This will nip a bit!!!!!!

I have become used to bracing myself when a doctor with a big needle or a scalpel says “this will nip a bit”, so it was today when I was taken to the theatre for the Hickman line insertion. It did not hurt too much when they had the local anascetic on the skin but its funny to have a guys fingers inside your chest cutting a small hole in the main vein to you heart. All the pushing and prodding makes me feel like a lump of (awake) meat on the table, but the nursing staff keep up a nice chat taking my mind off the procedure, and my breathing exercises help a lot to calm me down when the inevitable snags and fiddling around happen. So now I am the proud owner of a Hickman line, direct channel to my heart, I did check that it has valves as I was a bit worried about the speed with which the blood can come out, if it started leaking in the night I think you would be in big trouble! Just after I came back the nurse took four blood samples just by clipping the syringes on to the end of the line which was brilliant compared to the problems I had last time with needles. In reality these chemo agents are so powerful that they need the dilution of the line to prevent localised damage to the blood vessels.

So in a few hours the chemo will be applied so I am trying to relax and catch up on the sleep I did not get last night, all the alarms, lights and movement made it difficult to sleep, not to mention the apprehension of the events of today - so I feel just like I do when we travel back from the USA in coach when it is full on a Friday night. Once I thought of that I felt better, as I know how to cope with that fatigue and still keep going when I get home so I used the same strategy - eat a good breakfast, took a shower, and some exercise and I was feeling a bit human again.

I have taken the home laptop into the hospital but have been unable to connect to the four wireless networks I have found so far so I may splash out on a vodaphone broadband card now that I know I can use the blackberry for work mails and phone calls and reimburse the company for the use. That means all my friends do not need a new number to send me texts and I can call out - this is a ward which allows phone use which is a great thing to help with the feeling of being alone and isolated.

Good news on the outside is that Lee has got over her flu and is feeling much better, our precautions appear to have prevented me catching it, I should have really got a flu jab earlier in the year but we cannot think of everything. Never the less we are still being really careful and wiping down anything she brings in with antiseptic wipes keeping hands clean and sitting a few feet apart to minimise any residual danger to me or other patients.

So that’s enough for today, I need to get my head ready for chemo 1, day 1, of four fingers crossed for a smoothish ride. If its just like a bad flu I will think of myself as being ahead.

Cheers
Gerry