Deputy blogger has done a great job keeping you up to date over the course of the last few days, I think she does a better job than me with her “good housekeeping” style of poems, recipies and stories. She saved my ass yesterday, when she arrived, I had completely lost the plot and did not know which way was up, she took one look at me and rallied the doctors to a higher pitch of urgency, essentially acting as a advocate for me, as I could not really speak - foolishly I was trying to “tough out” a headache which turned out to be inflammation of membrane around my brain - by the time I worked this out I could not speak or move coherently and my head felt like it was on fire. My temperature was 38.7oC and I felt just terrible. Yes I was an idiot next time they ask me if head is really sore I will say yes.
Once they got the heavy duty pain relief into me the world adjusted itself into up and down again so we spend the rest of the night oscillating different pain killers to manage the headache without going over the limit for any one drug. The night team were great but I was basically stoned out of my head for most of it - which to be honest was fine by me because when they wore off the headache came back and I would be eating the mattress again. I made myself eat breakfast and had a long chat with the doctors then suddenly a massive wave of fatigue set in and I crashed out for four hours. When I woke up I felt human again, my head was just a bit tender and I felt really hungry, temp is down and I seem to be on the mend - what a relief !
I did have some very interesting spaced out moments over the evening, at one point I felt I was floating in a warm glow at another things seemed to merge together visually into flowing patterns, all very nice after the anguish of the afternoon.
So now I am looking forward to getting home, eating good wholesome food, Hollys chicken sounds wonderful, sleeping in my own bed and hugging (carefully) the girls. It will be nice to wake up to the light from the city filtering through the curtains rather than the glow of instruments and pumps with the background noises of a busy high care ward.
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5 comments:
Hello Gerry -
Glad to hear things are better (a bit). Sounds like quite a rough patch of it!
Keeping you in my thoughts (as I am now in LIV for a few days enjoying the weather!).
Best wishes for a steady stretch ahead, and smooth transition to home.
David
Hi Gerry:
Sounds like things have been a bit rough for the last few days. Glad things are looking a bit better. I thought some words from "The Prophet" might help with those headaches!
Hang in there!
Crystal
On Pain
And a woman spoke, saying, "Tell us of Pain."
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
Hi David,
I definitaly put whatever the hell that was that made my head feel like it was exploding on the list of never, never do that again minus class A controlled drug regium (or even with).
However today is a good day, a bit of the usual chemo gut rot but no big deal, made it back to my house for the evening meal which was super.
Dont know what your and Johns schedule is but if you are out in the city call in for a few minutes, it would be nice to see people from the real world. No worries if your not.
Cheers
Gerry
Hi Crystal,
Thanks for the beautiful poem on pain its very well done. Personally I will not however follow the advice on bearing it serenely as that may have worked in the desert but in the hospital ward class A drugs are the magic bullet :-))
Nice to hear from you and know you all are rooting for me.
Cheers
Gerry
Gerry
Read Mondays Scotsman and recognised both you and Poppy. Yourself from Avril in Inverness, and Poppy from many years back in James Gillespies nursery. Is she at Heriots now - noticed from the blog she played regularly on saturday morning? did she play in the tournan=ment at Watsons a couple of weeks ago?
Have heard various stories from Avril throughout the years about you and Lee although we are now back in Edinburgh - really just want to wish you all the best - life is just shit sometimes but you've got to give it your best shot. You seem to have a lovely family and good support network of friends. will be thinking of you
Andrea
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