Big Fork in the road

Hi Folks,

Well I am all set up in the hospital now connected to my chemotherapy pump and starting to receive chemo 3 of the IVE chemo. I also have managed to download SKYPE (mulliganhomehospital) onto Poppy's laptop and web cam so I can web broadcast to home etc, which the kids are already enjoying pushing each other out of the way for a turn with the trendy headset. I hope this will really help with keeping in touch with their daily stories specially when I am in isolation. The priest that does the rounds and two of the nurses were fascinated with the technology, but unfortunately at that time Poppy and Holly were out bowling. When Lee came to visit she was surprised to be able to talk to the girls at home although still a bit shy of the technology, I think it will really help me stay connected. In fact its worth considering for when I travel on work basis along with MSN for emails (but perhaps both of those will not get past the IT security team at Gore and I don't want to carry two laptops).

Well the big news of the day was the consultation with Dr Scott, she was in very good form as my cancer has shrunk by more than 70 percent, with another dose of this IVE chemo still to go, this is a very good result and she was very pleased with my progress (scar tissue means that it never gets back to zero). Lee and I were very, very relieved. Had the tumours not shrunk, and this clone had grown through the previous chemo so that was a real chance, then we would have been in a real tight spot. With the stem cells in the freezer and the cancer (or mini G as Lee calls it) getting hammered by the chemo, the chances of getting out the other end of this have shot up dramatically two important milestones have been passed.

There is still some nasty treatment to come the BEAM chemo "will make you feel worse than you thought possible on some days" according to the doctor today, this is followed by the stem cell replacement and living in a bubble for four to six weeks but the light at the end of the tunnel just got a lot brighter. Basically if I keep my head down and battle through it there is every chance (80-90 percent) that I will get out of this at the end of the summer and be back into "normal life" with just annual scans to check for relapse or leukemia.

Another odd sign that the doctors are positive is that they are actually beginning to worry about the total Xray, radiotherapy and PET radioactivity load on my body, so will now try to keep scans to the necessary minimum, one about three months after the stem cell treatment and then the annual basis thereafter. Up to this point they had to delve in and find out what was going on "all guns blazing" but their minds are also turning to the future.

From a motivational point of view I feel fantastic, and Lee seems to be the same, with a lot of emotions we have both been keeping in check coming out along with the relief, so a lot of tears and some long way to go but today feels like a turning point. I feel that I can handle the rough days better if I have a really good chance that it is curing me, and not just using up time I have left being sick because of the treatment. So I just have to battle through it, lets see if I feel as tough on the day...I will probably just wimp around and ask for more drugs if previous experience is anything to go by - but in my own head, and perhaps only for today I am feeling like Rambo in training to beat the big Russian guy, bring it on ! (only thing is I feel loud rock music should play automatically in the background but nothing happens)

So, more soberly, new timetable is chemo 3 now, which will have me in hospital until Monday or Tuesday, recovery at home for four weeks to get fitness levels up to be able to sustain the BEAM chemo which should start on 28th of March. That will have me in hospital in isolation until early May so during the monster challenge I may still be in isolation or just having got out of hospital and very wobbly, so I think I will miss out on the party - 2008 instead I suppose. Doctors are saying minimum 3 months to go from the pretty wasted state I will be in to any sort of stamina, more like 6 months before I feel normal again.

So today was a good day, a real high in the emotional roller coaster so we allowed ourselves a bit of a yipee, fighting head back on tomorrow for the day by day dig in.

Oh and the bluesmobile is getting fixed finally by Aston Martin, and I did not have to pay !

Cheers

Gerry