope will come with practice. That can be my new excuse for going to the pub occasionally, I need the practice!
As the kids were on holiday today I took ours, plus two friends, to the pool and, while they played, I managed to do 50 lengths of the pool in an hour, which is a new post transplant record for me, so I am feeling pleased with progress each day, by the end of July I should be fit enough for family holidays and then work at the end of August as planned, fingers crossed, as I think I will begin to be a bit bored with domestic life and solitary exercise by then.
The hospital has sent me a "mental state" evaluation form, apparently a lot of my transplant buddies have developed depression, so they try to ensure we get the right mental support as well as the more direct medical stuff. Needless to say given my good luck and increasing well being my form will not trouble them too much!
So all is going well here, thankfully no infections or setbacks to report, lets hope it stays that way!
Cheers
Gerry
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Slogging it out, day by day
Things are still going well here at Mulligan towers, basically my health continues to improve and I have not caught any nasty bugs, the kids continue to expand their horizions with horses (jr) and singing (snr), and Lee is taking advantage of a full time home help (me) to move onward and upward with her business, which is actually looking quite good just now.
We had a funny conversation last night where Lee observed that I had not become depressed yet, apparently I am supposed to be depressed about now because I have not got my full health back and that I have not got a cast iron promise of an ongoing future. Its true that I have spent a lot of time summoning the energy to get out of a chair from time to time, just because I am puffed out, but the cause has not been depression as predicted by a lot of the folks who work with us "survivors". My reply was that I quite like my life, and so getting it back, even in this limited way is a hell of a lot better than Melfan chemo any day of the week, or dying, which was the alternative. So for me walking down the street to the gym is good, picking up a few ingredients on the way home for tea is good (stroganoff today), chatting to the kids about homework, what they will not eat for tea and what time they are going to bed at, is all good. Perhaps people who are depressed did not really think they were going to die, honestly when I had my relapse, and the consultant told me I had a 40% chance, I thought I was done for, thankfully I seem to have been wrong, and so each day is good, no space for depression.
I did get humiliated at the gym today however, I was on a ski machine beside some very cool looking babe, I felt good about keeping pace, more or less, with her on the machine - until I noticed that the heart rate monitor on my machine was reading a solid 145 while hers was reading 68, clearly I will never reach that level, but none the less it was a startling reminder of how much work I need to do to get fit. My gym and pool routine is now up to about 2 hours a day which I think is a good level, still at low resistance but that will crank up as I get fitter.
We had some friends around last night which was nice, so a late night, and a few glasses of red wine, knocked me out for today, I just managed to get up at lunch time, and get to the gym, in time for the kids coming home from school. No way I would have been out of bed at 7am for work so even though I am doing well, and feeling well, my stamina needs time to build up just as the doctors said. This is a strange feeling as my mind is just about as sharp as it was before, but my body overrules me all the time. I find myself in the chair at the kitchen table 15min after I have finished my lunch just thinking about what to do next. There is a big disconnect just now between mind and the body so when folks see me, and hence I make an effort, I seem fine and sound fine, but in the quiet times I am really still puffed out a lot of the time.
So steady exercise, and lots of rest inbetween, seems to be the formulae for success, I am determined to cycle to my next appointment with Dr Scott, which is a good way across the city, as a target for next Thursday. In the meantime we have a long weekend coming up as the kids and Lee have Monday off, so that could see the bikes come out for some family cycling as a way to get prepared for my run to the hospital later in the week.
Cheers
Gerry
PS for you cooks I discovered a french recipie for pork roast which involves steaming the roast over a stock of onions, garlic, shallots, carrots for 45 min and then finishing it in a hot oven for 25min which makes great juicy pork roast, not at all dry like my previous attempts!
We had a funny conversation last night where Lee observed that I had not become depressed yet, apparently I am supposed to be depressed about now because I have not got my full health back and that I have not got a cast iron promise of an ongoing future. Its true that I have spent a lot of time summoning the energy to get out of a chair from time to time, just because I am puffed out, but the cause has not been depression as predicted by a lot of the folks who work with us "survivors". My reply was that I quite like my life, and so getting it back, even in this limited way is a hell of a lot better than Melfan chemo any day of the week, or dying, which was the alternative. So for me walking down the street to the gym is good, picking up a few ingredients on the way home for tea is good (stroganoff today), chatting to the kids about homework, what they will not eat for tea and what time they are going to bed at, is all good. Perhaps people who are depressed did not really think they were going to die, honestly when I had my relapse, and the consultant told me I had a 40% chance, I thought I was done for, thankfully I seem to have been wrong, and so each day is good, no space for depression.
I did get humiliated at the gym today however, I was on a ski machine beside some very cool looking babe, I felt good about keeping pace, more or less, with her on the machine - until I noticed that the heart rate monitor on my machine was reading a solid 145 while hers was reading 68, clearly I will never reach that level, but none the less it was a startling reminder of how much work I need to do to get fit. My gym and pool routine is now up to about 2 hours a day which I think is a good level, still at low resistance but that will crank up as I get fitter.
We had some friends around last night which was nice, so a late night, and a few glasses of red wine, knocked me out for today, I just managed to get up at lunch time, and get to the gym, in time for the kids coming home from school. No way I would have been out of bed at 7am for work so even though I am doing well, and feeling well, my stamina needs time to build up just as the doctors said. This is a strange feeling as my mind is just about as sharp as it was before, but my body overrules me all the time. I find myself in the chair at the kitchen table 15min after I have finished my lunch just thinking about what to do next. There is a big disconnect just now between mind and the body so when folks see me, and hence I make an effort, I seem fine and sound fine, but in the quiet times I am really still puffed out a lot of the time.
So steady exercise, and lots of rest inbetween, seems to be the formulae for success, I am determined to cycle to my next appointment with Dr Scott, which is a good way across the city, as a target for next Thursday. In the meantime we have a long weekend coming up as the kids and Lee have Monday off, so that could see the bikes come out for some family cycling as a way to get prepared for my run to the hospital later in the week.
Cheers
Gerry
PS for you cooks I discovered a french recipie for pork roast which involves steaming the roast over a stock of onions, garlic, shallots, carrots for 45 min and then finishing it in a hot oven for 25min which makes great juicy pork roast, not at all dry like my previous attempts!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Monster Pictures
These are the rocket men of our team, Alex and Ian, who finished the event in time for a last order at the bar 3 hours or more ahead of the best of the rest of the team, this is them about to go for the last 20 miles still looking pretty fresh.
Here is deputy blogger and Duncan setting out on the last leg to the finsh at 10pm. At this point the soles of duncans feet were no longer attached to his feet, lots of drugs needed to keep slugging it out with Lee to the finish.
This one is of the main group ready to go for the main push, the front row from the left is my brother Kevin, then Philip, then Jonathon my sisters husband. The back row is colin (soon to collapse), Cris and Robert all friends of Kevins - Philip already looks like he is being held up and they have 20 miles to go from here.
This one is of Poppy, Holly and myself sitting on the back of the Jeep waiting for Lee to arrive at the final checkpoint before the big push, at this point I was pretty tired, Jim took all these photographs. With my Gore Paclite Jacket and Aston Martin hat to cover up the baldy head all my sympathies are on show!
Cheers
Gerry
Graduation on Day 40 !
Well 40 days ago I had no bone marrow or immune system left that was the day the little miracle stem cells were thawed out and fed back into my bloodstream, somehow they have found their way to my bones, grown up and are producing a new bone marrow, blood system and immune system, keeping me alive, but not just that, hopefully alive and cancer free.
Today Liz the transplant nurse officially graduated me from the Monday morning "transplant club" as she and Dr Scott feel I am doing well enough not to need blood transfusions and regular twice weekly blood count checks. I was a bit surprised and pleased at the same time as some of the folks there on a Monday have had transplants as long as six months ago. It seems like the fact that I got my own cells back (rather than a family members), I had a good harvest of stem cells and my reasonably smooth, infection free, transplant has continued to combine with good diet and exercise to get me ahead of the normal recovery curve. So now I have to see Dr Scott next Thursday and after that I may be on monthly check ups until the dreaded scan in August.
I saw Gene Wilder on a chat show (Parkinson) two nights ago and he told his story of having a stem cell transplant just like mine five years ago, he told his story well, as you would expect, but captured the dilemma of this illness well when Parky asked him if he was cured. He replied something like "well, we don't say cured in this game, for a while you are "in remission" after about five years, where I am now, you are "in complete remission" and if you die from something else then you were cured". This captures very well the tension which will exist for me from here on in, as there is a chance of not being cured or the treatments considerable collateral damage leading to other cancers or problems in the future. So for me (and in reality for all of you) each day, month, and year is a gift from here on in, rather than the firm expectation it used to feel like.
So I need to build up my stamina and fitness now to keep up the good progress made so far and try to get ready for my hopeful return to "normal" life at the end of the summer. My daily gym and swim exercise will be kept up but around the house I am going to try to move from slouch to domestic goddess as practice for the stamina needed to fly around the world and work from 7am to 10pm in a different time zone (actually we did work some crazy hours in some very odd time zones in the past). Lee has helpfully compliled a "Honey do" list for me "if I have time" which involves gardening, carpet cleaning and decorating a couple of bedrooms, which will keep me busy through June... so I shall need a holiday by the time the kids break for the summer. Helpfully my doctors restrictions on when I am allowed to go back to work co-incide nicely with the end of the school holidays so we all will go back onto the treadmill at the same time at the end of August.
I am planning to have a couple of chats with leadership of Gore between now and then so that I do not just turn up to an empty desk and a computer and wonder what to do next! My mind is begining to turn in that direction now so those chats will be interesting for me, it will be curious to try to build back up my reputation and the confidence of the organisation in me (and my own confidence in my stamina and ability to focus, though I feel better about this as every day passes). I actually quite like the idea of "throwing the dice" in mid carreer and changing the direction of my work, not so much as to want to change company, as I really like working with Gore, but more to do something a little bit different with new challenges to keep life interesting. The guy who introduced me to Lee tried to put her off by saying "the problem with Gerry is he likes new things" that is still true today 15 years later.
So with a nice celebration dinner with Lee on Friday night, and graduation from the transplant support club today I am feeling more normal than I have for a long time, and begining to look forward to the future, I hope you all are too.
Cheers
Gerry
Today Liz the transplant nurse officially graduated me from the Monday morning "transplant club" as she and Dr Scott feel I am doing well enough not to need blood transfusions and regular twice weekly blood count checks. I was a bit surprised and pleased at the same time as some of the folks there on a Monday have had transplants as long as six months ago. It seems like the fact that I got my own cells back (rather than a family members), I had a good harvest of stem cells and my reasonably smooth, infection free, transplant has continued to combine with good diet and exercise to get me ahead of the normal recovery curve. So now I have to see Dr Scott next Thursday and after that I may be on monthly check ups until the dreaded scan in August.
I saw Gene Wilder on a chat show (Parkinson) two nights ago and he told his story of having a stem cell transplant just like mine five years ago, he told his story well, as you would expect, but captured the dilemma of this illness well when Parky asked him if he was cured. He replied something like "well, we don't say cured in this game, for a while you are "in remission" after about five years, where I am now, you are "in complete remission" and if you die from something else then you were cured". This captures very well the tension which will exist for me from here on in, as there is a chance of not being cured or the treatments considerable collateral damage leading to other cancers or problems in the future. So for me (and in reality for all of you) each day, month, and year is a gift from here on in, rather than the firm expectation it used to feel like.
So I need to build up my stamina and fitness now to keep up the good progress made so far and try to get ready for my hopeful return to "normal" life at the end of the summer. My daily gym and swim exercise will be kept up but around the house I am going to try to move from slouch to domestic goddess as practice for the stamina needed to fly around the world and work from 7am to 10pm in a different time zone (actually we did work some crazy hours in some very odd time zones in the past). Lee has helpfully compliled a "Honey do" list for me "if I have time" which involves gardening, carpet cleaning and decorating a couple of bedrooms, which will keep me busy through June... so I shall need a holiday by the time the kids break for the summer. Helpfully my doctors restrictions on when I am allowed to go back to work co-incide nicely with the end of the school holidays so we all will go back onto the treadmill at the same time at the end of August.
I am planning to have a couple of chats with leadership of Gore between now and then so that I do not just turn up to an empty desk and a computer and wonder what to do next! My mind is begining to turn in that direction now so those chats will be interesting for me, it will be curious to try to build back up my reputation and the confidence of the organisation in me (and my own confidence in my stamina and ability to focus, though I feel better about this as every day passes). I actually quite like the idea of "throwing the dice" in mid carreer and changing the direction of my work, not so much as to want to change company, as I really like working with Gore, but more to do something a little bit different with new challenges to keep life interesting. The guy who introduced me to Lee tried to put her off by saying "the problem with Gerry is he likes new things" that is still true today 15 years later.
So with a nice celebration dinner with Lee on Friday night, and graduation from the transplant support club today I am feeling more normal than I have for a long time, and begining to look forward to the future, I hope you all are too.
Cheers
Gerry
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Poles, vaseline, the nine times table and special forces....
Evening bloggers!
Well we did walk 500 miles and still in one piece to tell the tale! What a weekend. Many, many thanks to all the blog team for their heroic efforts last week; Lorna, Alex, Ian, Tim, Mike, Alex, Duncan, Kevin , Philip, Jonathan, Chris, Campbell, Colin and Robert and our fantastic support team of Jim, Gerry, Nora, Michelle, Debi and Ivana.
G had sorted out all the logistics and got us all and cars and drivers to the Pasta party at Fort William on the Friday night where we got registered and stocked up on carbs and waited in anticipation for the safety briefing. It was worth the wait! We got shouted at by an extreme person called Fox-pit or fox-trot or something with fox or Pitt in it who over emphasised every 4th word and informed us that he had undertaken much more difficult challenges than the Monster. (Inspiring!!!not). Then he barked out all the essential equipment you would need in order to complete the Gold stage (strangely enough there was no mention of Cremola foam and Green flash shoes) and yes the dreaded walking poles were mentioned....along with a large tub of vaseline and drinking 4 litres of water every hour just to survive the bike ride. If you made it to the hiking stage you then had to run the gauntlet of highland doctors who might ask you general knowledge questions or even the 9 times table (to help weed out those who weren't taking it seriously). The doctors (according to Fox-Pitt) had the power to remove you from the event and put you in the black tent. In addition, we were also told that "Special forces" were operating on the overnight stage to Inverness and would be "helping people in difficulty" up on the mountains. This was all beginning to sound rather alarming (and we thought we were just on a staightforward charity hike!).
We bolstered ourselves with some team talk at Loch Lochy youth hostel that evening and decided that Ian should be the first to tackle the roving doctors as he was confident with the 9 times table and could say "Good morning" in Polish. Lorna and I did not get much sleep as we had some people in our dorm who apparently were not getting up at 5am to walk to Inverness and so felt the need to stay up all night giggling and chatting and going to the toilet etc (thats young people for you).... So up at 5am and to the start for 6am to get shouted at again by Fox Pitt who at least this time was only telling us where to get bacon butties. There were lots of rather fit looking chaps in lycra circling the car park, a bit like chariots of fire doing some quite exhibitionist things with a tub of vaseline (is that really necessary!). I have to say that there were not so many middle aged women but we tried not to get too intimidated. Then we were under starters orders and off..........
One of the things that Fox-Pitt failed to mention on his safety brief was to tell people which side to pass on with the bikes so inevitably there was a lot of bunching and crunching at the start and I think one or 2 early casualties for the diving team patrolling the canal. The blog team got a bit dispersed at this stage with most of the boys setting off at a good pace with Lorna and I taking our time to enjoy the scenery on the way. We lost Duncan at one point who was following a rather gorgeous lycra clad babe, apparently with visible thong, who turned out to be rather a serious mountain biker so Duncan made good time over this section. The off-road biking bit was bit more severe than we had thought and we did pass some casualties along the way. Lorna and I were quite glad to finish the biking section at Fort Augustus and Gerry and Jim were there with porridge and coffee and a change of gear.
So we set off to Invermoriston, by this time an hour or 2 behind the boys where Alex and Ian were up front having set a blistering pace on the bikes. Invermoriston turned out to be rather hard to reach as the sound of the band playing in the town hall kept coming in and out of earshot and we seemed to be walking around and around it and never quite getting there, a bit like trying to find Brigadoon. Then on the way out we seemed to take forever walking on a zig-zag route along forest tracks and still we could see the town below. Eventually we put Invermoriston behind us and headed towards Drummnadrochit!
Luckily I have never been any good at reading maps so I had no idea what was ahead. However, Lorna and I heard a few expletives from Duncan who could read a map who would cheer us up with" Do you want the bad news or the really bad news!" He could teach Fox Pitt a thing or 2 on morale raising behaviour. So we climbed higher and higher (lovely views of Loch Ness) and tramped on towards Drummnadrochit having chats along with the way with some of the other Monster participants. A long slog into Drum at around 9pm and it was beginning to get dark and threatening rain. It was lovely to see Debi and the kids and the rest of the support team who were waiting to welcome us with hot drinks and some food. We also got news of the others as we were the back stops of the team. Alex and Ian were still upfront and had Inverness in their sights. The others had all set off for the gold stage and Philip had pushed on even though his knee was bothering him. We stopped to change gear again and get some food before setting off accross the hills to Inverness. Duncan got his blisters treated and managed to recite enough of the 9 times table to be allowed out again so we pressed on into the night with torches for the last 20 miles.
There was a real ****ard of a hill just outside Drum which was really steep and quite relentless. Luckily it was dark at this point and you could only see a few feet in front of you with head torches so you had no idea what was ahead. Eventually we got to the top and found the tent with Teas, coffee etc. We were told that that was the worst bit and that it was easy to get to Inverness after this (hmm... easy, comprised a 15 mile slog accross the hill top in the rain, wind and dark trying to avoid the Special Forces, wolves and several crocodiles that Duncan and I stumbled upon in our delerium. At this stage we would have quite welcomed sight of the doctors and the Black tent but they had all rather sensibly gone home for the night. In fact every time we got to a water stop they were about to pack up shop and head home and we were sure there were people still behind us! At this stage we had to force ourselves to keep eating and drinking as you were so tired you didn't feel like it at all. Duncan's blisters had taken over his whole foot and although I did offer amputation as an option (knowing the Special forces were at hand) he prefered drugs instead. Eventually, we saw the lights of Inverness in the dawn which lifted our spirits considerably. We walked on in a meditative trance for a few miles and then Inverness got closer and closer and the next thing we knew Avril and Jill were waiting to meet us before we got to the Aquadrome and THE END!!!!Hooray.
Avril drove us back to her house and we collapsed for a few hours sleep before catching up with everyone else later on and we had a great celebration that evening in RocPool in Inverness.
The fundraising has been fantastic and we have smashed through our original target and it is still growing! Thank you all so much for participating in this either by doing it or helping to support the team and by fundraising it is for a great cause. The biggest boost for the whole team was having Gerry there with us, just a few weeks post-transplant. He is keen to do The Monster next year...so if any of you want to sign up again......
9 x 3 is 29
good night
Deputy Blogger
Well we did walk 500 miles and still in one piece to tell the tale! What a weekend. Many, many thanks to all the blog team for their heroic efforts last week; Lorna, Alex, Ian, Tim, Mike, Alex, Duncan, Kevin , Philip, Jonathan, Chris, Campbell, Colin and Robert and our fantastic support team of Jim, Gerry, Nora, Michelle, Debi and Ivana.
G had sorted out all the logistics and got us all and cars and drivers to the Pasta party at Fort William on the Friday night where we got registered and stocked up on carbs and waited in anticipation for the safety briefing. It was worth the wait! We got shouted at by an extreme person called Fox-pit or fox-trot or something with fox or Pitt in it who over emphasised every 4th word and informed us that he had undertaken much more difficult challenges than the Monster. (Inspiring!!!not). Then he barked out all the essential equipment you would need in order to complete the Gold stage (strangely enough there was no mention of Cremola foam and Green flash shoes) and yes the dreaded walking poles were mentioned....along with a large tub of vaseline and drinking 4 litres of water every hour just to survive the bike ride. If you made it to the hiking stage you then had to run the gauntlet of highland doctors who might ask you general knowledge questions or even the 9 times table (to help weed out those who weren't taking it seriously). The doctors (according to Fox-Pitt) had the power to remove you from the event and put you in the black tent. In addition, we were also told that "Special forces" were operating on the overnight stage to Inverness and would be "helping people in difficulty" up on the mountains. This was all beginning to sound rather alarming (and we thought we were just on a staightforward charity hike!).
We bolstered ourselves with some team talk at Loch Lochy youth hostel that evening and decided that Ian should be the first to tackle the roving doctors as he was confident with the 9 times table and could say "Good morning" in Polish. Lorna and I did not get much sleep as we had some people in our dorm who apparently were not getting up at 5am to walk to Inverness and so felt the need to stay up all night giggling and chatting and going to the toilet etc (thats young people for you).... So up at 5am and to the start for 6am to get shouted at again by Fox Pitt who at least this time was only telling us where to get bacon butties. There were lots of rather fit looking chaps in lycra circling the car park, a bit like chariots of fire doing some quite exhibitionist things with a tub of vaseline (is that really necessary!). I have to say that there were not so many middle aged women but we tried not to get too intimidated. Then we were under starters orders and off..........
One of the things that Fox-Pitt failed to mention on his safety brief was to tell people which side to pass on with the bikes so inevitably there was a lot of bunching and crunching at the start and I think one or 2 early casualties for the diving team patrolling the canal. The blog team got a bit dispersed at this stage with most of the boys setting off at a good pace with Lorna and I taking our time to enjoy the scenery on the way. We lost Duncan at one point who was following a rather gorgeous lycra clad babe, apparently with visible thong, who turned out to be rather a serious mountain biker so Duncan made good time over this section. The off-road biking bit was bit more severe than we had thought and we did pass some casualties along the way. Lorna and I were quite glad to finish the biking section at Fort Augustus and Gerry and Jim were there with porridge and coffee and a change of gear.
So we set off to Invermoriston, by this time an hour or 2 behind the boys where Alex and Ian were up front having set a blistering pace on the bikes. Invermoriston turned out to be rather hard to reach as the sound of the band playing in the town hall kept coming in and out of earshot and we seemed to be walking around and around it and never quite getting there, a bit like trying to find Brigadoon. Then on the way out we seemed to take forever walking on a zig-zag route along forest tracks and still we could see the town below. Eventually we put Invermoriston behind us and headed towards Drummnadrochit!
Luckily I have never been any good at reading maps so I had no idea what was ahead. However, Lorna and I heard a few expletives from Duncan who could read a map who would cheer us up with" Do you want the bad news or the really bad news!" He could teach Fox Pitt a thing or 2 on morale raising behaviour. So we climbed higher and higher (lovely views of Loch Ness) and tramped on towards Drummnadrochit having chats along with the way with some of the other Monster participants. A long slog into Drum at around 9pm and it was beginning to get dark and threatening rain. It was lovely to see Debi and the kids and the rest of the support team who were waiting to welcome us with hot drinks and some food. We also got news of the others as we were the back stops of the team. Alex and Ian were still upfront and had Inverness in their sights. The others had all set off for the gold stage and Philip had pushed on even though his knee was bothering him. We stopped to change gear again and get some food before setting off accross the hills to Inverness. Duncan got his blisters treated and managed to recite enough of the 9 times table to be allowed out again so we pressed on into the night with torches for the last 20 miles.
There was a real ****ard of a hill just outside Drum which was really steep and quite relentless. Luckily it was dark at this point and you could only see a few feet in front of you with head torches so you had no idea what was ahead. Eventually we got to the top and found the tent with Teas, coffee etc. We were told that that was the worst bit and that it was easy to get to Inverness after this (hmm... easy, comprised a 15 mile slog accross the hill top in the rain, wind and dark trying to avoid the Special Forces, wolves and several crocodiles that Duncan and I stumbled upon in our delerium. At this stage we would have quite welcomed sight of the doctors and the Black tent but they had all rather sensibly gone home for the night. In fact every time we got to a water stop they were about to pack up shop and head home and we were sure there were people still behind us! At this stage we had to force ourselves to keep eating and drinking as you were so tired you didn't feel like it at all. Duncan's blisters had taken over his whole foot and although I did offer amputation as an option (knowing the Special forces were at hand) he prefered drugs instead. Eventually, we saw the lights of Inverness in the dawn which lifted our spirits considerably. We walked on in a meditative trance for a few miles and then Inverness got closer and closer and the next thing we knew Avril and Jill were waiting to meet us before we got to the Aquadrome and THE END!!!!Hooray.
Avril drove us back to her house and we collapsed for a few hours sleep before catching up with everyone else later on and we had a great celebration that evening in RocPool in Inverness.
The fundraising has been fantastic and we have smashed through our original target and it is still growing! Thank you all so much for participating in this either by doing it or helping to support the team and by fundraising it is for a great cause. The biggest boost for the whole team was having Gerry there with us, just a few weeks post-transplant. He is keen to do The Monster next year...so if any of you want to sign up again......
9 x 3 is 29
good night
Deputy Blogger
Thursday, May 10, 2007
One step back
Nothing too serious but there was a few days of "payback" for my efforts at the Monster Bike and Hike. I thought I was doing well to do support from 5am to 10pm and then take the kids swimming the next day, before finally driving down to Edinburgh with my family. Actually it seems like I was overdoing it a bit, over the next two days I could hardly get out of bed, never mind stick to my gym routine, as waves of fatigue took over once the adrenaline of the event had passed.
However no harm seems to have been done and today my energy levels are returning to reasonable levels, helped by the good sleeps of the past few days, and a good diet which was a bit missing during the weekend. So organic soups, fruit smoothies, fish and lamb main courses have all been consumed and my stomach is returning to normal.
The hospital team are pretty pleased with my bloodwork as my haemoglobin level has gone up to 130 (was 100 for weeks but should be 180 when I am well) so is finally starting to recover while white blood cells and platlets are all about normal now. I saw Dr Scott today and she continues to be surprised at the speed of my recovery, she encourages my agressive approach to exercise, within the limits we have set, while preparing me mentally for possible complications. She remined me it is normal for folks in my position to have 2 or 3 short returns to hospital when infections or other complications take hold. I of course am hoping that my drive for fitness will make me the exception, but I know there is a good chance I will be caught out. In the meantime it looks like the medics are going to stretch out my hospital appointments to once per week and then in a few weeks once per two weeks which will be great (less needles).
Having got the immediate post hospital recovery out of the way ( ie got past sickness, upset tummy and sleeping all the time) and having got the Monster out of the way Lee and I are starting to open up our horizions to the future. Tonight we are looking at holiday cottages for July or August, tomorrow night I think we will try and go out for our first resturant dinner as a couple since the transplant to celebrate being home and being pretty normal. We did not feel like celebrating when I got out of hospital, basically because I still felt terrible, but I think a milestone has been crossed now and we can relax a bit into a more normal life with convalesance taking the place of work for me for a few months.
On the more mundane side I did, with some help, finally get my beloved MG going for the MG club meeting last night and enjoyed discussing the fitments for the new fuel pump with the guys there. Lee took the bluesmobile to Aberdeen so after that, and the Inverness trip, it is in need of some TLC once the showers stop (the weather has been terrible since the Monster hike in Scotland they were lucky to have the last good day for a week). It looks like Lee's business is finally going to go forward as we have agreement on the set up from her Research Institute and just need to get the legal documents sorted. So life is busy enough.
So this week was a good measure of how much I have recovered and how much I still need to recover but I am feeling pretty positive overall and looking forward to getting stronger day by day.
Cheers
Gerry
However no harm seems to have been done and today my energy levels are returning to reasonable levels, helped by the good sleeps of the past few days, and a good diet which was a bit missing during the weekend. So organic soups, fruit smoothies, fish and lamb main courses have all been consumed and my stomach is returning to normal.
The hospital team are pretty pleased with my bloodwork as my haemoglobin level has gone up to 130 (was 100 for weeks but should be 180 when I am well) so is finally starting to recover while white blood cells and platlets are all about normal now. I saw Dr Scott today and she continues to be surprised at the speed of my recovery, she encourages my agressive approach to exercise, within the limits we have set, while preparing me mentally for possible complications. She remined me it is normal for folks in my position to have 2 or 3 short returns to hospital when infections or other complications take hold. I of course am hoping that my drive for fitness will make me the exception, but I know there is a good chance I will be caught out. In the meantime it looks like the medics are going to stretch out my hospital appointments to once per week and then in a few weeks once per two weeks which will be great (less needles).
Having got the immediate post hospital recovery out of the way ( ie got past sickness, upset tummy and sleeping all the time) and having got the Monster out of the way Lee and I are starting to open up our horizions to the future. Tonight we are looking at holiday cottages for July or August, tomorrow night I think we will try and go out for our first resturant dinner as a couple since the transplant to celebrate being home and being pretty normal. We did not feel like celebrating when I got out of hospital, basically because I still felt terrible, but I think a milestone has been crossed now and we can relax a bit into a more normal life with convalesance taking the place of work for me for a few months.
On the more mundane side I did, with some help, finally get my beloved MG going for the MG club meeting last night and enjoyed discussing the fitments for the new fuel pump with the guys there. Lee took the bluesmobile to Aberdeen so after that, and the Inverness trip, it is in need of some TLC once the showers stop (the weather has been terrible since the Monster hike in Scotland they were lucky to have the last good day for a week). It looks like Lee's business is finally going to go forward as we have agreement on the set up from her Research Institute and just need to get the legal documents sorted. So life is busy enough.
So this week was a good measure of how much I have recovered and how much I still need to recover but I am feeling pretty positive overall and looking forward to getting stronger day by day.
Cheers
Gerry
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
The Monster
It should really be the victorious deputy blogger who pens the update on the Monster Bike and Hike but she has zoomed off to Aberdeen for a two day work meeting so its up to me, who just watched, to do the updating.
Good news first, despite many trials and tribulations, all the team made it to the 50 mile mark at Drumadrochit and all but three (Campbell, Lorna and Mike) pushed on through the night to the 70 mile finish at Inverness which was amazing. Everyone found it much harder than expected as there was quite a bit of ascent and descent at the main stops, some of it quite steep, and the first bike section was much more narrow and "off road" than anyone expected.
Lee's brother Alex and his friend Ian set a blistering pace at the front, managing to finish the whole thing by midnight and even jogging into the finish, clearly some significant training had gone on there. Then a big bunch of folks came in around 3am including the badly limping Philip, who's old knee injury combined with a lack of training to make his walk very difficult, and Colin who promptly collapsed at the finish and had to have medical support to recover. Lee and Duncan slugged it out to make it in at 5.30am, delirious, but very happy to have managed the distance, specially with Duncan having massive blisters for soles of his feet. Lee did not fair too badly, despite the absence of poles, so her training paid off and you could see in the group the folks who had done the training clearly fared better than the no training (Philip) or "drinking red wine" training (Duncan) folks.
Our support logistics worked well and everyone was met at the checkpoints with a friendly face and gear changes/soup/coffee/porridge etc no one got lost or abandoned. I helped with Jim run one support car while Rose, Nora, Michelle and Ivana were in the others - unfortunately by 10pm I was so tired I had to go to bed, so I missed the finish, my stamina still has a long way to go! Sunday was a wipe out of sleeping bodies, injury treatment and war stories which we finished up with a nice dinner in Inverness, for those who could make it, to celebrate the achievement. Although all the money is not yet counted we stand to have raised around £15k for the Maggies charity so it was well worth while.
Monday was taken up with the long haul home for everyone and a very welcome bath and sleep under a home duvet, we all went to bed early and slept like logs last night. Today the normal routine of school for the girls, hospital check up for me, and work for Lee has intruded again - my check up was fine and the rest of my day is gym, shopping and homework with the kids.
So many thanks to all the Monster Team and the Support Team, and the family support team, for a great weekend which I think will be recalled many, many times when we meet again, even if only to say "never again" in some cases. Jim and I are toying with the idea of doing it next year as a team with Lee and Lorna in support. He has to see about his knee and I need to discuss it with my doctors before we decide - it may be a good "end target" for my get fit work, we will see!
No doubt deputy blogger will have a more humorous update when she returns from Aberdeen but for now we are resting up and recovering !
Cheers
Gerry
Good news first, despite many trials and tribulations, all the team made it to the 50 mile mark at Drumadrochit and all but three (Campbell, Lorna and Mike) pushed on through the night to the 70 mile finish at Inverness which was amazing. Everyone found it much harder than expected as there was quite a bit of ascent and descent at the main stops, some of it quite steep, and the first bike section was much more narrow and "off road" than anyone expected.
Lee's brother Alex and his friend Ian set a blistering pace at the front, managing to finish the whole thing by midnight and even jogging into the finish, clearly some significant training had gone on there. Then a big bunch of folks came in around 3am including the badly limping Philip, who's old knee injury combined with a lack of training to make his walk very difficult, and Colin who promptly collapsed at the finish and had to have medical support to recover. Lee and Duncan slugged it out to make it in at 5.30am, delirious, but very happy to have managed the distance, specially with Duncan having massive blisters for soles of his feet. Lee did not fair too badly, despite the absence of poles, so her training paid off and you could see in the group the folks who had done the training clearly fared better than the no training (Philip) or "drinking red wine" training (Duncan) folks.
Our support logistics worked well and everyone was met at the checkpoints with a friendly face and gear changes/soup/coffee/porridge etc no one got lost or abandoned. I helped with Jim run one support car while Rose, Nora, Michelle and Ivana were in the others - unfortunately by 10pm I was so tired I had to go to bed, so I missed the finish, my stamina still has a long way to go! Sunday was a wipe out of sleeping bodies, injury treatment and war stories which we finished up with a nice dinner in Inverness, for those who could make it, to celebrate the achievement. Although all the money is not yet counted we stand to have raised around £15k for the Maggies charity so it was well worth while.
Monday was taken up with the long haul home for everyone and a very welcome bath and sleep under a home duvet, we all went to bed early and slept like logs last night. Today the normal routine of school for the girls, hospital check up for me, and work for Lee has intruded again - my check up was fine and the rest of my day is gym, shopping and homework with the kids.
So many thanks to all the Monster Team and the Support Team, and the family support team, for a great weekend which I think will be recalled many, many times when we meet again, even if only to say "never again" in some cases. Jim and I are toying with the idea of doing it next year as a team with Lee and Lorna in support. He has to see about his knee and I need to discuss it with my doctors before we decide - it may be a good "end target" for my get fit work, we will see!
No doubt deputy blogger will have a more humorous update when she returns from Aberdeen but for now we are resting up and recovering !
Cheers
Gerry
Thursday, May 03, 2007
BASE CAMP
Today the Mulligan clan has set off en-mass for the Monster Bike and Hike base camp. Philip, Debbie, Mum and Matthew got on easyjet and flew to Edinburgh to meet up with our team and convoy up the road for the 5 hr trip. I leant Philip the Aston Martin so he had a lot of fun zooming up Glencoe and the side of Loch Ness with Debbie and Matthew. There was a moment when he managed to dismantle the key and stop the immobiliser working but thankfully he solved the problem before it became a crisis, he still has a fixed grin and a windswept look!. We followed at a more sedate pace in the jeep and are just settling into our nice chalet with a medicinal gin and tonic.
My sister brenda and all her crew shook themselves out of bed at 5am to get the early boat and cruised up through Scotland to the chalets so when little brother Kevin and Nora get here tomorrow it will be a full house of the Mulligan clan all decamped to scotland. We have an easy day tomorrow before the action starts early on Saturday. My job will be to offer coffee, bacon butties and porridge to the weary bikers and walkers from the jeep which is stocked up with cookers and gear for that purpose.
On the recovery front I continue to impersonate a gym rat but have to run all the machines at minimal resistance as just sitting on the bike in the gym gets my heartbeat up to 130 and I am only allowed to run at 140 target for my exercises. Anyway even at trivial resistance settings I am managing to do more than an hour a day at the gym and my resting heartbeat is coming down slowely which indicates that the exercise is working. I am fully off my anti-nausea medications now which is a relief so only am popping two types of pills in comparison to the seven or so I had when I left hospital. Onward and upward but carefully.
I think Lee may be making a speech at the opening party for the bike and hike tomorrow night as the folks at Maggies asked her to possibily be ready, I suspect it may be a tirade against poles ending in a mass throwing into the Loch! As we drove a good part of the route today I think the distance is daunting for them a bit, my brother Philip who has stood in for Jim at the last minute has done almost no training so he is a bit nervous about the whole thing. I am sure folks will have a good time and go as far as they can.
So goodnight from our luxurious base camp, we will keep you all posted as the event unfolds.
Cheers
Gerry
My sister brenda and all her crew shook themselves out of bed at 5am to get the early boat and cruised up through Scotland to the chalets so when little brother Kevin and Nora get here tomorrow it will be a full house of the Mulligan clan all decamped to scotland. We have an easy day tomorrow before the action starts early on Saturday. My job will be to offer coffee, bacon butties and porridge to the weary bikers and walkers from the jeep which is stocked up with cookers and gear for that purpose.
On the recovery front I continue to impersonate a gym rat but have to run all the machines at minimal resistance as just sitting on the bike in the gym gets my heartbeat up to 130 and I am only allowed to run at 140 target for my exercises. Anyway even at trivial resistance settings I am managing to do more than an hour a day at the gym and my resting heartbeat is coming down slowely which indicates that the exercise is working. I am fully off my anti-nausea medications now which is a relief so only am popping two types of pills in comparison to the seven or so I had when I left hospital. Onward and upward but carefully.
I think Lee may be making a speech at the opening party for the bike and hike tomorrow night as the folks at Maggies asked her to possibily be ready, I suspect it may be a tirade against poles ending in a mass throwing into the Loch! As we drove a good part of the route today I think the distance is daunting for them a bit, my brother Philip who has stood in for Jim at the last minute has done almost no training so he is a bit nervous about the whole thing. I am sure folks will have a good time and go as far as they can.
So goodnight from our luxurious base camp, we will keep you all posted as the event unfolds.
Cheers
Gerry
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
I would walk 500 miles........
Evening bloggers!
Finished a final training hike tonight over the Braid hills with a brief stop on the top to admire the sunset over Edinburgh, deck a bottle of champagne and a few roll ups with chief coach Ian. Did the decent thing and threw the poles from a great height onto braid hills golf course narrowly missing a couple of foxes.
We did an approx calculation of the fundraising so far and think we have smashed our target of £10K and moving on up..... Thanks so much to everyone who has helped to raise this sponsorship, it is for a great cause and will make a real difference..so be inspired and one step at a time to Inverness this weekend, coast to coast.
G has organised us all into cars, chalets, start times etc and Duncan has sorted out a party for Sunday evening in Inverness.
I have to confess to have really enjoyed the training for this event ! I love getting up really early in the morning and heading of up the Pentlands before the city is awake. On Saturday there was a bit of a har in and visibility was poor. However, when you got to the top of the first peak you were in bright sunshine and the other peaks looked like the humps of whales in a sea of clouds.
Have packed my tweed suit and brogues, green flash and trusty tin of cremola foam. Goretex of course! chocolate and Irn Bru. All set....
For anyone who still wants to contribute our web page is: www.justgiving.com/gerrysblogteam
Will update you on the event and post a few team pictures.
deputy blogger
xx
Finished a final training hike tonight over the Braid hills with a brief stop on the top to admire the sunset over Edinburgh, deck a bottle of champagne and a few roll ups with chief coach Ian. Did the decent thing and threw the poles from a great height onto braid hills golf course narrowly missing a couple of foxes.
We did an approx calculation of the fundraising so far and think we have smashed our target of £10K and moving on up..... Thanks so much to everyone who has helped to raise this sponsorship, it is for a great cause and will make a real difference..so be inspired and one step at a time to Inverness this weekend, coast to coast.
G has organised us all into cars, chalets, start times etc and Duncan has sorted out a party for Sunday evening in Inverness.
I have to confess to have really enjoyed the training for this event ! I love getting up really early in the morning and heading of up the Pentlands before the city is awake. On Saturday there was a bit of a har in and visibility was poor. However, when you got to the top of the first peak you were in bright sunshine and the other peaks looked like the humps of whales in a sea of clouds.
Have packed my tweed suit and brogues, green flash and trusty tin of cremola foam. Goretex of course! chocolate and Irn Bru. All set....
For anyone who still wants to contribute our web page is: www.justgiving.com/gerrysblogteam
Will update you on the event and post a few team pictures.
deputy blogger
xx
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Happy Birthday Gore Shenzhen
This weekend was Gore Shenzhens 5th birthday which is a big milestone for the team there that I worked with for a few years. I would normally have been there for the event and to congratulate all the great associates that we recruited five years ago to start the company but sadly I had to give it a miss. I heard that the event went well from colleagues who attended so Happy Birthday to all the team!
Otherwise things have been going smoothly here in Mulligan towers, exercise program has been started at the gym, cars have been cleaned inside and out in time for the big exodus to the Monster Bike and Hike next weekend. My next project is bringing the MG out of hibernation, the new fuel pump and filter are here but the poor car has been abandoned in the garage for three months so I will have to work through it bit by bit to get it going again. First thing on monday is the transplant club and blood tests in the hospital - and wednesday is the MG club meeting so that will be my target to get the pump changed and the car running properly again.
So no news is good news recovery continues to go well, no complaints from me !
Cheers
Gerry
Otherwise things have been going smoothly here in Mulligan towers, exercise program has been started at the gym, cars have been cleaned inside and out in time for the big exodus to the Monster Bike and Hike next weekend. My next project is bringing the MG out of hibernation, the new fuel pump and filter are here but the poor car has been abandoned in the garage for three months so I will have to work through it bit by bit to get it going again. First thing on monday is the transplant club and blood tests in the hospital - and wednesday is the MG club meeting so that will be my target to get the pump changed and the car running properly again.
So no news is good news recovery continues to go well, no complaints from me !
Cheers
Gerry
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Gold star and better day by day
Today I went to see Dr Scott along with some of the "team" who are looking after us transplant patients including Liz the transplant coordinator and one of the lead staff nurses from the support unit. In summary Dr Scott said I was doing "amazingly well" which is pretty heady stuff as she is quite understated. She reminded me I should still be in hospital apart from my good luck at not getting infections, so if my pulse was a bit high walking or cycling up a slope the real question was what the hell was I doing trying to walk or run up a slope when I should be on IV drips and morphine. I have to admit the competitive me was quite pleased, and I was reassured that it was OK to exercise up in the 150-160 range for an hour or so a day as long as my heart did not palpitate at rest. The bottom line from her, and other advice, was take it steady a little every day, use the monitor and do not push above the safe range indicated, if I feel unwell stop. Which is what I was doing so that's fine.
Dr Scott also repeated the advice on temperature, if its over 38 do not pass go, do not go to ER, phone and go directly to the cancer ward, as I do not have the immune system to fight of a serious infection. So scary warnings along with good encouragement that my program of exercise, though surprising, is the right thing to do - within limits which are well defined by my heart rate. I feel that I can make a difference now I am out of the hands of chemicals and drips so I am using my mental energy and determination to move things forward within the safe limits.
Having had a good morning in the hospital, including blood extraction with a needle which did not hurt at all, I decided to tackle one of my favourite things, polishing my Aston Martin, in the afternoon. I was very pleased with the results as some light scratches polished out totally and the car looks fantastic. I have always liked cleaning cars properly for me it is like a zen practice, you need a lot of patience and the results are very rewarding. So I had a few hours to gently work away panel by panel on the car with Tcut and high gloss polish, at the weekend the interior and the wheels will get the treatment so the car will be pristine in time for Philip my brother to borrow it for the run to the Monster hike. I will direct him up the Glencoe road which is one of the best drives in the UK lets hope the weather allows him to do the run with the roof down. Next on my radar is that MG fuel pump and the grass cutting.
This evening I took Poppy and Holly to our favourite Italian restaurant, I like these evenings as when there is one adult and the two girls we get to chat about things that would not happen if all four of us were together. This evening conversations ranged from cancer stuff (when would my eyelashes and hair grow back) to computer games, Marylin Monroe films and school trips, all in all a really nice evening. Lee has gone out with Sarah to a regular wine tasting at the cafe across the road, I would not be able to deal with that amount of wine so bowed out. This reminds us of the need we all have to let our hair down and chill out even (or specially) in the middle of stressful times. Throughout the last six months time out alone with our friends has been important for both of us to keep the fun going among the battles, setbacks and victory's. I think this weekend may see my first proper curry and my first half pint of proper beer with Nick back at our favourite pub on Sunday night.
So all is well here, no doubt at some time some bug is going to get me and knock me back a bit, but in the meantime I am pushing the envelope within safe limits, the fitter I am when it happens the faster I will recover.
Cheers
Gerry
Dr Scott also repeated the advice on temperature, if its over 38 do not pass go, do not go to ER, phone and go directly to the cancer ward, as I do not have the immune system to fight of a serious infection. So scary warnings along with good encouragement that my program of exercise, though surprising, is the right thing to do - within limits which are well defined by my heart rate. I feel that I can make a difference now I am out of the hands of chemicals and drips so I am using my mental energy and determination to move things forward within the safe limits.
Having had a good morning in the hospital, including blood extraction with a needle which did not hurt at all, I decided to tackle one of my favourite things, polishing my Aston Martin, in the afternoon. I was very pleased with the results as some light scratches polished out totally and the car looks fantastic. I have always liked cleaning cars properly for me it is like a zen practice, you need a lot of patience and the results are very rewarding. So I had a few hours to gently work away panel by panel on the car with Tcut and high gloss polish, at the weekend the interior and the wheels will get the treatment so the car will be pristine in time for Philip my brother to borrow it for the run to the Monster hike. I will direct him up the Glencoe road which is one of the best drives in the UK lets hope the weather allows him to do the run with the roof down. Next on my radar is that MG fuel pump and the grass cutting.
This evening I took Poppy and Holly to our favourite Italian restaurant, I like these evenings as when there is one adult and the two girls we get to chat about things that would not happen if all four of us were together. This evening conversations ranged from cancer stuff (when would my eyelashes and hair grow back) to computer games, Marylin Monroe films and school trips, all in all a really nice evening. Lee has gone out with Sarah to a regular wine tasting at the cafe across the road, I would not be able to deal with that amount of wine so bowed out. This reminds us of the need we all have to let our hair down and chill out even (or specially) in the middle of stressful times. Throughout the last six months time out alone with our friends has been important for both of us to keep the fun going among the battles, setbacks and victory's. I think this weekend may see my first proper curry and my first half pint of proper beer with Nick back at our favourite pub on Sunday night.
So all is well here, no doubt at some time some bug is going to get me and knock me back a bit, but in the meantime I am pushing the envelope within safe limits, the fitter I am when it happens the faster I will recover.
Cheers
Gerry
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Gearing up
Yesterday was spent "gearing up" for my fitness routine, with the purchase of a pedometer to measure distance and a heart rate monitor to keep an eye on my work rate, following my friend Gary's good advice. This involved walking to town and back, along the way picking up some music books for the kids and stopping at Starbucks for coffee, so it was a pretty good one hour or more walking with the break in the middle, once again I was sweating like I had run about five miles and today, when I got up, my legs were a little stiff, just as if I had started jogging again. I did manage to do some computer stuff for lee on her business case in the afternoon, so all in all it was a good day mentally and phisically, and I had a pretty good sleep.
Today I set off to the climbing shop on my bike to get Lee some supplies for the monster bike and hike, this time with my heart rate monitor etc so I could set some baselines for my training, I was shocked to find that my resting heart rate is now 100 bpm (was 80 prior to treatment) and when I just pedaled along or walked up the street this rose to 130-140, with any sort of a gentle incline this hit 165. Around 145 is the rate my heart would beat jogging quite fast before treatment so gentle cycling is equal to the most strenous exercise I would have done in the past. At 165 I got off the bike and walked/rested as I felt faint. So at least I am getting a good feel for the performance of my main systems. I joined the local gym today and have a plan to see their resident trainer tomorrow to discuss a managed exercise program to very gently get my fitness back over the next two months.
I have my first post transplant session with Dr Scott tomorrow so I will bring up the issues around the high heart rates and other symptoms and see what she says, perhaps the hospital have some physio advisors who can give me some advice on my exercise program. Overall though I think she will be pleased with my recovery so far, compared to most folk I am doing better day by day and not sleeping so much has actually made me feel more awake and alert so that was a great tip.
Apart from concentrating on my build up, and supporting Lee with her business negoiations, I find I have little time for much other than making the dinner for the family and tidying up the debris they leave behind as they run out the door in the morning. I treat myself to soup at the cafe and read the paper but otherwise I am living the life of a housewife, I can see how you could do this full time and actually fill your day quite well, if you spend about 2-3 hrs on fitness the rest is swept up with routine stuff very easily!
So with broom in hand
Cheers
Gerry
Today I set off to the climbing shop on my bike to get Lee some supplies for the monster bike and hike, this time with my heart rate monitor etc so I could set some baselines for my training, I was shocked to find that my resting heart rate is now 100 bpm (was 80 prior to treatment) and when I just pedaled along or walked up the street this rose to 130-140, with any sort of a gentle incline this hit 165. Around 145 is the rate my heart would beat jogging quite fast before treatment so gentle cycling is equal to the most strenous exercise I would have done in the past. At 165 I got off the bike and walked/rested as I felt faint. So at least I am getting a good feel for the performance of my main systems. I joined the local gym today and have a plan to see their resident trainer tomorrow to discuss a managed exercise program to very gently get my fitness back over the next two months.
I have my first post transplant session with Dr Scott tomorrow so I will bring up the issues around the high heart rates and other symptoms and see what she says, perhaps the hospital have some physio advisors who can give me some advice on my exercise program. Overall though I think she will be pleased with my recovery so far, compared to most folk I am doing better day by day and not sleeping so much has actually made me feel more awake and alert so that was a great tip.
Apart from concentrating on my build up, and supporting Lee with her business negoiations, I find I have little time for much other than making the dinner for the family and tidying up the debris they leave behind as they run out the door in the morning. I treat myself to soup at the cafe and read the paper but otherwise I am living the life of a housewife, I can see how you could do this full time and actually fill your day quite well, if you spend about 2-3 hrs on fitness the rest is swept up with routine stuff very easily!
So with broom in hand
Cheers
Gerry
Monday, April 23, 2007
The Transplant club and life after treatment
Today was my first visit to the "transplant club", this is the clinic for blood sampling and transfusions and the coordinating nurse Liz gets all us post transplant folk together on Monday so we can get the necessary medical support, but also chat to each other about how we are feeling and what is working for us. This has been a great thing for me as I was able to chat to two women who were released a few days before me and they also are feeling sick all the time and run out of energy. Somehow knowing it is normal, and that eventually this too will pass, is a great help with mentally coping with being so weak and sick. My counts were a bit low but the team decided against any transplants as they want to keep a "hole" in the levels so that the body is stimulated to fill the hole and get the stem cells moving. The good news is that meant I was only in the hospital for a few hours rather than all day.
I did get some good advice from Liz, firstly try to keep the sickness meds on full strength rather than the half strength I had been coping with, and try to eat between meals to keep the stomach working on something. The purchase of a banana milk shake on the way out of the hospital did settle my stomach so that was a fine tip, her other tip was to cut out sleeping during the day and when I feel sleepy go for a walk instead, this again is generating a need for fitness to encourage the body to build it up. I must admit I was a bit sceptical about this latter advice but never the less, after a lunch of real fresh tomato and basil soup at the cafe across the road, I set off round the park in the very light rain. Three park benches and a lot of huffing and sweat later I got home, all in all about three quarters of hour of slow walking was completed. Now that I have cooled down and taken on board about a pint of fluids I do feel better, pleasantly tired but not sleepy.
Finally I have been surprised that I am not "happy" to have been released and do not yet feel like celebrating, I thought I was just daunted by the amount of distance I have to go to feel OK again, and pissed off at feeling sick. However I went to the Maggie's centre and got some great articles on how people feel when recovering from cancer, when treatment has left them temporary a shadow of their former self physically. I got a great article on how folk feel which has made me feel a lot better about my current position, and made me start to face the different elements of emotional recovery, you can read it at http://www.cctrust.org.uk/article3.htm if you have a relative or close friend in the same position of me it will help you make sense of the complex tides of emotion which they are dealing with. The always excellent www.cancerbackup.co.uk has a booklet and online section entitled "Adjusting to life after cancer treatment" which is also very clear and helpful.
In essence these good sources identify that once your treatment is "finished", you feel crap, your body does not work properly, you lose confidence in your heath, you worry that the cancer might not be cured, you are fatigued, scared and the support from heath care professionals and others falls off as you are "just resting until you feel fine again". In the meantime a lot of the emotions you were keeping in check to ensure you had your fighting head on during the treatment start to slip out around the edges, anger, fear, frustration being just a few. I personally find knowing this is happening and anticipating to some extent allows me to recognise and manage the fall out as I work through the phases, so this has been a great learning day for me.
I just need to remember not to tell the next person who next complements me on how I "look so well" to "F**k of as I feel crap, angry and frustrated", this would be perfectly understandable according to my booklet but probably would not go down so well in the real world.... A nice thought though. So my two top tips for the day for talking to folk dealing with cancer before and after treatment.
Before
DON'T say "you'll be fine you've got a great attitude" cause they might not be, you have no clue, this is just you making yourself feel better.
DO say something like "I hope/pray it goes as well as possible for you, can I help in any way?"
After
DON'T say "its great that your cured/well/ back to normal" cause they might not be, probably are feeling crap and scared, and then have to pretend to be happy and fine.
DO say "how do you feel" or "its great the treatment part is finished, hows the recovery going" then if they are fine they can say so and if they are feeling bad they can say so and if they want to lift a glass to second (or third) chances at life with you they can do so.
Of course all of this can be ignored in my case as I am going to tell you how I feel anyway in my new extrovert assertive and touchy feely mode !!
As one third of us will get cancer at any point these little tips may help you through it if you have not worked it out yourself already, I know I had not.
Cheers
Gerry
I did get some good advice from Liz, firstly try to keep the sickness meds on full strength rather than the half strength I had been coping with, and try to eat between meals to keep the stomach working on something. The purchase of a banana milk shake on the way out of the hospital did settle my stomach so that was a fine tip, her other tip was to cut out sleeping during the day and when I feel sleepy go for a walk instead, this again is generating a need for fitness to encourage the body to build it up. I must admit I was a bit sceptical about this latter advice but never the less, after a lunch of real fresh tomato and basil soup at the cafe across the road, I set off round the park in the very light rain. Three park benches and a lot of huffing and sweat later I got home, all in all about three quarters of hour of slow walking was completed. Now that I have cooled down and taken on board about a pint of fluids I do feel better, pleasantly tired but not sleepy.
Finally I have been surprised that I am not "happy" to have been released and do not yet feel like celebrating, I thought I was just daunted by the amount of distance I have to go to feel OK again, and pissed off at feeling sick. However I went to the Maggie's centre and got some great articles on how people feel when recovering from cancer, when treatment has left them temporary a shadow of their former self physically. I got a great article on how folk feel which has made me feel a lot better about my current position, and made me start to face the different elements of emotional recovery, you can read it at http://www.cctrust.org.uk/article3.htm if you have a relative or close friend in the same position of me it will help you make sense of the complex tides of emotion which they are dealing with. The always excellent www.cancerbackup.co.uk has a booklet and online section entitled "Adjusting to life after cancer treatment" which is also very clear and helpful.
In essence these good sources identify that once your treatment is "finished", you feel crap, your body does not work properly, you lose confidence in your heath, you worry that the cancer might not be cured, you are fatigued, scared and the support from heath care professionals and others falls off as you are "just resting until you feel fine again". In the meantime a lot of the emotions you were keeping in check to ensure you had your fighting head on during the treatment start to slip out around the edges, anger, fear, frustration being just a few. I personally find knowing this is happening and anticipating to some extent allows me to recognise and manage the fall out as I work through the phases, so this has been a great learning day for me.
I just need to remember not to tell the next person who next complements me on how I "look so well" to "F**k of as I feel crap, angry and frustrated", this would be perfectly understandable according to my booklet but probably would not go down so well in the real world.... A nice thought though. So my two top tips for the day for talking to folk dealing with cancer before and after treatment.
Before
DON'T say "you'll be fine you've got a great attitude" cause they might not be, you have no clue, this is just you making yourself feel better.
DO say something like "I hope/pray it goes as well as possible for you, can I help in any way?"
After
DON'T say "its great that your cured/well/ back to normal" cause they might not be, probably are feeling crap and scared, and then have to pretend to be happy and fine.
DO say "how do you feel" or "its great the treatment part is finished, hows the recovery going" then if they are fine they can say so and if they are feeling bad they can say so and if they want to lift a glass to second (or third) chances at life with you they can do so.
Of course all of this can be ignored in my case as I am going to tell you how I feel anyway in my new extrovert assertive and touchy feely mode !!
As one third of us will get cancer at any point these little tips may help you through it if you have not worked it out yourself already, I know I had not.
Cheers
Gerry
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Short of puff
Well things are going pretty well on the home front, make no mistake I am still pretty sick but at least mentally my head is in a gentle recovery phase. Issues at the moment are primarily feeling sick all the time, the anti nausea tablets help but I walk around all day thinking about throwing up as I have a horrible taste at the back of my throat like I was just about to. The tablets have meant I have not actually done it but its pretty miserable feeling like this all the time, today for the first time there were a few hours when this was not the case. No need to say this has kept the cork in the bottle of champagne still.
The other major issue, which I think means I will need a blood transfusion tomorrow at my check up, is running out of puff. This is usually a sign of very low red blood cells in my blood, for instance I got the car out for a polish today after it was charged up, took it to the garage to fill it up, took down the roof - and put it back in the garage unpolished, no puff left at all, in fact it was an effort to stay focused long enough to get it in the garage without hitting the narrow door. Once again I have to pause half way up the stair to our flat to breath a lot so I think low haemoglobin is the cause. I am fine if I stay more or less still, like at the computer just now so my mind is willing but the body is weak.
Fatigue is a more minor problem, as no one is expecting me to do much I just lie down when I feel tired and I end up sleeping 2-3 hrs in the course of a day as well as going to bed at 10pm getting up at 10am. So a bit of a sleepyhead.
Keeping me busy when I am awake has been organising the logistics of getting about 20 people to the Monster bike and Hike, my outline of who has to be where in what car etc is now in its third iteration as folks chop and change plans and who wants to be in chalets with who etc. We seem to be getting close to a final plan at last which is a relief. My other interest is the setting up of Lee's company her current employers have made some pretty tough demands so the best of my life's lessons on how to negotiate to a reasonable outcome are being put to the test.
The weather continues to be kind here and I continue to watch the grass grow instead of cutting it as I should if I had some puff, lets hope next week will see me with more energy and less nausea but in reality as on average I should still be in hospital I am still doing quite well.
So a wobbly body update from me but a happy mind as long as I do not try to do too much!
Cheers
Gerry
The other major issue, which I think means I will need a blood transfusion tomorrow at my check up, is running out of puff. This is usually a sign of very low red blood cells in my blood, for instance I got the car out for a polish today after it was charged up, took it to the garage to fill it up, took down the roof - and put it back in the garage unpolished, no puff left at all, in fact it was an effort to stay focused long enough to get it in the garage without hitting the narrow door. Once again I have to pause half way up the stair to our flat to breath a lot so I think low haemoglobin is the cause. I am fine if I stay more or less still, like at the computer just now so my mind is willing but the body is weak.
Fatigue is a more minor problem, as no one is expecting me to do much I just lie down when I feel tired and I end up sleeping 2-3 hrs in the course of a day as well as going to bed at 10pm getting up at 10am. So a bit of a sleepyhead.
Keeping me busy when I am awake has been organising the logistics of getting about 20 people to the Monster bike and Hike, my outline of who has to be where in what car etc is now in its third iteration as folks chop and change plans and who wants to be in chalets with who etc. We seem to be getting close to a final plan at last which is a relief. My other interest is the setting up of Lee's company her current employers have made some pretty tough demands so the best of my life's lessons on how to negotiate to a reasonable outcome are being put to the test.
The weather continues to be kind here and I continue to watch the grass grow instead of cutting it as I should if I had some puff, lets hope next week will see me with more energy and less nausea but in reality as on average I should still be in hospital I am still doing quite well.
So a wobbly body update from me but a happy mind as long as I do not try to do too much!
Cheers
Gerry
Friday, April 20, 2007
FREEDOM !!
As you can probably tell from the title I made it back home finally, nearly setting a transplant record, but someone did it two days faster than me once. I have been incredibly lucky as patients often go five weeks in hospital, compared to my three, and are often spending a lot of that time with morphine pumps knocking them out so that they can bear the discomfort. I got off very lightly with only about four days of feeling really bad in the three weeks I was in hospital. One thing for sure if anyone comes near me with Mephfan again I am going to run away, I think you can only do that once in a lifetime.
So I am home but am a curious mix of fine (in mind) and wobbly (in body), being at home gives me so much positive mental energy, distractions, cooking and the ebb and flow of the household all hold me in a warm embrace so I am really happy to be here rather than brooding in my cell in the hospital. The wobbly starts with the number of pills I need to support the transplant, constant profound fatigue, residual nausea and half functioning digestive system, with lots of rest during the day when the house is quiet, with anti-sickness meds most of these symptoms are manageable. Each day I try to set myself gentle targets or tasks which take an hour or two, yesterday I rewired a plug from round to square pin in the Aston garage so I could plug in the battery charger and bring it back to life. Today I am going to make a logistics plan for the Maggie's Bike and Hike challenge and unpack from the hospital. These little targets along with a lot of sleeping, keep my mind busy, but can be dropped at any time when the wave of fatigue hits. It can be quite funny when this happens as its almost like being drunk, I just have to lie down and can't even finish my sentences when it hits.
Overall I can't believe how well I feel already only days after feeling so bad, having an immune system is a great thing! One thing I am not looking forward to is going to the twice weekly clinics as without my Hickman line (they took it out Tuesday) all the blood samples are taken by needle which I hate, specially as my veins are shot and it often takes them a few goes to get one to bleed properly. However at least I no longer have pipes coming out of my chest to frighten kids and dampen my romantic life (though fatigue has taken care of that for a while anyway).
I am setting Monday as my target to start very gentle physical exercise, I need to get a heart monitor and a pedometer to be able to measure progress, and to ensure I do not overdo things. My friend Gary Henderson is going to put together some advice for me, as he coaches retired folks in swimming he has a lot of experience with folks building up from a fragile base in the right way.
As to fun I am looking forward to the Maggie's bike and hike as I am so far ahead of schedule I think we will all go up and stay in the lodges we hired, as the participants do the walk we can drive along to meet them at the checkpoints. I can sleep or help with the support team as my strength dictates. So far wobbly tummy and nausea has kept the cork in the champagne bottle but at some point over the weekend perhaps half a glass might be allowed. As my counts are nearly normal for white blood cells I am not needing to be in isolation, I need to avoid cuts and actively ill people as my platelets are low and my immune system is relearning each bug so I don't want to overload it.
So "free at last" as the famous speech goes, if I am average I will end up back in the hospital twice in the next two months with fevers or temperature, if my luck holds and I am careful I may be able to avoid this and just have a slow steady progress to a less wobbly me!
Thanks again for all the visits, cards, emails and blog comments over the last three weeks they have really sustained me in the rougher days. I will probably try to keep you posted on a bi weekly basis now we are out of the critical zone.
Cheers
Gerry
So I am home but am a curious mix of fine (in mind) and wobbly (in body), being at home gives me so much positive mental energy, distractions, cooking and the ebb and flow of the household all hold me in a warm embrace so I am really happy to be here rather than brooding in my cell in the hospital. The wobbly starts with the number of pills I need to support the transplant, constant profound fatigue, residual nausea and half functioning digestive system, with lots of rest during the day when the house is quiet, with anti-sickness meds most of these symptoms are manageable. Each day I try to set myself gentle targets or tasks which take an hour or two, yesterday I rewired a plug from round to square pin in the Aston garage so I could plug in the battery charger and bring it back to life. Today I am going to make a logistics plan for the Maggie's Bike and Hike challenge and unpack from the hospital. These little targets along with a lot of sleeping, keep my mind busy, but can be dropped at any time when the wave of fatigue hits. It can be quite funny when this happens as its almost like being drunk, I just have to lie down and can't even finish my sentences when it hits.
Overall I can't believe how well I feel already only days after feeling so bad, having an immune system is a great thing! One thing I am not looking forward to is going to the twice weekly clinics as without my Hickman line (they took it out Tuesday) all the blood samples are taken by needle which I hate, specially as my veins are shot and it often takes them a few goes to get one to bleed properly. However at least I no longer have pipes coming out of my chest to frighten kids and dampen my romantic life (though fatigue has taken care of that for a while anyway).
I am setting Monday as my target to start very gentle physical exercise, I need to get a heart monitor and a pedometer to be able to measure progress, and to ensure I do not overdo things. My friend Gary Henderson is going to put together some advice for me, as he coaches retired folks in swimming he has a lot of experience with folks building up from a fragile base in the right way.
As to fun I am looking forward to the Maggie's bike and hike as I am so far ahead of schedule I think we will all go up and stay in the lodges we hired, as the participants do the walk we can drive along to meet them at the checkpoints. I can sleep or help with the support team as my strength dictates. So far wobbly tummy and nausea has kept the cork in the champagne bottle but at some point over the weekend perhaps half a glass might be allowed. As my counts are nearly normal for white blood cells I am not needing to be in isolation, I need to avoid cuts and actively ill people as my platelets are low and my immune system is relearning each bug so I don't want to overload it.
So "free at last" as the famous speech goes, if I am average I will end up back in the hospital twice in the next two months with fevers or temperature, if my luck holds and I am careful I may be able to avoid this and just have a slow steady progress to a less wobbly me!
Thanks again for all the visits, cards, emails and blog comments over the last three weeks they have really sustained me in the rougher days. I will probably try to keep you posted on a bi weekly basis now we are out of the critical zone.
Cheers
Gerry
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Preparing for Freedom
Things are going very here in isolation world. My blood counts continue to be strong, appitite is improving and other body functions are returning into the normal zone. I am doing so well the doctors are planning to probably remove my Hickman line today and to send me home tomorrow afternoon. The only issue is they need to find an oral antiboitic to replace the IV one which is fighting the blood bug war against pnemonia. I am almost in a daze at the speed of the recovery from a pretty horrible situation only four days ago.
The convalesence program is pretty long post treatment, it will take me at least three months to build up basic immunity and fitness before returning to some form of working. Not knowing what I will do on return is interesting so I will need to make a plan for that. Ideally some gentle problem fixing/internal consultancy will take me from September to the end of the year before a "proper job" with travelling etc comes up some time after January next year. I will be on significant medications to support the transplant until the end of this year and will need to avoid lots of travel and specially overnight returns from the USA in coach, my previous torture.
Once I get out of hospital I will start the dialogue with the team at Gore on possible short term projects and longer term solid contributions to the enterprise. That should be fun as I enjoy new challenges and opportunities.
In the short term I will need to get a gentle program of exercise and other mental activities to go along with my cooking hobby to prevent "post trauma" syndrome. Apparently a lot of folks who go through this kind of emotional roller coaster find it difficult to adjust back into normal life and have enthuasium for all the usual small challenges of daily life, even Lance Armstrong lay around the house for a few months before he kicked himself into gear so I think this will be a challenge for me as well.
The doctors are not going to do any more scans for about three months but I should have a clear scan under my belt before returning to work, the chance of the cancer still being present is less than 10 percent but I would be pleased to get that reinforcement. After that its just annual check ups and fingers crossed.
I am hoping to take a bit of vacation time in August with the family, we are working through options but our favourite idea is to hire a camper van and potter off to Europe for a few weeks, by then my immune system should be stable enough to leave the umbilical cord to the Western General here in edinburgh. Once I get out I will be on four times a week visits/ transfusions/ samples/ medications/ consultations to the hospital - I should set up a frequent flyer program for the hospital patients, ideas for prizes welcome in the comments section!
So all going well today, once I am out the blog will drop down to something like a once every few days moving to once every week updates. Many thanks to all of you for the comments, emails, calls and visits they really made the days in isolation much more bearable.
Cheers
Gerry
The convalesence program is pretty long post treatment, it will take me at least three months to build up basic immunity and fitness before returning to some form of working. Not knowing what I will do on return is interesting so I will need to make a plan for that. Ideally some gentle problem fixing/internal consultancy will take me from September to the end of the year before a "proper job" with travelling etc comes up some time after January next year. I will be on significant medications to support the transplant until the end of this year and will need to avoid lots of travel and specially overnight returns from the USA in coach, my previous torture.
Once I get out of hospital I will start the dialogue with the team at Gore on possible short term projects and longer term solid contributions to the enterprise. That should be fun as I enjoy new challenges and opportunities.
In the short term I will need to get a gentle program of exercise and other mental activities to go along with my cooking hobby to prevent "post trauma" syndrome. Apparently a lot of folks who go through this kind of emotional roller coaster find it difficult to adjust back into normal life and have enthuasium for all the usual small challenges of daily life, even Lance Armstrong lay around the house for a few months before he kicked himself into gear so I think this will be a challenge for me as well.
The doctors are not going to do any more scans for about three months but I should have a clear scan under my belt before returning to work, the chance of the cancer still being present is less than 10 percent but I would be pleased to get that reinforcement. After that its just annual check ups and fingers crossed.
I am hoping to take a bit of vacation time in August with the family, we are working through options but our favourite idea is to hire a camper van and potter off to Europe for a few weeks, by then my immune system should be stable enough to leave the umbilical cord to the Western General here in edinburgh. Once I get out I will be on four times a week visits/ transfusions/ samples/ medications/ consultations to the hospital - I should set up a frequent flyer program for the hospital patients, ideas for prizes welcome in the comments section!
So all going well today, once I am out the blog will drop down to something like a once every few days moving to once every week updates. Many thanks to all of you for the comments, emails, calls and visits they really made the days in isolation much more bearable.
Cheers
Gerry
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